D&D 5E Help With Disruptive Players(?)

[BookBarbarian]

Getting mad might not be the proper term. I politely explain my reasoning. The monk agrees with me and says that the dm has final say but the cleric doesn’t like being wrong so she repeats herself over and over and sometimes starts like she’s about to cry.

Ah here we get to it.

You are under no obligation to psychoanalyze this person's "Not being able to be wrong" problem. However, it will be very difficult to continue DMing for this person if they can't rein this behavior in. It's just too disruptive.

If it were me I would have a private conversation with this person asking about the emotional behavior and why they feel they have to be right all the time, point out that they are among friends, and explain how it is ok to be wrong, in fact it's very interesting to be wrong sometimes as Characters that are never wrong are very boring, whether in books, tv, movies, or RPGs.

 

[Ahriri]

HOW old is this child ... erm, player? Sounds like a three-year-old.

You can break the 'about to cry' manipulation the same way you shut down a child who threatens "I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue!" You let him do it. And encourage him to keep holding his breath until he faints. The child will resume breathing as soon as he falls unconscious. A few minutes later, he will wake up. You then tell him "the answer is still No."

Similarly, if she breaks down in tears in frustration (because you aren't doing what she wants), and the game does not stop for her...

Of course, she might storm off for permanent. But I have a hard time saying that will be a bad thing for you.

Regardless of the result of this problem, start recruiting more people into your D&D group. Very likely, you will gain inadvertent allies when your original friends start acting like little kids.
You sound like you need some people around you who acknowledge and respect your authority as DM, to help bring the dis-respecters in line - for a fun time to be had by all. That isn't happening now.

Around... 23 or 24? Last I checked at least. I'm not good at remembering exact ages I just remember it was around there. I do my best not to give in. For the bat example, I remember I held my ground specifically because I was tired of her doing it every session. But I've been forced to appease her because there are only two players (the others left because they got too busy to keep joining). When she throws a fit, she refuses to communicate for the rest of the session and it makes things horribly awkward for me and the other player.

I've wanted to bring in more players but I'm not really sure how. We meet online since we don't live close enough to play in person anymore. Even though I've gotten used to DMing online, I'm not used to the online community or how to find players embarrasingly.

 

[Zardnaar]

I generally talk to them 1st, if their PCs are out of control end the campaign and start a new one. The players learn if they abuse the rules they are back to level 1 again. Use the default array in this scenario as well.

If you talk to them nicely and keep doing it try again, I allow 2-3 chances. If that does't work either boot them out or get a new group. Another option is ask one of them to DM so they can deal with it.

You're the DM you have to have some sort of authority(doesn't have to be strict as such).

1. Try to keep the rules abuse to a minimum, a little but is OK but not if its disruptive.

2. Basic etiquette, by this don't talk over the DM, don't be a douche bag etc.

I had a group of 6 players, 3 of them liked screwing around. They would use the class abilities to generally run away (Rogues, Monks), or if something like a Wizard use misty step to bounce around and spam cantrips basically doing sod all to contribute. Then other PCs starting dying because they were being stupid (putting 12's in primary attributes+ being pumpkins). I spoke to them twice about playing a bit properly (basically play as a team), did not work (some people don;t learn) so I ended the campaign there and then, walked out of the room and did something else (they left) and I did not invite 3 of them back (I let one come back as the problem was him + the other 2). We had a 6 person party and a light cleric on the front lines everyone else was running away or ranged PCs.

It may also be a new player thing I have seen some groups on teamspeak playing and yeah it is chalk and cheese compared to how we used to play in the 90's. If they spoke to the DM or each other like that back then the DM (probably me) would have physically hit them or the other players would have did it for me.

 

[Blue]

Flowchart!?!

This one?

 

[Sunseeker]

I have tried to talk to them. The monk just ignores my concerns. The cleric just goes on and on about how she hasn’t broken any rules so there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing.

Your "friends" sound like jerks.

Anyone who uses the argument "I didn't break any rules!" when confronted about their personal behaviour knows full well they're being a jerk, they just don't respect you enough to tone it down. And that's enough IMO to suggest you should simply close up your book and find better people to run games for.

 

[DRF]

I want to punch all your players in the face.

 

[Gardens & Goblins]

This one?

The hero we need.... !

 

[CubicsRube]

Being a dm is like being a director. You have to be assertive and tell people "this is how i want to run a game. You can chhoose to play be these rules or find another game". It might seem like being an , but its not. As a dm you put in more time orepping a gmae where most players just show up. So you have to be running a game you enjoy.

Now if you are a crappy dm, you'll use the space to be a tyrant and engage in your own power fantasy...and people will leave your game. But if you think about how you can make things fun for your players, you are not that type of dm.

In your situation i would tell them that im finishing the campaign and im going to run a new one, and here are the rules.

Remember that its much easier to find new players than a new dm.

 

[akr71]

I can't remember exactly how the amazing AC happened for both of them. One of them, during character creation one of the player's found a homebrew vampire that she wanted to run. It was my first campaign and I didn't want to ruin her fun by saying no. I made the mistake of not reading too into the homebrew she picked (I was so busy setting up everything else and didn't have the experience to realize my mistake). The homebrew had a built in feat that made the AC a combination of Charisma and Dexterity which she of course managed to start off with perfect scores in. She had a shield and mage armor and begged me to add in bracers of defense until I finally caved. I admit that part of it was me being overwhelmed in the beginning and, by the time I got the hang of things and realized my mistake, it felt like it was too late as she was saying how it would "ruin her character" if I took anything away.

This doesn't sound like a table of min/maxers - it sounds like a group of Monty Haul players. Wanting and expecting great stats and great items right out of the gate. Pretty hard to reign it in now - I think you need to restart.

I would respectfully suggest that a new DM limit characters to PHB classes and races, maybe add Xanathar's Guide if the player really wants. No special races, no homebrew, unless created by or in conjunction with the DM and magic items are found or earned. No freebies. It will give you the breathing room needed to find your style.

Also - you say these are all old friends from school. Do they treat you like that in real life? Not listening, badgering, bullying, etc - until you go along with what they want or give in to them?

 

[Christopher Olson]

Im sorry OP, I wish you had better players to play with. These people sound truly horrible.