As an example - A woman (or even a man) does not have to have a "problem with emotional regulation" to get really annoyed when an author engages in "fridging" female characters, or using rape as a way to substitute trauma for character depth.
I did not state otherwise, I certainly get annoyed myself by those tropes - but its a difference for me if you stop reading these because these are just bad writing practices or if you get an overwhelming emotional response because of that. I was talking about the latter. But I have the feeling I am at the limit of my language barrier here (English is not my native language) and I seem to fail to bring my intention across. I edited my first post to hopefully make my intention clearer but I will expand here:
I hope my main point is at least clear: It is in my eyes impossible to put feeling aside when reading and either are able to handle them or you don't. If you NEVER can read any book that handles for example a political position that is contrary to yours, because it makes you too mad - that is a sign to me that you are not able to handle your feelings in a good way. Even worse if its not clearly the author but just a character.
For example I've just recently read "The Secret History" and afterwards did a little deep dive in reddit discussions. I've read multiple times that readers disliked the book or couldn't finish the books, because they hated the characters so much. Not because they were badly written, but because their fictional actions and statements made the blood of these readers boil so much.
Its clear though that the author did not share the sentiments of her characters, the whole story is a critique of the academic context and bubble these characters live in. They also made me angry, because they are supposed so. Emotional regulation is not about not feeling these emotions, but about validating them, accepting them, and moving on.
I might also add that I don't mean this as any sort of negative qualifier and judgement of persons who might happen to do that. Being overwhelmed by emotions and not being able to handle them is completely normal and common and happens to almost everybody at some point and some situations. For me its not when I read, but certaintly when I talk to my mother. And when someone doesn't want to read something because it makes them too mad - thats perfectly fine. But the main root is that they are not handling their emotions, at least for that topic and that medium.
I know I am walking on eggshells here because certain political parties use similar phrasings to discredit other political parties because they are getting "triggered too much" etc. - I am not a supporter of these stances at all.
