Help! My GM's trying to get me pregnant!

[Doug McCrae]

Well, my character anyway. Due to a draw from a Deck of Many Things-type artefact, my PC is hopelessly in love with a cook named Laurence. And he is equally in love with her. She took a quick break from battling the invading lizardman army and the couple were married by the party cleric.

A few weeks passed. The GM said I had to make a luck roll of 6 or better to avoid getting up the duff. I passed but I guess I won't stay lucky for ever. I told Chris, the DM, he was being totally sexist. I mean, it's a fantasy universe why shouldn't men be just as likely to get pregnant? But he didn't agree. He also said there wasn't any contraceptive magic so I'd have to research a spell. It's ridiculous - Mr. Gygax's magic system seems to be almost totally focused on killing monsters and taking their stuff as if arcane spellcasters didn't have rich, full lives to lead the same as anyone else.

So anyway, if I do fail the roll what are the rules for adventuring while preggers?

 

[Kalothagh]

Well, my character anyway. Due to a draw from a Deck of Many Things-type artefact, my PC is hopelessly in love with a cook named Laurence. And he is equally in love with her. She took a quick break from battling the invading lizardman army and the couple were married by the party cleric.

A few weeks passed. The GM said I had to make a luck roll of 6 or better to avoid getting up the duff. I passed but I guess I won't stay lucky for ever. I told Chris, the DM, he was being totally sexist. I mean, it's a fantasy universe why shouldn't men be just as likely to get pregnant? But he didn't agree. He also said there wasn't any contraceptive magic so I'd have to research a spell. It's ridiculous - Mr. Gygax's magic system seems to be almost totally focused on killing monsters and taking their stuff as if arcane spellcasters didn't have rich, full lives to lead the same as anyone else.

So anyway, if I do fail the roll what are the rules for adventuring while preggers?

There ARE spells actually. There is a book coming out that I know of that is based on the Erotic side of fantasy and , predictably, there are spells that help and stop you getting up the duff. Gimme a day or so and I will post some of the spells for you.
I'm being serious too.
I got hold of a free sample of the book. I'm at work at the present time so can't help straight away, as the sample is at home.

 

[Crothian]

There is also the book of Erotic Fantasy that handles all this stuff....and much, much more.....

 

[Arcane Runes Press]

My simple answer is "NO $%#@I(%^ way are you mandating pregnancy for my character."

Follow that up by pointing out that many couples spend years trying for a child without any luck, so there's no reason to assume sex is going to leave you in a family way until you say it does.

That's never failed to work for me (granted, I only said it once.)

Failing That:


Fallow Field
Necromancy
Level: Brd 0, Drd 0, Clr 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, M, F/DF
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: 1 week/level
Saving Throw: Fort negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

With the touch of your hand, you render a being capable of producing offspring barren for a number of days equal to your caster level. The spell, which works equally well on men and women, does not alter the subject's body. Instead, it separates them from the divine spark that quickens new life - they can still mate, but there is no chance of pregnancy resulting from the union.
Material Component: A bit of turtle shell.

 

[der_kluge]

Have your DM search for the netbook of sex. It's free, it's good. Maybe it's called the netbook of carnal knowledge now. I seem to recall seeing that title. Anyway, it has every rule regarding sex and pregnancy that you ever really wanted to know.

 

[Hand of Evil]

There are a very good many plants and even Don Juan had protection!

 

[Starman]

Best. Thread. Title. EVAR.

Starman

 

[Sir Elton]

Here's a spell for you:

Abortis Maximus
Necromancy
Level: Brd 0, Clr 4, Sor/Wiz 3

Uhm . . . this seems too high a level for the Bard. It should be level 2.

 

[Piratecat]

DontPunkMe, I've deleted your post. The choice is pretty simple: either use good sense and good taste while posting, and follow the Grandmother Rule, or you won't be posting here. We don't have a lot of patience for posts like the one you just made.

If you wish to discuss it, feel free to email me; my address is in the Meta forum.

 

[dontpunkme]

my bad piratecat