Harassment in gaming

[Sadras]

It just seems to me that most people, particularly gamers who often have a history of being picked on, have much more of a "keep your head down," "don't make waves," "don't get involved" type of mentality than they do a "hey, that's not right, I have to do/say something" mentality.

That is a good point.

What I have noticed, and I haven't noticed anyone actually mentioning this, except beating the same old "white male hobby" crap, is that at least a number of online posters on Enworld, including myself, have mentioned that they have gamed or still game with their mothers, wives, girlfriends, daughters or their friends' wags. That should mean as the hobby moves into the second and third generation more and more women are being included and one would imagine that these women would not be harrassed (certainly not in their playgroups). If these women are being harrased in their playgroups, then the issue in their instance is a lot more serious than strangers harassing strangers.

 

[Springheel]

I can't really recall any accounts of incidents where someone stood up for someone else who was being harassed

I posted an article that included several examples.

Or people who don't particularly care about women being harassed/threatened/abused in our community by members of our community could refrain from posting in the thread about a topic they don't care about.

​

Where are the people who "don't particularly care"? I think there was one such post in the last 65 pages.

 

[MechaPilot]

I posted an article that included several examples.

I missed that earlier, and I almost missed your reminder of that link as well. When you took my forum name out of the quote, I didn't get notified that I had been quoted, and with some of the horrible posts that have popped up in both of the harassment threads I've only been giving some of the posts a cursory skimming.

I am glad to see some examples of the gaming community policing itself effectively, so thank you for the link. I will say that I do disagree a little bit with the article you linked to in that I don't think having anti-harassment policies and promoting awareness of the problem is a bad thing.

I also do think that more needs to be done, especially in the arena of having enough camera coverage to catch evidence of gropings and other sexual assault and battery actions that are notoriously difficult to successfully take to the authorities without video evidence. The groping issue is unlikely to seriously affect me, because no one is ever going to see me and think "She's so hot, I wanna get a handful of that." However, cosplayers and other gamers could certainly use the backup if they ever need to file a sexual assault/battery complaint.

 

[Catulle]

I posted an article that included several examples.

You posted an article penned by the guy that harassed my (now) wife online and in person a few years back in a pretty awful way, trying to drive her out of a LARP. Since that point, he seems to have written "In defence of rape" (as a cool narrative trope) and snuggled up to GamerGate...

Is this meant to be in some way credible to me?

 

[MechaPilot]

You posted an article penned by the guy that harassed my (now) wife online a few years back in a pretty awful way. Since that point, he seems to have written "In defence of rape" (as a cool narrative trope) and snuggled up to GamerGate...

Is this meant to be in some way credible to me?

Seriously? Well. . . dang. There goes another piece of my faith in the gaming community.

 

[Eltab]

If there was the awareness of the problem and the will to "STAND UP," wouldn't we be seeing more people recounting times when they stood up against harassment happening in their presence? Or more people recounting a time when they were harassed and someone stood up for them? Or even recounting times when they saw someone else stand up for another someone else who was being harassed?

I don't think you are wrong, and I'm not arguing against you.
I wonder if going through K-12 Lutheran school (as opposed to Public school) hasn't provided me with a world-view that allows me to see an act, identify it as a problem, and react accordingly; rather than think "well it must be ok for them" or "they aren't complaining about it" or "it's not my problem".

Start here: WWPD - What Would (a classic Lawful Good) Paladin Do?
Go ye therefore and do likewise.

P.S. in order to anticipate the outraged posts I'm sure are coming,
modified slightly from a "So-and-so is the greatest star ever" Brag Book: BRJN's ego is so big that when he walks in the rain, only the top of his head gets wet.

 

[Springheel]

I will say that I do disagree a little bit with the article you linked to in that I don't think having anti-harassment policies and promoting awareness of the problem is a bad thing.

I can see his point, but I would tend to agree more with you on that issue. Anti-harassment policies (that define what is and isn't acceptable at that venue) are good ideas at any conventions where you have thousands of strangers crammed into tight spaces.

 

[Hussar]

Something to remember too is that the overwhelming majority of play isn't happening at con's, so, it's probably statistically likely that a lot of the harassment isn't happening at con's either. With things like Encounters and Pathfinder Society, you have an awful lot of gaming going on with strangers on a pretty regular basis.

I have no idea what the actual numbers are, but, back around 15 years ago (the last time I saw any numbers) the RPGA had about 150k members. At a guess, I'd hope Encounters+Pathfinder Society is the same size. Again, I don't know, so, I'm going entirely with my gut.

But, in any case, there's a boatload of strangers playing together in public spaces on a regular basis.

So, the issue of harassment has to be handled at the "grassroots" level as well. FLGS's need to make it abundantly clear that harassment is a thing and it's not tolerated. Clearly post harassment policies in visible places, heck use the Encounters policy and just blow it up to poster size, in the gaming store. The store managers should also probably take a few minutes at the beginning of each Season, to sit down with the DM's for a few minutes (it's not like this takes hours to make clear) that harassment is being taken very seriously and the DM's should be both alert for it and conscious of it when running games.

Organised play, IMO, is a good place to disseminate information and educate people that this sort of thing is totally unacceptable.

 

[Hussar]

I can see his point, but I would tend to agree more with you on that issue. Anti-harassment policies (that define what is and isn't acceptable at that venue) are good ideas at any conventions where you have thousands of strangers crammed into tight spaces.

But, again, this is a big point, the overwhelming majority of play isn't done at conventions. And conventions with "thousands of strangers" are comparatively pretty rare. There are far, far more conventions with hundreds of strangers where they simply do not have the resources for dedicated security, policing, video surveillance and whatnot. You wouldn't expect that at a wedding party would you? That's a similar sized gathering.

Anti-harassment policies, like the one you find on Page 9 of the Adventurers League Player's Guide are necessary at all venues not just Gen Con sized ones.

And, on a side note. We've heard numerous stories of female gamers having the DM have an NPC rape the PC during a prisoner situation. How many male gamers have ever had this same scenario occur? Has anyone reading this, if you're male, EVER had your PC raped? Whether the PC is male or female? Killed? Sure. Tortured? Maybe. Raped? I'm pretty sure that it almost never happens. How many stories have you heard where the male DM roleplays a rape with another male player?

All these arguments about "male players matter too" really do miss the point.

 

[MechaPilot]

How many stories have you heard where the male DM roleplays a rape with another male player?

Just one, earlier in this thread. I think it was @Sadras who mentioned male-on-male rape happening to one of his characters because the DM thought it was funny.

Edit: I will say that I don't recall if @Sadras said the DM just said that it happened to his character or if the DM tried to make him RP it (as happened in my case).

Edit#2: It was actually [MENTION=31754]Lord Twig[/MENTION], you can find it here.