Do you play with friends? Are these people who know you well, hang out with you on a regular basis?
If so, they really ought to trust you enough as DM to know that you aren't deliberately trying to screw them over.
The argument "if the DM can use it, the players can use it" is hogwash. Pure and utter. Sometimes, the story requires that the villains have access to strange and alien powers. A wizard communing with a Cthulhu-like creature from the Far Realm should have powers and spells unknown to the PCs. The 5,000-year-old lich who seeks to control all magic should have access to artifacts the PCs have never heard of, and have no idea how to use. Sorcerers from far-off lands, cultures foreign to the PCs, should have spells the PCs have never heard of--and, in turn, should never have heard of some of the PCs' spells.
So long as it's all done in good faith, to serve the needs of the story, and so long as the PCs still have a fair shot of defeating the villain, there's nothing wrong with that. I have never played with anyone incapable of acknowledging that fact--and I don't think I'd ever be willing to do so. I don't play "DM vs. player." I don't introduce new or strange aspects for the sole purpose of pummeling the PCs. I do it because it makes sense for the villain, monster, character, or story at hand. Someone who won't trust me to do what I must to make the game and the story the best they can be, someone who throws a fit if an NPC ever shows signs of an ability or spell the PCs don't have, is not someone I would care to run a game for.