Harassment in gaming

[Eltab]

Mods, my comment following is more accurately aimed at you:

... don't care for the inflammatory language used in the article. ... The inflammatory language has hurt the discussion, certainly, ...

After reviewing ENWorld's Code of Conduct, I do not see why OP's linked article was not flagged for violations. It fails to 'be respectful' and 'be polite'. It stomps all over the borderlines for 'no politics.'

How do you see it?

Thanks.

 

[Eltab]

How does one prove a verbal chant in public where the only one not chanting is the victim?

Smart phone, wired for sight and sound, and streaming live, and creating a file on YouTube.

 

[MechaPilot]

If a game calls upon players to lean over a table, why would you wear a skirt for that?

Why wouldn't I wear a skirt for that? I find skirts much more comfortable than pants. They don't give that "I don't care how I look" vibe that sweat-pants give off. They're certainly more discrete than yoga pants. They don't disrupt the pieces on the board. Also, a knee-length skirt provides enough coverage that you can lean over without even showing panty (not that showing panty would be an excuse for people to harass someone). Plus, between leaning and being able to walk around the table, it's not as if you have to completely bend over to get a good look at the board/battlefield.

And it's not like I expect men to be blind or to avert their eyes. If I lean over in a skirt and a guy (or girl for that matter) likes what he sees, that's fine. Just be respectful about it: don't stare, don't make rude comments, don't touch without asking. A good rule of thumb is if you'd have a problem with someone doing it to your mother, sister, or daughter, then don't do it to me.

 

[MechaPilot]

Smart phone, wired for sight and sound, and streaming live, and creating a file on YouTube.

So women should be wired for video and sound in a manner that creates an off-site record whenever they go out in public? Also, I'm not very up to date on smartphones, but how does a smartphone record action that could occur from any angle? If you have it set up to record what's in front of you, it's going to completely miss recording some dude grabbing your butt.

 

[DOTTIE]

Mods, my comment following is more accurately aimed at you:


After reviewing ENWorld's Code of Conduct, I do not see why OP's linked article was not flagged for violations. It fails to 'be respectful' and 'be polite'. It stomps all over the borderlines for 'no politics.'

How do you see it?

Thanks.

Will this thread be deleted then? What happens?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

If a game calls upon players to lean over a table, why would you wear a skirt for that?

If a game calls upon players to lean over a table, why would you wear tight jeans for that?
If a game calls upon players to lean over a table, why would you wear shorts for that?

It isn't about the clothes, it is about not treating people as objects.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Smart phone, wired for sight and sound, and streaming live, and creating a file on YouTube.

As MechaPilot points out, there are problems with implementing this. Unless the woman is recording 24/7 in all directions simultaneously, there will be a both time/reaction and LoS gaps between behavior and record.

 

[Jeremy E Grenemyer]

Advice For Handling Conversations And Conflicts After Harassment Is Observed

In order to curb the problem of harassment, male gamers are going to have to step up.

Here is some of the best advice I have seen on how men can take steps to deal with the problem of harassment:

COMMUNICATE with someone who looks uncomfortable. Don’t let them wander off feeling like nobody cares. Ask simple things like “Are you OK?” and listen to what’s said. If they need to go to convention security, get them to convention security. If they just want to leave, separate them from the people harassing them and let them leave on their own, or ask the harasser to leave. It’s the person who’s made uncomfortable’s choice about who leaves the situation, not yours.

CALL PEOPLE OUT on bad manners. Explain that bad manners have consequences. Explain that this is a public space, and they can either conform to the expected standards of behavior or they can leave. Or you can threaten to leave — this is a pedal democracy; people show their displeasure by leaving. I’ve told gaming tables “You can have me playing, or your rape jokes. Choose now.”

As you can see, the steps above involve confronting others to some degree.

I'm pretty uncomfortable with confronting other people. I have a hard time dealing with strangers in a direct, authoritative way unless I'm really pissed off.

I am also aware that being pissed doesn't help a situation. It usually makes it worse.

So here's my question:

For those of you that have had training or experience in dealing with difficult situations involving harassment or abuse, or have had training or experience in how to engage someone behaving badly in a conversation so it does not turn into a conflict, what are some general pointers you can share on how to assess a situation, to assess a person or persons, and how to address someone else, so things don't devolve into a shouting match or a fist fight?

EDIT: Is there any recommended reading as well? Blogs, books, etc.?

 

[MechaPilot]

As MechaPilot points out, there are problems with implementing this. Unless the woman is recording 24/7 in all directions simultaneously, there will be a both time/reaction and LoS gaps between behavior and record.

There's also the Pariah aspect.

It's very possible that a person, regardless of gender, wearing a 360 degree audio-video rig that transmits and saves the data off-site would be asked to leave a store for making others uncomfortable (I doubt such a rig would be inconspicuous). I also suspect that a person with such a rig would probably see people at a con not wanting to game at the same table she's at.

And even if the pariah aspect weren't present, there's also potential transmission issues. I see people having difficulty with cell phone reception all the time, I can easily imagine that transmitting from a smartphone would be subject to the same transmission limitations as placing/receiving a phone call.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

There's also the Pariah aspect.

It's very possible that a person, regardless of gender, wearing a 360 degree audio-video rig that transmits and saves the data off-site would be asked to leave a store for making others uncomfortable (I doubt such a rig would be inconspicuous). I also suspect that a person with such a rig would probably see people at a con not wanting to game at the same table she's at.

A.K.A. the "Glass-hole" issue. As Google found out with Google Glass devices, people don't like being recorded without permission. Some places even barred the use of Glass devices.

And even if the pariah aspect weren't present, there's also potential transmission issues. I see people having difficulty with cell phone reception all the time, I can easily imagine that transmitting from a smartphone would be subject to the same transmission limitations as placing/receiving a phone call.

And whose contract is going to support that much data usage?* Whose battery will last through an entire day of recoding all that stuff?








* even if there is, it won't be cheap, and is adding a requirement of busying such contacts just for safety another "Woman Tax" we want to add to our culture?