Holiday Iron DM!!!! {Final Judgment Posted!}
- Thread starter el-remmen
- Start date
seasong
First Post
Hey incognito, I just critiqued your Home Game submission. Pretty good, overall, but I was a bit hard on some things 
.
As for the 500 word thing... I'd be interested to see how a 500 page summary & outline did against a magazine article length scenario. If nemmerle is serious about wanting the summary & outline, it's a good guideline, and a winning strategy!
.As for the 500 word thing... I'd be interested to see how a 500 page summary & outline did against a magazine article length scenario. If nemmerle is serious about wanting the summary & outline, it's a good guideline, and a winning strategy!
el-remmen
Moderator Emeritus
Since 3 pm Monday, I have been roaring drunk at a company x-mas party, drunkenly singing karaoke with co-workers at 2 am, driven up to Albany with the mother of all hangovers, saw Dave Matthews band, drove back, slept a few hours and then saw the Two Towers and then x-mas shopping. . .
I am back, but exhausted. . .
Sorry, but the judgement will have to wait ofr late tonight or by mid-day tomorrow. . .
But aside from that, all is well - thanks for the concern
I am back, but exhausted. . .
Sorry, but the judgement will have to wait ofr late tonight or by mid-day tomorrow. . .
But aside from that, all is well - thanks for the concern
el-remmen
Moderator Emeritus
KDladage vs. mirthcard - judgment
KDLadage vs. mirthcard – Round One – Judgment
Man, I am still recovering for three pretty crazy days. . .
Whew!
Anyway, I just have to begin by saying that Kdladage’s entry caused me some consternation. . . “Should I just immediately disqualify the entry because it kind of violates the spirit of the rules?” I mean, it isn’t really one adventure – but a series of encounters meant to be played out over the course of a larger campaign – which kind of circumvents the idea of making the ingredients work together by spreading them out over many levels.
But, in the end, I decided not to disqualify the entry right off the back – but in my mind I knew Kdladage would be working from a deficit –and entry would have to work hard to win.
Mirthcard’s entry begins weakly – I mean, the whole “someone approaches you in a tavern” thing has been done to death, came back as the cool “retro” thing to do and then died again – or at least it should have.
However, from there mirthcard’s entry really takes off and is quite impressive. The “need” for Jingquan to hide her true form from the party, and the likely confusion resulting from the nighttime korobokuru attack and her assuming her naga form should make for a great encounter in and of itself – but the unknown race again time to defeat the evil naga before she can create a simulacrum of the dragon was a excellent touch and works the ingredients together really well.
Kdladage’s entry, despite being sprawled out over a great period of time has a “rail-roading” feeling that I chafe against – while it is good to include suggestions as to how to handle “uncooperative” parties – it seems to me that the series of events are so far apart and heavy-handed as to be contrived – I think most players would go along “because it seems that is where the DM wants us to go.” In addition, the naga seems completely shoe-horned into the scenario – esp. after the effort to include the snake-skin clues throughout – that they are the skins of the naga offspring (why would they keep having offspring?) that he kills for his own amusement seems like a pretty thin motivation.
Finally, mirthcard’s explanation of the scroll of miracle – is better than Kdladage’s. Such a powerful object even though it is “only” a scroll – either needs a strong connection to the rest of the adventure – or a backstory in and of itself.
In the end, I have to give this round to mirthcard.
Kdladage, I admire you attempt to do something a little “different” – but in the end it really fell short of being a neatly tied together adventure.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now we move on to the semi-final round:
It will be Arwink vs. Quickbeam
And Wicht vs. mirthcard
Let me know when you are around.
KDLadage vs. mirthcard – Round One – Judgment
Man, I am still recovering for three pretty crazy days. . .
Whew!
Anyway, I just have to begin by saying that Kdladage’s entry caused me some consternation. . . “Should I just immediately disqualify the entry because it kind of violates the spirit of the rules?” I mean, it isn’t really one adventure – but a series of encounters meant to be played out over the course of a larger campaign – which kind of circumvents the idea of making the ingredients work together by spreading them out over many levels.
But, in the end, I decided not to disqualify the entry right off the back – but in my mind I knew Kdladage would be working from a deficit –and entry would have to work hard to win.
Mirthcard’s entry begins weakly – I mean, the whole “someone approaches you in a tavern” thing has been done to death, came back as the cool “retro” thing to do and then died again – or at least it should have.
However, from there mirthcard’s entry really takes off and is quite impressive. The “need” for Jingquan to hide her true form from the party, and the likely confusion resulting from the nighttime korobokuru attack and her assuming her naga form should make for a great encounter in and of itself – but the unknown race again time to defeat the evil naga before she can create a simulacrum of the dragon was a excellent touch and works the ingredients together really well.
Kdladage’s entry, despite being sprawled out over a great period of time has a “rail-roading” feeling that I chafe against – while it is good to include suggestions as to how to handle “uncooperative” parties – it seems to me that the series of events are so far apart and heavy-handed as to be contrived – I think most players would go along “because it seems that is where the DM wants us to go.” In addition, the naga seems completely shoe-horned into the scenario – esp. after the effort to include the snake-skin clues throughout – that they are the skins of the naga offspring (why would they keep having offspring?) that he kills for his own amusement seems like a pretty thin motivation.
Finally, mirthcard’s explanation of the scroll of miracle – is better than Kdladage’s. Such a powerful object even though it is “only” a scroll – either needs a strong connection to the rest of the adventure – or a backstory in and of itself.
In the end, I have to give this round to mirthcard.
Kdladage, I admire you attempt to do something a little “different” – but in the end it really fell short of being a neatly tied together adventure.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now we move on to the semi-final round:
It will be Arwink vs. Quickbeam
And Wicht vs. mirthcard
Let me know when you are around.
Similar Threads
