Holiday Iron DM!!!! {Final Judgment Posted!}
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Zappo
Explorer
I looked at Cavalry, Angry Halfling and Kazoos, and I immediately got a mental pictures of a horde of mounted Raging halfling barbarians, with some sort of epic music being played in the background. The fact that it was being played on the kazoo added a silly element that I found kinda funny. When the wild idea evolved into halfling valkyries being called by Wagner's music, I just couldn't get it out of my head - the look on the face of the kazoo player!
This implied some sort of large-scale battle, which in turn implied nation-scale resources, so I had the PCs being hired by a King to retrieve the magical kazoo. A classical go-and-take-the-item-in-the-dungeon quest, with a comedic low tone (a powerful halfling archmage?), a last-minute surprise, and a large scale final battle. No particular roleplaying ambitions, just fun.
The first big problem was designing an interesting dungeon. The ancient halfling house was a no brainer, but then I met the barrier: can't make a big dungeon in a short adventure. Can't even make a medium dungeon, not without going way too far from the ingredients. So I just figured what kind of creatures would make their lair in a cave and placed a den of wolves, and then went on to the big encounter. The hydra is fairly suitable as a "guardian of the artefact" creature. It is stupid and immediately hostile, and fairly predictable. So I had it be the stage boss, and specified that it could squeeze through the tunnels, though barely (fairly big snakes can crawl through fairly small tunnels, after all *cough*harrypotteranddachambaofsecrets*cough*). This also enabled the PCs to devise some tactics to help them against the high CR monster. Originally, it had a paragraph saying that it occasionally crawled away to get something to eat, and the wolves would cower in the bottom of their den, but I edited it out for brevity (is there anyone at all who actually respected the 500 words limit btw?).
At this point, while I already had an idea forming for the hat, I was completely stumped with the wishing well. The thought of a non-magical wishing well, which just sits in the middle of a village, and gets tossed some coins every now and then, never crossed my mind (besides, I wouldn't have known where to place it). But a well of wishes? You could make an entire adventure around a well of wishes. In fact, for all of five minutes I wanted to make the armies of two nations clash for the control of a real well of wishes. Nah, too powerful, better have it do something wishy but not too wishy. It had to be in a separate encounter, or in the dungeon. Again for brevity, I went for the dungeon. A wishing well in a halfling house, what could it do? I thought about The Hobbit and LOTR's big hobbit parties, and figured that a well which did something good for the wizard's guests would be appropriate. Plus, it was a pun on "wishing well", ya know, like, wishing well on someone, that sort. Hah. But yeah, in the end, it was hammered in.
On to the final bit. It wasn't trying to insert intrigue; the battle is imminent, no time for that. This is a mostly hack'n'slash adventure, make no mistake. What it was trying to do, is to set up a final surprise when everything seems to be going well. With a hat of disguise, the choice was between having an orcish spy, and having Riker be an orcish spy (I started out with Riker having a flamboyant hat, and refusing to take it away even in presence of the king, then decided against it). The unsurpassable problem here was: the hat only gives +10 to disguise. It isn't automatic. What if a PC notices it? Yeah, I could plan for it, but that would have made the whole thing a bunch longer. So, instead, I arranged things so that the orcish spy only had to fool NPCs. I rewrote three or four times the final bit, first having Riker kidnapped to come back later, then realizing that any orc would just kill him, then toying with the idea of having him resurrected, then having the king deliver the kazoo himself, then using a lieutenant, until I decided that the orc would not have even tried attacking the bard, and would just rely on speed instead. He would simply meet the lieutenant carrying the kazoo before Riker. This of course only gave him a few minutes before being discovered, which was just what I needed. The finale was easy then.
Odd enough, I don't see some of the flaws nemmerle pointed as big issues, but I dislike this scenario for other reasons. For example, the orc is standing on a hill, surrounded by mounted goblins, but the whole scene is near the King's encampment. No way he can escape, and the PCs aren't alone; any number of soldiers from the army can come to their help. The orc will die, provided that the PCs use their superior fighting ability to get to him quickly (before the horde arrives). Riker as I said was a problem, but I just needed him missing for a few minutes.
I completely agree on the dungeon, though. Being the meat of the adventure, it badly needed more encounters. As it stands, it looks like a D&D-the-movie dungeon. The well, intended to give a ooh-this-is-a-hobbit-home-full-of-friendliness feeling, fails miserably due to its lack of an explanation.
That, and that the aim of a funny/silly undertone was vastly missed. The final scene with the halfling valkyries and the music was completely non-interactive; if the adventure was a videogame, it would have been the ending full-screen video.
This implied some sort of large-scale battle, which in turn implied nation-scale resources, so I had the PCs being hired by a King to retrieve the magical kazoo. A classical go-and-take-the-item-in-the-dungeon quest, with a comedic low tone (a powerful halfling archmage?), a last-minute surprise, and a large scale final battle. No particular roleplaying ambitions, just fun.
The first big problem was designing an interesting dungeon. The ancient halfling house was a no brainer, but then I met the barrier: can't make a big dungeon in a short adventure. Can't even make a medium dungeon, not without going way too far from the ingredients. So I just figured what kind of creatures would make their lair in a cave and placed a den of wolves, and then went on to the big encounter. The hydra is fairly suitable as a "guardian of the artefact" creature. It is stupid and immediately hostile, and fairly predictable. So I had it be the stage boss, and specified that it could squeeze through the tunnels, though barely (fairly big snakes can crawl through fairly small tunnels, after all *cough*harrypotteranddachambaofsecrets*cough*). This also enabled the PCs to devise some tactics to help them against the high CR monster. Originally, it had a paragraph saying that it occasionally crawled away to get something to eat, and the wolves would cower in the bottom of their den, but I edited it out for brevity (is there anyone at all who actually respected the 500 words limit btw?).
At this point, while I already had an idea forming for the hat, I was completely stumped with the wishing well. The thought of a non-magical wishing well, which just sits in the middle of a village, and gets tossed some coins every now and then, never crossed my mind (besides, I wouldn't have known where to place it). But a well of wishes? You could make an entire adventure around a well of wishes. In fact, for all of five minutes I wanted to make the armies of two nations clash for the control of a real well of wishes. Nah, too powerful, better have it do something wishy but not too wishy. It had to be in a separate encounter, or in the dungeon. Again for brevity, I went for the dungeon. A wishing well in a halfling house, what could it do? I thought about The Hobbit and LOTR's big hobbit parties, and figured that a well which did something good for the wizard's guests would be appropriate. Plus, it was a pun on "wishing well", ya know, like, wishing well on someone, that sort. Hah. But yeah, in the end, it was hammered in.
On to the final bit. It wasn't trying to insert intrigue; the battle is imminent, no time for that. This is a mostly hack'n'slash adventure, make no mistake. What it was trying to do, is to set up a final surprise when everything seems to be going well. With a hat of disguise, the choice was between having an orcish spy, and having Riker be an orcish spy (I started out with Riker having a flamboyant hat, and refusing to take it away even in presence of the king, then decided against it). The unsurpassable problem here was: the hat only gives +10 to disguise. It isn't automatic. What if a PC notices it? Yeah, I could plan for it, but that would have made the whole thing a bunch longer. So, instead, I arranged things so that the orcish spy only had to fool NPCs. I rewrote three or four times the final bit, first having Riker kidnapped to come back later, then realizing that any orc would just kill him, then toying with the idea of having him resurrected, then having the king deliver the kazoo himself, then using a lieutenant, until I decided that the orc would not have even tried attacking the bard, and would just rely on speed instead. He would simply meet the lieutenant carrying the kazoo before Riker. This of course only gave him a few minutes before being discovered, which was just what I needed. The finale was easy then.
Odd enough, I don't see some of the flaws nemmerle pointed as big issues, but I dislike this scenario for other reasons. For example, the orc is standing on a hill, surrounded by mounted goblins, but the whole scene is near the King's encampment. No way he can escape, and the PCs aren't alone; any number of soldiers from the army can come to their help. The orc will die, provided that the PCs use their superior fighting ability to get to him quickly (before the horde arrives). Riker as I said was a problem, but I just needed him missing for a few minutes.
I completely agree on the dungeon, though. Being the meat of the adventure, it badly needed more encounters. As it stands, it looks like a D&D-the-movie dungeon. The well, intended to give a ooh-this-is-a-hobbit-home-full-of-friendliness feeling, fails miserably due to its lack of an explanation.
That, and that the aim of a funny/silly undertone was vastly missed. The final scene with the halfling valkyries and the music was completely non-interactive; if the adventure was a videogame, it would have been the ending full-screen video.
Quickbeam
Explorer
Post-Battle Exposition, Round #1
GRACE UNDER PRESSURE
First Impressions & Impulses:
** Immediately upon seeing the ingredients list, the mischievous toy maker and his animated cavalry of soldier/burglars sprang to mind...probably because of all the holiday shopping we've done of late. The other item that jumped off the page was the kazoo. It practically screamed annoying gnome bard, and was an easy tie in with the deceitful toy maker...someone who would reap great pleasure from convincing the naive, childlike bard that one kazoo was not nearly enough to properly render fitting performances. This may have been a sidelight as my story was eventually posted, but Nat Bundungle was there from the start. He was the comic relief for players and DM in the scenario.
** Dysphasia entered the picture early on also, mainly in tribute to a friend of mine who always includes some bizarre pschological or physiological trait for his PC's. I saw this as another opportunity for DM fun, and creative character investigation while piecing the puzzle together.
** The angry halflings were initially going to be a family with the great misfortune of living near Bundungle, constantly subjected to the noise of his poor kazoo playing and children's song festivals.
** The hydra was initially going to be a polymorphed creature that Grace himself was designing a Figurine to house permanently...but how does a cleric get such a beast in the first place? That stumped me for a while.
** The Wishing Well was originally gonna house Grace's stolen goods, but I didn't know how or why, and the Hat of Disguise was the wild card for me early on. What to do, what to do?
Development:
The more I fleshed out Grace (who seemed to be the focal character), the more his background and history evolved. I clearly saw a disfigured man who'd endured years of teasing and torment as a child, and desperately wanted to USE children as a means of furthering his own ends thereafter. This man was primarily raised by someone with their own axe to grind in life, someone who could offer him power and safe haven from the outside world in exchange for his blind devotion to faith. A little more thinking, and Grace's mentor became a rogue cleric who'd been made a refugee at the hands of halfling clerics wielding a powerful item. Something she would always remember, and teach her pupil to covet.
So Grace creates animated toys to satisfy his chaotic and mishievous bent, and much like the proprietor in Needful Things, makes certain that everyone (especially children) can afford his wares...to his ultimate benefit. The more I thought about these toys marching about, the more it made sense to have them move secretly, and cover of night was not enough. Thus were born the coal tunnels, and the hub above them covered by Gladwin's wishing well. That just left the polymorphed hydra and Hat of Disguise. I liked the idea of Grace not really being evil, just chaotic and a bit warped, and an evil wizard as the real villain took form. This wizard would form a pact (forced or voluntary) with Grace to help solve my ingredient dilemma, and present him with the means of hiding his grim visage.
The rest is just details
.
EDIT: Other notes...
I didn't like using dysphasia more than once -- it seemed forced at that point, and might have compromised an otherwise neat concept. Also, I agree with nemmerle that the story so totally revolves around roleplaying, that combat is essentially ignored. Sure the party might end up fighting the hydra or Malandoc, or both at the same time, but those events aren't guaranteed. The Xorn and Grace are designed to avoid conflict, leaving us with a lovely tale that doesn't pack much punch. And like my opponent Zappo, I was already so far past 500 words that squeezing anything else in would have been silly. Heck, as things stood I felt as though I were scimping on the background set up, not to mention specific combat encounters. And finally, look at my avatar -- I just HAD to include some kind of malevolent toys!!
GRACE UNDER PRESSURE
First Impressions & Impulses:
** Immediately upon seeing the ingredients list, the mischievous toy maker and his animated cavalry of soldier/burglars sprang to mind...probably because of all the holiday shopping we've done of late. The other item that jumped off the page was the kazoo. It practically screamed annoying gnome bard, and was an easy tie in with the deceitful toy maker...someone who would reap great pleasure from convincing the naive, childlike bard that one kazoo was not nearly enough to properly render fitting performances. This may have been a sidelight as my story was eventually posted, but Nat Bundungle was there from the start. He was the comic relief for players and DM in the scenario.
** Dysphasia entered the picture early on also, mainly in tribute to a friend of mine who always includes some bizarre pschological or physiological trait for his PC's. I saw this as another opportunity for DM fun, and creative character investigation while piecing the puzzle together.
** The angry halflings were initially going to be a family with the great misfortune of living near Bundungle, constantly subjected to the noise of his poor kazoo playing and children's song festivals.
** The hydra was initially going to be a polymorphed creature that Grace himself was designing a Figurine to house permanently...but how does a cleric get such a beast in the first place? That stumped me for a while.
** The Wishing Well was originally gonna house Grace's stolen goods, but I didn't know how or why, and the Hat of Disguise was the wild card for me early on. What to do, what to do?
Development:
The more I fleshed out Grace (who seemed to be the focal character), the more his background and history evolved. I clearly saw a disfigured man who'd endured years of teasing and torment as a child, and desperately wanted to USE children as a means of furthering his own ends thereafter. This man was primarily raised by someone with their own axe to grind in life, someone who could offer him power and safe haven from the outside world in exchange for his blind devotion to faith. A little more thinking, and Grace's mentor became a rogue cleric who'd been made a refugee at the hands of halfling clerics wielding a powerful item. Something she would always remember, and teach her pupil to covet.
So Grace creates animated toys to satisfy his chaotic and mishievous bent, and much like the proprietor in Needful Things, makes certain that everyone (especially children) can afford his wares...to his ultimate benefit. The more I thought about these toys marching about, the more it made sense to have them move secretly, and cover of night was not enough. Thus were born the coal tunnels, and the hub above them covered by Gladwin's wishing well. That just left the polymorphed hydra and Hat of Disguise. I liked the idea of Grace not really being evil, just chaotic and a bit warped, and an evil wizard as the real villain took form. This wizard would form a pact (forced or voluntary) with Grace to help solve my ingredient dilemma, and present him with the means of hiding his grim visage.
The rest is just details
.EDIT: Other notes...
I didn't like using dysphasia more than once -- it seemed forced at that point, and might have compromised an otherwise neat concept. Also, I agree with nemmerle that the story so totally revolves around roleplaying, that combat is essentially ignored. Sure the party might end up fighting the hydra or Malandoc, or both at the same time, but those events aren't guaranteed. The Xorn and Grace are designed to avoid conflict, leaving us with a lovely tale that doesn't pack much punch. And like my opponent Zappo, I was already so far past 500 words that squeezing anything else in would have been silly. Heck, as things stood I felt as though I were scimping on the background set up, not to mention specific combat encounters. And finally, look at my avatar -- I just HAD to include some kind of malevolent toys!!
Last edited:
arwink
Clockwork Golem
Exposition - Seems we only get together at weddings and funerals.
To be honest, it all came together out of lack of sleep and desperation. The only really strong ideas I had and liked was the love-sick treant and the image of a ruined clock tower rising out of a lake, and I think that shows in the submission. Everything else was just built around that somehow, and the natural progression of things was to have the river spirit as the object of his affection and the evil granmother lurking in her background. I looked back on my submission after I'd gotten some sleep, and immediately thought of a dozen or so ways I could make it clearer or better, but it just wasn't that kind of day...
The hardest thing to fit in was the Ring of Sustenance. I've decided that I hate that magic item with a passion, and plan to very nasty things to the next person who wants one in my games. I decided early on that I wanted to avoid fairy-tailisms as much as possible, and for a couple of hours I really resisted the idea of including a wedding in the scenario at all.
I did have another idea half-written that integrated the various ingredients in a different way, but it meant I had to let go of the treant encounter and I liked it too much for that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to clock up some sleep before the next round so I'm actually coherant when I put things together.
To be honest, it all came together out of lack of sleep and desperation. The only really strong ideas I had and liked was the love-sick treant and the image of a ruined clock tower rising out of a lake, and I think that shows in the submission. Everything else was just built around that somehow, and the natural progression of things was to have the river spirit as the object of his affection and the evil granmother lurking in her background. I looked back on my submission after I'd gotten some sleep, and immediately thought of a dozen or so ways I could make it clearer or better, but it just wasn't that kind of day...
The hardest thing to fit in was the Ring of Sustenance. I've decided that I hate that magic item with a passion, and plan to very nasty things to the next person who wants one in my games. I decided early on that I wanted to avoid fairy-tailisms as much as possible, and for a couple of hours I really resisted the idea of including a wedding in the scenario at all.
I did have another idea half-written that integrated the various ingredients in a different way, but it meant I had to let go of the treant encounter and I liked it too much for that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to clock up some sleep before the next round so I'm actually coherant when I put things together.
Mirth
Explorer
nemmerle said:I am going to try to get this last match judged by tonight some time - but I have a company x-mas party to go to and well, honestly, I plan to party like Andrew W.K.
Anyway, I will be away Tuesday/Wednesday, so in any event, round 2 will not begin until Thursday at the earliest (maybe Wednesday night if people are around).
I think I already know who won in this last match - it is just a matter of double-checking and writing it up.
It's not gonna be pretty. ..
So KD, do you think this means we have to wait until Thursday?
AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!
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