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How many were abused due to their love of D&D, RPGs, and related items when they were young?
- Thread starter GreyLord
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Mod Note:
Cool threadcrap, bro.
Next time, if you want to give content-free dismissal, take it to twitter. I hear they eat it up over there.
Yeah, that is a horrifying story but sadly I believe it’s still one that can occur today. I have two neighbors on our street that do not let their kids go out for Halloween to Trick or Treat because they actually believe it opens their children up to possession by demons. And we’re not even in a deeply conservative area of our state. We may laugh off the Satanic Panic today but there’s likely still a substantial number of people who think D&D is witchcraft.
R_J_K75
Legend
As @Clint_L said, I was a latchkey kid too. We pretty much had the run of the neighborhood, spent a lot of time home alone, and came and went as we pleased from a very early age.
My parents weren't very religious, but I do remember going to church on Sundays when I was very young. When I was about 5 or 6, I told them that I didn't want to go to church anymore as I thought it was boring and it didn't make sense to me, so they said OK, you don't have to go anymore. This was probably 1981 when times were extremely different. They just let me stay home alone while them and my brothers went after that. I was first introduced to D&D in 1982 by my father when he took me to a friend of his house who had started playing, and he bought me my first basic box set shortly after. Both my parents had no problem with me playing. Through grammar school, high school and into college I was never bullied for playing or even made fun of that I recall. A friend of mine once jokingly said that if I put as much effort into school that I did playing D&D I would be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon. Overall, I was very fortunate to never have any negative experiences from playing the game.
The only instance I recall was when I was in 5th or 6th grade, we had a substitute teacher for a day. When she saw me reading a D&D book after I finished our assignment, she said to me, "I hate that game with a purple passion, put them away and if I see them again, I will take them", I laughed and replied, "Good luck, I'd like to see you try". My takeaway from that was, A) there's a reason you're a substitute teacher, and B) I bet she was blindly following the "D&D is bad" mindset that was popular at the time, and probably had just watched a segment on 20/20, but didn't know why she hated the game or understood one thing about it.
My parents weren't very religious, but I do remember going to church on Sundays when I was very young. When I was about 5 or 6, I told them that I didn't want to go to church anymore as I thought it was boring and it didn't make sense to me, so they said OK, you don't have to go anymore. This was probably 1981 when times were extremely different. They just let me stay home alone while them and my brothers went after that. I was first introduced to D&D in 1982 by my father when he took me to a friend of his house who had started playing, and he bought me my first basic box set shortly after. Both my parents had no problem with me playing. Through grammar school, high school and into college I was never bullied for playing or even made fun of that I recall. A friend of mine once jokingly said that if I put as much effort into school that I did playing D&D I would be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon. Overall, I was very fortunate to never have any negative experiences from playing the game.
The only instance I recall was when I was in 5th or 6th grade, we had a substitute teacher for a day. When she saw me reading a D&D book after I finished our assignment, she said to me, "I hate that game with a purple passion, put them away and if I see them again, I will take them", I laughed and replied, "Good luck, I'd like to see you try". My takeaway from that was, A) there's a reason you're a substitute teacher, and B) I bet she was blindly following the "D&D is bad" mindset that was popular at the time, and probably had just watched a segment on 20/20, but didn't know why she hated the game or understood one thing about it.
Blue
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
I was an introvert. A game that got me meeting and interacting with other kids was seen as a positive. My mom would drive me to the store to buy D&D books (with my money) and would also get me them for me on birthdays and Christmas. And this was before she knew how much math was in it.
(Side note: I had a Probability and Statistics course in university where everything they taught us I already knew because I was a min/maxer as a teen and needed to understand it. Got a perfect 100 in that class.)
OP's friend absolutely suffered abuse at the hands of their parents. Burning things they bought with their own money. Refusing to fully provide for a child. Not cool at all. Doing it in the name of religion never excuses abuse of any sort.
(Side note: I had a Probability and Statistics course in university where everything they taught us I already knew because I was a min/maxer as a teen and needed to understand it. Got a perfect 100 in that class.)
OP's friend absolutely suffered abuse at the hands of their parents. Burning things they bought with their own money. Refusing to fully provide for a child. Not cool at all. Doing it in the name of religion never excuses abuse of any sort.
Ralif Redhammer
Legend
Our parents (as I've mentioned before, I have a twin brother) encouraged gaming as a way to expand our math skill, reading, creativity, and socialization. They didn't necessarily understand it entirely, but they saw that it had positive effects.
Later on as teenagers, our parents didn't care a bit about us going goth. Dad took a dim view of our musical ability with the band, but he encouraged us to keep at it (just a little quieter). I did have a friend whose mom burnt and threw out any of her goth stuff she found. Let us say that gave that person a ton of trauma that came out in different ways.
Some of this stuff is truly horrible in hindsight. Yet if you asked those parents, I bet most would say that they acted for the good of their children. And one of the huge dangers in life is people saying that they are doing good, without thinking about whether they are being kind.
Later on as teenagers, our parents didn't care a bit about us going goth. Dad took a dim view of our musical ability with the band, but he encouraged us to keep at it (just a little quieter). I did have a friend whose mom burnt and threw out any of her goth stuff she found. Let us say that gave that person a ton of trauma that came out in different ways.
Some of this stuff is truly horrible in hindsight. Yet if you asked those parents, I bet most would say that they acted for the good of their children. And one of the huge dangers in life is people saying that they are doing good, without thinking about whether they are being kind.
Joshua Randall
Legend
What's weird is -- has any parent ever had success by burning a kid's things and telling them 'no'? That is going to make the kid WANT TO DO IT MORE.
Celebrim
Legend
My parents and I had a spirited disagreement about it for about 2 or 3 hours. I think this is the first time I can remember defying my parents. They asked my opinion as was usual, they didn't like it this time and it was about me this time, and they set to trying to convince me I was wrong. I was like 13 and had an IQ several standard deviations above normal and read voraciously. The debate was both intellectual and heated. In the end, I like Galileo conceded but also didn't concede. The books got burned.
But abuse? No. It wasn't abuse. My dad's cousin his age he grew up with committed suicide and D&D/occult was considered by the family to have played a role in his mental health problems. Dad was just trying to do what he thought was best to protect his family, and honestly the argument turned more on my little brother's behavior than on mine (because my brother at the time was acting out some of his own frustrations). I think Dad was wrong but I don't think that was abuse. He was acting on the information he had available to him at the time out of good intent with respect to me as a person. That wasn't always the case with my parents, but it was vastly more often than not, and as a parent, no parent or person is perfect.
It's nigh 40 years later and my Dad played D&D with me as the DM at Christmas, because well, both me and the little brother turned out OK after all.
But abuse? No. It wasn't abuse. My dad's cousin his age he grew up with committed suicide and D&D/occult was considered by the family to have played a role in his mental health problems. Dad was just trying to do what he thought was best to protect his family, and honestly the argument turned more on my little brother's behavior than on mine (because my brother at the time was acting out some of his own frustrations). I think Dad was wrong but I don't think that was abuse. He was acting on the information he had available to him at the time out of good intent with respect to me as a person. That wasn't always the case with my parents, but it was vastly more often than not, and as a parent, no parent or person is perfect.
It's nigh 40 years later and my Dad played D&D with me as the DM at Christmas, because well, both me and the little brother turned out OK after all.
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I was lucky. I grew up with very religious parents, but they were also open minded. My father was a wargamer of the old hex and counter style and got me into gaming. I was always interested in d&d, watched the cartoon a bit, when my parents weren't up yet on Saturday mornings, though they told me not to, and was intrigued by the stacks of dnd books at the game stores when my dad took me to them. One day while we were out shopping my mom went to some other store while my dad and I went to waldenbooks and I saw the red box basic set on clearance because the dice has been taken out of it, convinced my dad to get it and whoo boy was that a fight when my mom found out. I got to keep it but never really got a chance to play it with anyone. I fought Bargle solo so many times though... i wound up buying a few other rpgs in the mean time, toon, gurps... still had no one to play with though. Fast forward to high school, and I found a group of friends that played, and my mom was skeptical but kept an open mind.
She had me check out the 2e phb from the library so she could read through it, which she did cover to cover over a few days and she finally said "sure, I have no idea what the big deal is, there's nothing troublesome in here" and that was the end of it, I got the go ahead to buy my own phb and I haven't stopped playing since. Unfortunately in school I got a lot of crap about it, had one girl I liked tell me i needed to burn all my books to save my soul, and she wouldn't talk to me until I did. In front of her. That never happened. Had a good friend I played a game or two with tell me he couldn't play anymore because it was evil and I couldn't hang out with him anymore because I probably didn't have a soul anymore. That stung a bit but it was par for the course in Texas in the 90s...
She had me check out the 2e phb from the library so she could read through it, which she did cover to cover over a few days and she finally said "sure, I have no idea what the big deal is, there's nothing troublesome in here" and that was the end of it, I got the go ahead to buy my own phb and I haven't stopped playing since. Unfortunately in school I got a lot of crap about it, had one girl I liked tell me i needed to burn all my books to save my soul, and she wouldn't talk to me until I did. In front of her. That never happened. Had a good friend I played a game or two with tell me he couldn't play anymore because it was evil and I couldn't hang out with him anymore because I probably didn't have a soul anymore. That stung a bit but it was par for the course in Texas in the 90s...
Celebrim
Legend
One of the reasons you got lucky is that by the time of 2e TSR had decided to adopt the Comic Book Code in all their publications. If TSR had done that in the first place, there never would have been a big problem. But early TSR art was both soft pornographic at times and occult. TSR removed all the occult religious references from early D&D material as well (Belial, Beelzebub, Baal, etc.) You also would have been entering after the worst of the Satanic Panic blew over, as it started coming out publicly that a lot of the people behind it weren't what you'd call excellent moral examples and had not been truthful.
I lived through the Satanic Panic in Texas myself. My parents are Catholics (as am I), and many of my older relatives were very religious- including a great aunt who was a nun. I went to a private HS run by Catholic monks. On paper, I’d seem like a prime candidate for some kind of overreaction to my playing D&D and a growing interest in heavy metal.
But even though my parents had concerns, they did NOT give into the hysteria. They trusted me- and not all of my relatives did. Nothing was ever confiscated or thrown away.
Even more surprisingly, I started an RPG club at my school that played on-site and had a faculty monitor (like all the clubs). The only manifestation of the Satanic Panic at my school was from the art teacher who became a Born Again Christian. He went from playing the best of the best New Wave tapes on his boom box during class to giving those cassettes away and playing New Age music instead.* But beyond the occasional comment like, “I see Satan in your works, _______.” directed at my D&D/fantasy art pieces, he never let his opinion of the condition of my soul affect my grades or our relationship, which remains avuncular to this day. (He still teaches at that school, too.)
But I DID see & hear what was going on in the rest of America regarding RPGs & metal at the time, so I generally don’t let my interests in either one be part of anyone’s first impressions of me. (Outside of the obvious contexts where that might occur naturally.)
* I like New Age too, but I was bummed I didn’t get any of the tapes he ditched.
But even though my parents had concerns, they did NOT give into the hysteria. They trusted me- and not all of my relatives did. Nothing was ever confiscated or thrown away.
Even more surprisingly, I started an RPG club at my school that played on-site and had a faculty monitor (like all the clubs). The only manifestation of the Satanic Panic at my school was from the art teacher who became a Born Again Christian. He went from playing the best of the best New Wave tapes on his boom box during class to giving those cassettes away and playing New Age music instead.* But beyond the occasional comment like, “I see Satan in your works, _______.” directed at my D&D/fantasy art pieces, he never let his opinion of the condition of my soul affect my grades or our relationship, which remains avuncular to this day. (He still teaches at that school, too.)
But I DID see & hear what was going on in the rest of America regarding RPGs & metal at the time, so I generally don’t let my interests in either one be part of anyone’s first impressions of me. (Outside of the obvious contexts where that might occur naturally.)
* I like New Age too, but I was bummed I didn’t get any of the tapes he ditched.
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