Hasbro/WotC's movie problems

I've finally figured out why Hasbro/WotC has problems with their movies....

Not successful:
Dungeons & Dragons - I think we all agree this blew major chunks
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Quickly climbing the Rotten Tomatoes chart as worst movie ever.

Semi or Very Successful (or at least not laughed at)
D&D Wrath of the Dragon God - not a great movie, but better than the first by a league or more
Transformers (both) - The first one is currently on the all time highest grossing movie list.

So what do the first two have that the others don't ....

MARLON WAYANS!!

That's right Hasbro, let someone cast him in one of your movies and it's toilet bowl city for that production.
 

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Deuce Traveler

Adventurer
The first Dungeons and Dragons, GI Joe, and even the Transformers movies all show that Hasbro has no respect for their fans' intelligence. The people running the company believe they can just put crap on the television screen and they'll make money.

Transformers is a horrible movie with cool CGI effects, and a director who has a good sense of rythm in action scenes, so it made money but didn't get a cent out of me.

Using the device from Clockwork Orange, I did complete the entire Dungeons and Dragons movie.

The second Dungeons and Dragons movie was much better and I attribute that to a lack of attention from Hasbro. Still, it had a made for TV script, and a mediocre set of actors playing cookie cutter characters. But I could tell that whoever put it together cared about Greyhawk's Lore and DnD's legacy, and the actors had some respect for the attempt. For that I am very glad the film was made and grateful to those involved in it. I also enjoyed the interview with Gygax in the special features on the DVD I own.
 

Relique du Madde

First Post
What I think Hasbro needs to do is hire a good screen writer and not some two bit hack who thinks the answer to a go no where scene is tna, or a throw away joke. Seriously, I can't see how anyone managed to sit through even transformers without rolling their eyes at least once (without being drunk, stoned, braindead, on meds, lobotomized, or even low on the IQ scale).

Oh, and please someone launch Marlon Waynes and Shia Lebeof to the moon on a indian (or chinese) test rocket. They both need disappearing.
 

cignus_pfaccari

First Post
You know, I kinda liked the G.I. Joe movie. It could've been better, but I enjoyed it. It was nice and goofy fun, and they had a Pit (in a stupid place, but still), which meant they were taking stuff from the comics rather than the TV series.

Admittedly, the wrath of my friend who thought I'd hate it was even more funny.

The IDW comic series that's sort of based on the movies (but much more serious) is VERY good.

Brad
 

Jhaelen

First Post
Transformers is a horrible movie with cool CGI effects, and a director who has a good sense of rythm in action scenes, so it made money but didn't get a cent out of me.
Yup, I thought it was spectacularly bad. However, that's mostly because I'm not the target audience - it's a movie for early teens. I suppose if I was still twelve years old, I would have thought it was great!

What frightens me is that two players in my D&D group feel the movie is good (and while they're younger than me, they're clearly no longer in their early teens...).

I've still not managed to watch either of the D&D movies for longer than a couple of minutes. They're simply crap and don't even have cool CGI effects to provide a reason to continue watching them.
 

You know, I kinda liked the G.I. Joe movie. It could've been better, but I enjoyed it. It was nice and goofy fun, and they had a Pit (in a stupid place, but still), which meant they were taking stuff from the comics rather than the TV series.

Admittedly, the wrath of my friend who thought I'd hate it was even more funny.

The IDW comic series that's sort of based on the movies (but much more serious) is VERY good.

Brad
You need to check out the Sci-Fi Guy's review on GI Joe:The Rise of Cobra. Reality is a dish best served flaming hot, dumped in your lamp and then allowed to set your crotch on fire. :) It was REALLY bad and completely unbelievable. (quick list of WTF moments: Cobra steals the plans from the Joe's secret base and wipes the floor with an army of "trained" specialist and yet the Joes attack Cobra's base with 6 people...really? You put the two rookies in the super suits that are overly complicated and need specialized training because why? Ice floats, it doesn't fall in water (Cobra base destruction scene) and Destro's ancestor is "tortured" by putting a flaming hot mask on his face...ummm I'm pretty sure that would have killed him owing to the medical practices of the time.)

Yeah, I didn't like Transformers any better, but at least it was half way passable and while it wasn't written well, at least it was consistent in its flawed logic all the way through. Of course the product placement was just sad. (Bumblebee should be a VW...period)

I'm happy to say I didn't see any of these in theaters (except the D&D movie - "Curse you Hasbro, I will never get that 2 hours back!!!" *shakes fist at sky*) and all on someone else's dime.

To be fair, I also made fun of Spiderman the musical - I mean 3 because emo Spidey was just AWESOME! *rolls eyes*. Pirate's of the Caribbean 2 & 3 because - they sucked - badly!!! (why did you need two armadas of ships as a MAJOR plot point if only three ship fight in the last battle?) and all of the re-do's/re-makes and re-write in the Star Wars series (how could Greedo, a trained bounty hunter miss a shot from that close, oh I know, BECAUSE HAN SHOT FIRST!!!)

Yes, I nitpick the details, but then again, I want to suspend my disbelief when I watch a movie; if you aren't even going to try just because you have a huge budget. please, get out of Hollywood....
 

NewJeffCT

First Post
Transformers is a horrible movie with cool CGI effects, and a director who has a good sense of rythm in action scenes, so it made money but didn't get a cent out of me.

Transformers also featured a breakout star in Megan Fox, who was ridiculously hot in that movie. Too bad everything else she has been in since has been awful.
 

NewJeffCT

First Post
MARLON WAYANS!!

That's right Hasbro, let someone cast him in one of your movies and it's toilet bowl city for that production.

You know what - I looked up his filmography on IMDB. I figured that he's been around long enough that he had to have been in a decent movie or two by now.

However, unless you consider I'm Gonna Get You Sucka good (And, he had a cameo in that one), nothing he's been in has been good.

So, it could be the key.
 

You know what - I looked up his filmography on IMDB. I figured that he's been around long enough that he had to have been in a decent movie or two by now.

However, unless you consider I'm Gonna Get You Sucka good (And, he had a cameo in that one), nothing he's been in has been good.

So, it could be the key.
I wasn't gonna go there, but yeah... ;)
 

Holy Bovine

First Post
The first Dungeons and Dragons, GI Joe, and even the Transformers movies all show that Hasbro has no respect for their fans' intelligence. The people running the company believe they can just put crap on the television screen and they'll make money.

Transformers is a horrible movie with cool CGI effects, and a director who has a good sense of rythm in action scenes, so it made money but didn't get a cent out of me.


So you never saw it? Saw it on TV? Just trying to figure out if you made a decision based on what the movie was and not what critics called it. For myself the Transformer movies were as good or better than that awful 80s cartoon.
 




... Rotten Tomatoes ...

MARLON WAYANS!!

Here's a funny bit of statistics for you: Check out Marlon Wayans page at Rotten Tomatoes ( Marlon Wayans - News, Filmography, Pictures ) You will find that the D+D movie is actually the 2nd lowest grossing movie he's been in (that we have data for). The one that's lower is Requiem for a Dream, which is actually an awesome movie where he shows he can be a legitimate actor. The only two movies with lower ratings are Senseless and Norbit - and Norbit pulled in 95 million dollars.

Going by the numbers, D+D is pulling Marlon Wayans down, not the other way around.
 

Going by the numbers, D+D is pulling Marlon Wayans down, not the other way around.

I think the truth is the guy still has a career and he definitely has a following. A lot of people from that era aren't around any longer, Marlon and Shawn Wayans are still making movies, producing and writing.
 


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