How Do You Curb Table Talk?

[Corinth]

If that works for you, great. For many of us, however, gaming is quite fun but mainly an excuse to spend time together away from work, wives, and responsibilities. It's not something that requires or deserves olympic-training type dedication. Anyone who came across with a hardline attitude like that around our group would be deemed a pompous ass not worth spending any time with.

Gaming is a hobby, not a pasttime; by definition, it requires both focus and dedication to perform properly. If all you want to do is pass the time with the boys, then do that and stop pretending that you actually want to play. Game time is for gaming, not for idle chit-chat.

A more productive approach that won't drive away your friends might be to allow for some reasonable amount of chit-chat, but encourage it to happen before & after the game session - you can facilitate that by scheduling a larger block of time than you really need for each session.

I have an even better idea: see the boys more often, so you won't need to do this when you schedule time to play. Here's another: use other methods of communication so that everyone knows all that everyone else wanted to yammer on about before the time comes. You have the technology, so you've no excuse for not taking care of this beforehand.

What works best for us is that chitchat and ooc discussion typically falls naturally into the frequent smoke-breaks initiated by our DM and a couple of players. Those of us who don't smoke enjoy tagging along for the chitchat, but we can also stay inside and work on our characters if need be.

This solves the problem, so long as it's reasonably done; adult gamers already have too little time to waste it when they actually get to play, so letting poor time management skills and old habits that no longer work whittle away at it is just plain wrong.

Problems among friends that you actually want to maintain as friends are better solved with a velvet glove than an iron fist.

But they're best solved by clothing the latter with the former, and then using it as soon as trouble arises.

 

[Bran Blackbyrd]

As a personal rule, I avoid talking tables at all costs.

 

[Joseph Elric Smith]

As a personal rule, I avoid talking tables at all costs.

I think that is a good policy
ken

 

[Pbartender]

Our group is fairly relaxed about chatting at the table. We spend a half an hour before hand to chat each up and get most of it out of our systems. Once the game begins, the DM simply waits quietly and patiently until the offenders start paying attention. When everything goes quiet except for that extraneous conversation and everyone else at the table is staring at you, it's pretty noticable.

Though here's the best suggestion I've heard to date... Every player at the table gets one "Call" per gaming session. If someone else says something out-of-character that is inappropriate to the situation, you may "Call" them on it. Their character then says it out loud in-game, and must reap the consequences. Players who "call" someone else in a particularly spectacular fashion may gain XP bonuses.

 

[Mark Chance]

Gaming is a hobby, not a pasttime

*cough!* *"Semantic quibble!"* *cough!*

If all you want to do is pass the time with the boys, then do that and stop pretending that you actually want to play.

Yeah! How dare you people not approach gaming in a way that is approved by others! For shame! For shame!

Game time is for gaming, not for idle chit-chat.

But, then again, in my house, idle chit-chat is part of gaming.

 

[PowerWordDumb]

Gaming is a hobby, not a pasttime; by definition, it requires both focus and dedication to perform properly. If all you want to do is pass the time with the boys, then do that and stop pretending that you actually want to play. Game time is for gaming, not for idle chit-chat.

Here's an idea: See a proctologist about getting that huge chunk of lumber removed from your posterior. D&D is about fun, not slavish devotion to chunking through adventures as fast as possible. If your playstyle encourages ghoulishly silent and orderly gameplay with no interruptions - enjoy! Other folks actually enjoy each other's company as much as the game itself.

I have an even better idea: see the boys more often, so you won't need to do this when you schedule time to play. Here's another: use other methods of communication so that everyone knows all that everyone else wanted to yammer on about before the time comes. You have the technology, so you've no excuse for not taking care of this beforehand.

For those of us who a) are grownups, b) have plenty of real-world responsibilities and commitments, and c) maybe don't all live in the same city but an average of 200km apart, that's such a realistic suggestion I can't thank you enough! Wow, you've solved our entire problem of getting people who live in four different cities with busy schedules a better way to get together. You should sell this stuff, cause it's pure gold, man! Geez, it takes us three weeks on average to schedule a mutually-workable game session, and all this time we should have just been arranging to get together more often! Yeah!

This solves the problem, so long as it's reasonably done; adult gamers already have too little time to waste it when they actually get to play, so letting poor time management skills and old habits that no longer work whittle away at it is just plain wrong.

Damn, do you do project managament and gantt charts in your spare time for amusement, or do you just balance your checkbook for the 17th time that day? Maybe when you get done doing your cost-benefit analysis of buying the 1-ply vs. the 2-ply toilet paper you'll see that the getting together is the primary value of a D&D session for some people, not the gameplay itself which is really just a fun excuse.

But they're best solved by clothing the latter with the former, and then using it as soon as trouble arises.

If it were actually trouble, then yes - there should be a conversation. As long as it's part of what everyone agrees to and enjoys, then any iron fists which get brandished will get stowed up the brandisher's posterior.

Look, run and play your game however you like, but don't make any silly declarations about how we should play ours. This "you're there to play, don't make any excuses" bull-hooey sounds like the strident declarations of a twelve year-old.

 

[Aluvial]

Yes, yes, let's play nice....

I appreciate the suggestions... I wish we played more often so that I could implement these right away.

I like the "Call" system. Is it really effective? I think that it could potentially work, at least 5 of the players are in my game to play (and have fun) and they may enjoy "calling" out a fellow and getting the "chatter-boxes" to eat their words a little.

In my game the chatter is a problem because I do have trouble laying down THE LAW with my freinds. We're all apparently there to have fun, so some chatter and talk is fine. I don't want a dry to the bone type of situation. I just need to curb the excessive out-of-character/game talking.

I'm thinking of having the players switch seats. I know this may sound weird (maybe not...) but these guys have been sitting in the same seats for years! Perhaps if I split up the talkers and put the main offenders between the good players, then I would have something to work with.

The idea to have a temporary split is a good one also, and potentially one I can pull off. I always loved the section on running the campaign with regards to time in the 1st edition DMG. I always imagined having an open door game policy where short one shot adventures were the order of the day and characters came and went during the week. One group gets three weeks of game time in, while the other group spends two days in a dungeon complex... meanwhile a third single adventurer is researching some formula that will take a year or more. All this happens in the space of one week of real time playing. Multiple characters.... ahh, a DM's dream.

Anyhow, I may just be able to solve the problem by sending them the link to this thread.

What do you guys think of that?

Aluvial

 

[Seonaid]

Look, run and play your game however you like, but don't make any silly declarations about how we should play ours.

And what, exactly, have you contributed to this discussion other than put-downs of other people's opinions?

This thread was a question by someone who happens to have a different desired playing style than (apparently) most of the people on the board, and it seemed to me, reading it, that most people gave him the "get over it" answer. He took it very well; I don't know that I'd be that nice about it.

 

[PowerWordDumb]

If you're looking for a friendly way to curb the table talk, then the Call system can be fun... if your friends enjoy the chance to really give each other problems from time to time and you're rat-bastardly enough to take advantage of the opportunities they give you it can be a real hoot.

As long as everyone in your group is cool with it, go ahead! The point from the beginning is it has to be a mutually-agreed thing. Unless you're running a game for complete strangers (which granted, some people do), then there's no room for dictatorships among friends. When it comes to the rules of the game, the DM has absolute discretion, but as to whether or not your friends want to play with you they obviously have a say.

Sounds like you'll deal with it in a sensible way, at any rate.

 

[Seonaid]

I'm thinking of having the players switch seats. I know this may sound weird (maybe not...) but these guys have been sitting in the same seats for years! Perhaps if I split up the talkers and put the main offenders between the good players, then I would have something to work with.

<snip>

Anyhow, I may just be able to solve the problem by sending them the link to this thread.

Switching seats might be highly effective. It always throws the people in my group (myself included) when someone sits in a different seat. You could initiate by starting yourself in an unusual spot. Unless you're really strict about what you need for DM'ing, you can sit pretty much anywhere too.

I think it would help; you all seem to have a good relationship, so even just seeing the thread might be useful for their recognition of the problem.

I hope all goes well!