As a monk, Armor Class is nearly a lost cause, so don't expect to be dodging many attacks. Still, a high-Wis/high-Dex monk is classic, so I'm not going to suggest a more brutish/effective alternative. I strongly suggest you go for Spring Attack as your upcoming 6th-level feat, because sometimes you'll face enemies that just pulverize your monk's poor-AC-and-modest-HP butt with full-attack actions, and when that comes up, you'll want to dash up to an opponent, smack 'em once, and move on another 10-15 feet, to prevent them from full-attacking you. Once your Strength reaches 18 at 8th-level, your +1/+1 quarterstaff will deal fairly decent damage when striking with a charge, AoO, spring attack, or standard attack action (1d8+7).
Str 16, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 18, Cha 8
L1: Weapon Focus (Quarterstaff)
L1(1F): Two-Weapon Fighting
L1(1H): Dodge
L2(1M): Stunning Fist
L3: Mobility
L3(2M): Combat Reflexes
L4: +1 Strength
Your Base Attack Bonus will be +3. When you do a full-attack action, you will be able to either make a single two-handed quarterstaff attack at +8 total (BAB +3, Str +3, feat +1, enhancement +1) for 1d6+5 damage (+1 enhancement, +4 Str for using it as a two-hander rather than a double weapon that round), or two attacks with the quarterstaff at +6/+6 total (+3 BAB, +3 Str, +1 feat, +1 enhancement, -2 flurry) for 1d6+4/1d6+4 damage (+3 Str for using each end as effectively one-handed, +1 enhancement), or three attacks at +4/+4/+4 total (+3 BAB, +3 Str, +1 feat, +1 enhancement, -2 flurry, -2 two-weapon fighting) for 1d6+4/1d6+4/1d6+4 damage (+3 Str, +1 enhancement).
Your extra attack from the flurry of blows could be an unarmed strike instead of a quarterstaff strike (attack bonus would be 2 points lower since you wouldn't have Weapon Focus nor a +1 enhancement with the unarmed strike, and the damage would be 1 point lower for lack of the enhancement), but I'd only advise it when you want to use Stunning Fist, or once your unarmed damage dice exceed your +1/+1 magic quarterstaff in damage efficiency (not sure though if monks can use TWF with unarmed strikes alone though in 3.5).
Your AC will be 16, 17 against your Dodge target; pretty shabby, but it's typical of a low-level monk with no bracers of armor/amulet of natural armor/ring of protection/gloves of dexterity/periapt of wisdom. Convince the party's arcane caster that it would be really helpful to cast Mage Armor on you, and convince the party's divine caster that it would be really helpful to cast shield of faith or barkskin on you (as appropriate), because you'll protect them so they don't have to worry about getting hit. Hopefully. With the spells your AC should reach the lower-to-mid 20's and that'll help you tank for the party, keeping enemies preoccupied against shooting or smacking the casters.
A tactic you could use (at 6th-level onward) is to Spring Attack at an enemy, stun them, and move onward to within close reach of another enemy, or at least get in the way of an opponent's direct path to the casters. That way they'll either suffer an AoO when they move past you to reach the more fragile characters, or they'll have to confront you rather than charging headlong into the poor casters' ranks. Alternatively, you can save your Stunning Fist attack for the round to use with an AoO; when an opponent tries to move past or away from you to reach an ally, you can smack them with Stunning Fist to end their movement (assuming they fail the Fort save). Your Stunning Fist DC at 4th-level should be 15, but it'll go up to 16 when you gain another level. It'll put your Wisdom to good use.
Improved Natural Attack apparently might be useful (according to the debate in the forum), but I'd say it can wait. As for Ability Focus, isn't that Monster Manual feat only applicable to racial/monster special abilities?
Please stay away from the Book of Exalted Deeds and the Vow of Poverty.
*Ark wouldn't touch BoVD or BoED with a 10-foot pole*
SRD said:
When using flurry of blows, a monk may attack only with unarmed strikes or with special monk weapons (kama, nunchaku, quarterstaff, sai, shuriken, and siangham). She may attack with unarmed strikes and special monk weapons interchangeably as desired. When using weapons as part of a flurry of blows, a monk applies her Strength bonus (not Str bonus x1-1/2 or x1/2) to her damage rolls for all successful attacks, whether she wields a weapon in one or both hands. The monk can’t use any weapon other than a special monk weapon as part of a flurry of blows.
In the case of the quarterstaff, each end counts as a separate weapon for the purpose of using the flurry of blows ability. Even though the quarterstaff requires two hands to use, a monk may still intersperse unarmed strikes with quarterstaff strikes, assuming that she has enough attacks in her flurry of blows routine to do so.