Wonger said:
Lets face it, ladies and gentlemen: no matter how social an activity we know it to be, no matter how much fun it is, there is something very geeky about several adults going into a basement and rolling dice and playing with miniatures talking in strange voices. Do your co-workers really need to know, too? Playing D&D IS geeky. Period. Accept it, and be happy, but don't make altruistic statements about people judging you as if they have no right - going in a basement and playing with mini's and drinking a gallon of Dew while getting excited about a 20, IS a strange thing for an adult to do! Don't get mad at someone for thinking so, because they are right.
Hmmm. Yes. I guess it is geeky. But I also think that the hobbies of a lot of the people I know are "geeky". I have a friend who frequently plays rollerhockey in his front yard with his friends (they are all about 28 years old). It makes them happy but it is kind of odd. I work with this obnoxious, pretentious woman (whom I can't stand) who seriously talks all the time about her pretentious art films and her pretentious performance art (involing her painting herself with paint and making zoo animal sounds on stage to drumming music). I think that is the epitome of GEEK. Yet she thinks I'm "weird" because I like fantasy. I don't get particulalry mad at her (she's not worth it) but really, everyone has something in their life that is "geeky" in it's own right. If they don't , they must be pretty dull people.
And regarding the post about embarassing in front of women - come on people, be realistic. If you are talking to an attractive person in a bar, meeting them for the first time, that last thing you need to ruin the mood is try to explain this very odd, wonderful hobby of ours. Most non gamers, even after sitting in on a session, just don't get it - they may have no problem with you playing, but they usually won't get it, just like some people don't get the appeal of baseball or other certain activities. Why ruin a perfectly good dating oppurtunity just to evangalize D&D?!?
Well, it's been a while since I have been single, but lets just say I was. I would not ditch my gaming group on a friday or saturday night to go out with some guy, first of all. My friends come first. Sorry. Ain't gonna happen.
And no, I don't think you should be evangelical about it withing 30 minutes of meeting someone, but why hide a major hobby of yours from someone you are potentially going to pursue an intimate relationship with? Do you want someone who would judge you?
I sure wouldn't.
If I should ever become single again, and I meet someone and he asks what I do for fun, D&D will be on that list and if he feels he does not want to spend time with me because of it...so be it. In fact, if I were looking at online dating sites, I'd probably use RPG as a search when looking up someone's hobbies.
I don't want to be with a judgemental person who can't accept me for who I am. I would not go off on a long tangent upon first meeting someone about what D&D is if they didn't know. But if they ask me what my hobbies are, I'm not going to lie or leave something off that is a big part of my spare time.
I don't get the appeal of baseball, but if I met someone who told me he was a diehard baseball fan, and I thought we had other things in common, I certainly would not be judgemental of him. Trust me, if some girl (or guy, ladies) is going to react negatively to you or turn you away for a date because you listed D&D as a hobby, they are probably (now I know there are exceptions) not someone you will have a very good relationship with.
Balance people. Some balance in your life...I recommend it. I limit my geek activities to D&D and being a Star Wars and LotR freak. Any more than three or four, and gaming defines you rather than you enjoy gaming. If you play D&D, Magic, LARP, computer games, and wargames while watching Frodo scale Mount Doom, you will not have time for a life outside your gaming click - and aren't most of these people ranting about judgements the ones that hate cliques and falling into a cookie cutter mold?
Hmmmm. I limit my "geek activities" to whatever I feel like. Gaming does not define me, just as my other hobbies and interests and music I like and things I own do not define me. I WISH I had time to do all things you listed there , but I don't. I have quite a nice life outside of gaming and "geek" stuff. As do most of the people who post here and who I know who game IRL. I have gaming friends (whom I wish I had more time to spend with outside of gaming) and non gaming friends, and a great family (all of whom think gaming is kinda nifty). People should do what makes them happy.
I don't mind cliques. Cliques are just a natural part of society. People who have stuff in common tend to stick together. I eat lunch every day with the same two people. Some might say we're a clique.
I appreciate the levity in your post but I had to comment on these few things.
