D&D 5E Help me balance crazy over the top artifacts

Artifact 2:Staff of the Ancients
Doce bellum pacem praedicare
"Preach peace Teach War"

This amber tipped mithril staff is carved with symbols of peace and love.

This staff counts as a magic finesse weapon that you can use the better of your str,dex,int or cha as your attack stat, and it deals 1d12 with versatile 2d6.

Anyone can attune to this and as long as they have it on them they have a mage armor effect on them, and if they are a spell caster they always count as having shield prep/known

It has 20 charges and regains 2d8 charges every night at midnight.
An attuned spell caster can at will detect magic, and launch a bolt of unairing force (exactly like a single magic missile)at a range of 30ft that deals 2d6 force damage to 1 target and 1d6 to another within 30ft you can concentrate for up to 1 minute and keep the force bolt in effect using your bonus action to guide it to unfailingly hit 1 target each round for 2d4 force thereafter.

You can spend 1 charge to cast Misty Step, 2 Charges to cast Arcane eye*, Invisibility*, arcane gate*, or acid arrow, 3 charges to put up a wall of force*, or cast fly* on yourself, or 5 charges for a lesser disintegration that deals your HD as force damage but still can reduce to ash.
If any spell has concentration (marked with*) you can spend double the charges to have the staff concentrate instead of you, the staff can only have 1 concentration going at a time.
As a ritual the attuned user can cast magic circle for 5 charges, this take 10 minutes… once done though it also can be used to spend 10 charges to open a teleport circle to a circle you know the code for.

Once per day if the attuned user would die, instead they are cocooned in amber for 3d6 days and when the time end they awaken with 0HD and half there max hp, but otherwise as if they had taken a long rest.

DANGER: when the staff recharges at midnight if you have less HD remaining then the number of charges it regained (on the 2d8) you gain a level of exhaustion
 

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Boltizar the forbidden one

Once a powerful lord of order, one that was in charge of insuring that magical effects stayed within the limits of the gods wishes. (arcane, divine, and primal)When he saw the forces of chaos amassing for war he and a few others tried to get the lords of order to do the same. They were out voted.
Boltizar did what no lord of order had ever done before, and disobeyed the collective will of the democracy of order…
He didn't just prepare for a war, he built a weapon that could end one. A mystic mine that could kill even a god, or maybe multi gods at once. He also created spells. He was not the first lord of order to make a weapon, not even the first to make one that should never be used… but he was the first to knowingly go against the will of the majority make a weapon and also want to use it, and when confronted felt 0 remorse.
The Mystic Mines (yes plural, this guy made god killer bombs plural) where taken apart and disjoined, and he was removed of most of his power. Now a mortal mage with minor divine essence, the Lords of Order thought Boltizar would be no threat. They were wrong.
He continued to make weapons, armor and ways to fight the lords of chaos, and even tried to rally the other mortals to do so with him. IN the end the lords of order took the closest vote they ever had, it came down to 1 voice, Valaria, his ex lover… but the vote was made and his soul and power were locked into one of his own inventions, a helm that could glimpse the future.


His name was stricken, and when the old gods left, he remained, now the new gods do not know the danger hidden in this mystic helmet.
I love it.... I hope those Mystic Mines (you totally stole that from yugioh too) are a plot point too. like if you can talk to him he can help you rebuild them.
 

Artifact 2:Staff of the Ancients
Doce bellum pacem praedicare
"Preach peace Teach War"


This amber tipped mithril staff is carved with symbols of peace and love.

This staff counts as a magic finesse weapon that you can use the better of your str,dex,int or cha as your attack stat, and it deals 1d12 with versatile 2d6.

Anyone can attune to this and as long as they have it on them they have a mage armor effect on them, and if they are a spell caster they always count as having shield prep/known

It has 20 charges and regains 2d8 charges every night at midnight.
An attuned spell caster can at will detect magic, and launch a bolt of unairing force (exactly like a single magic missile)at a range of 30ft that deals 2d6 force damage to 1 target and 1d6 to another within 30ft you can concentrate for up to 1 minute and keep the force bolt in effect using your bonus action to guide it to unfailingly hit 1 target each round for 2d4 force thereafter.


You can spend 1 charge to cast Misty Step, 2 Charges to cast Arcane eye*, Invisibility*, arcane gate*, or acid arrow, 3 charges to put up a wall of force*, or cast fly* on yourself, or 5 charges for a lesser disintegration that deals your HD as force damage but still can reduce to ash.
If any spell has concentration (marked with*) you can spend double the charges to have the staff concentrate instead of you, the staff can only have 1 concentration going at a time.
As a ritual the attuned user can cast magic circle for 5 charges, this take 10 minutes… once done though it also can be used to spend 10 charges to open a teleport circle to a circle you know the code for.


Once per day if the attuned user would die, instead they are cocooned in amber for 3d6 days and when the time end they awaken with 0HD and half there max hp, but otherwise as if they had taken a long rest.

DANGER: when the staff recharges at midnight if you have less HD remaining then the number of charges it regained (on the 2d8) you gain a level of exhaustion
this one is good on it's own for a party of 5th+ level, only the disintegrate is too much but artifacts are supposed to be and you downed the damage.
 

I love it.... I hope those Mystic Mines (you totally stole that from yugioh too) are a plot point too. like if you can talk to him he can help you rebuild them.
yes and yes

in the source marital star gate, merlin is an ancient that instead of ascending is frozen but he is so old that he can't survive coming out of stasis, so he down loads his brain or at least parts of it into a team member (also not the first time that happened, not even the 2nd) and they have to build a god killer bomb then send it to another galaxy
 



Artifact 3 (this time with history right in main post) instead of the lords of order that everyone is looking for, this comes from the lords of chaos.

Arm of Xanadoth


The ‘arm’ is a tangled mess of tentacles and odd growths that can just barely function as an arm/hand but is much more flexible then any arm/hand.

She was a Lady of Chaos, she ruled over the concept of life itself, but she was as much cancer and disease as she was people and animals. A regular argument between herself and Iganis (Chaos lord of fire, lightning, and energy) was weather FIRE was alive… Xanadoth always tried to claim it was.

Before the Lords of Chaos left the prime material plane, she had a battle with Extent, the Titan of Time, during the fight he thought he gained the upper hand by cutting off her left arm at the shoulder, not realizing how fast a cancer can regrow. Her left arm is still on the prime, and if you find it you can use it to infect your own arm with it’s cancer, attune to it and gain a bit of her divine essence.

Any attuned wielder gains regeneration equal to their prof until they are at half hit points or less then they instead gain resistance to poison and necrotic damage.

Any attuned wielder has disadvantage on saves against diseases This disadvantage can NOT be countered with advantage, you always have it.

AN attuned wielder may choose to when attuning set 1 stat to be 19+ there prof (going up as their prof does) but if they do they must also choose a different stat to be set to 10- there prof (going down as there prof goes up) ( if the same person unattuned and reattunes they can not choose the same stat for either)

Any attuned wielder gains access to an at will attack that can be used as an action, or a bonus action when they take the attack action and have the left hand empty, Make a Dex or Cha attack against a creature within 15ft, if you hit you pull them up to 10ft, and they are grabbed, if you miss they take psychic damage equal to the modifier of your attack roll (so dex mod or cha mod) This attack and damage is given a plus equal to half your prof.

If the attuned wielder is a spell caster they add poison spray to there list of known cantrips, even if the attunement is removed they keep this benefit forever.

Bane/Bless as an action an attuned user may bend the laws of chance, they spend a HD and take damage equal to the roll, then both a bane and a bless spell go off, both of which require only a single concentration and any saves to maintain concentration are done with advantage.

Infect as an action an attuned user may choose a grabbed or immobilized creature within 15ft to gain the poison condition then make a Constitution saving throw (DC10+ wielders highest stat mod) or take 4d8 necrotic damage, this damage can not be healed until the target takes a long rest. At the end of every round the poisoned target rolls 1d8+8 and then can make a Constitution save dc of that result to remove the poison condition.

Contagion as an action the attuned wielder can spend a HD, roll it and take damage equal to it, then cast the Contagion spell

Every day at dawn the arm gains a number of charges equal to your prof -1d6 it can hold a maximum of 2 or half your HD witch ever is higher. You can spend 2 charges to cast Blight, or 3 charges to cast Harm, or 1d4+2 charges* to cast finger of death or they can spend 2d4 charges* to cast wither and bloom. If you spend down to 1 or 0 charges you gain a level of exhaustion. *random charges are rolled after the action is used but before the spell goes off, and are spent down to 0 if not enough charges remain.

To unattuned to this item you must first have a heal spell cast on you then a remove curse, if not you drop to 0hp and dying and can not regain hp in anyway for 3d6 days (leaving you in a comma if you stabilize) When you do so whether through heal/remove curse, or other you must roll a d6 on an even number you keep your left arm, on an odd number your left arm dies and falls off.
 

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