How to avoid RPG dumpster fires like the Far Verona controversy


What's appropriate at the gaming table is decided at the gaming table.

There's nothing wrong with depicting any degree of graphic sexual violence, or any other uncomfortable subject matter, at the gaming table... as long as every participant has given their informed consent beforehand, and the game stops when any participant's enjoyment of the game stops.

That's not what happened here, and it's the biggest point that edgelords tend to overlook.
Exactly, this has always been my perspective. In my games, I may not include sexual violence, but I do include elements of extreme gore, dark philosophical themes, suicidal NPCs, and extremely bloody and dark descriptions. Yet, although I am often one who pushes back against "Political Correctness" and "artificial social mechanisms", even I must admit that I have never had the heart to be so callous as to not ask my players whether they're comfortable with certain themes, mostly because I try my best to not be a jerk.

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Who the frell includes those kinds of scenes in a tabletop game? What is this FATAL or something?

More seriously, any decent game requires good communications skills and trust between players and GM. No amount of X Cards or any other gaming tools can make up for lacking that.

Also , it used to be best practice to never de-protaganize a player without asking, killing them is fine, capturing if its the escape is fun that kind of thing but permanently breaking a charterer concept or enging in really messed up behavior just wasn't done. I'm not sure how anyone missed the memo but maybe the hobby changed a bit.

Now some games can be inherently sexual in context, Gor, Wraethu and a shocking amount of Vampire has explicit or implicit materials that can upset some folks. Best to ask first and be upfront with intentions. I've seen a few games , hell Vampire's Giovanni Chronicles I think just fail from the squick factor

Heck be upfront with what kind of game it is period . Low RP tactical D&D is not roleplaying focused. in that matter honesty is the best policy

On a personal note I had a player who had been the victim of some nasty stuff and she to her massive credit asked us not to include that sort of thing.

I never do, my games are pretty PG13 at worst but her honesty would help make any group she gamed with better.

No one else did either so it was moot but it was brave and I respected the heck of of that.

Its understandable if someone who was victimized didn't want to mention it, there are tons of good reasons for that but if the GM and group wants to go ugly , it needs to be brought up first. Do that and you are well onto a better game.

Oh and yeah, don't invite me. I'm PG 13 plus cussing at worst.


The OP's point about consent in gaming is predicated on the idea that it is an inherently dangerous activity one which I vehemently disagree with.

Happily, nobody but you has actually presented this idea, or even suggested that gaming is "inherently dangerous" in a manner than other social interaction isn't.

I'm still not following the comparison to football at all, regardless of where it's played.

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