How to deal with spotlight hogs

[Mordane76]

In my game, I have a player who is normally very quiet and disconnected; I know his interests occasionally lie elsewhere. However, when he is engaged in the game, he takes pains to hog the spotlight by bogging gameplay -- he'll take forever to look up his modifiers after rolls, he take hours to make decisions in town, and purposefully will split from the group (when it is neither appropriate or necessary) while we're in towns to do something other than what the group is doing.

I like this player -- he's one of my room-mates. When he's engaged in the game and not pulling this crap, he's genuinely useful, resourceful, and fun to have in the group. But when he's pulling this crap, he's pissing off everyone in the group, not just me.


How do I deal with a problem player who's not always a problem player?

 

[Crothian]

While he's looking things up, go to some one else. When he splits from the party, just sum up his encounters and don't role play them.

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Myself and randomling both know a player like this. He's a nice guy, but he does all the things you mention.

We have both decided that we've had enough, and we're not gaming with him any more. It's a shame, but he doesn't look like changing, so we decided to move on.

But in your case, I'd go with Crothian's advice. Or have a real good chat with him and ask him about it.

 

[Mordane76]

The problem with bringing it to his attention is that I still have to live with him for another 8 months if things go sour. The problem prevades non-gaming interactions with him as well ---> he's kinda bipolar like that.

He can be very self-oriented and domineering in his out-of-gaming interactions, as well, and I'm a little impulsive... and I have a few anger management issues...

It could turn ugly. I don't really wanna have him pop off and then I break his nose ---> it almost happened in a session about a year ago, when he said something and I ended the session right there because I was going to kill him in front of witnesses, no less...

 

[diaglo]

have someone else in the group tell him how they feel when he does his thing.

 

[maddman75]

Looking up modifiers - start counting down from six. If you get all the way down and he hasn't done his thing, go onto the next person and come back to him.

Going off by himself - Explain that this is suicidal. I mean its okay to scout, as long as you have some backup near at hand. But going off by yourself is a quick path to an early grave. And if he persists, demonstrate that this is true.

 

[Mordane76]

How did you go about separating yourselves from this player, Tallarn? Do you still have OOG contact with him?

 

[der_kluge]

People in my games that end up leaving the rest of the party to do their own thing, end up dying horrible deaths.

 

[barsoomcore]

Death may be a little extreme.

I kinda have a group of these people. Not really, but there's definitely a couple like that. It can be huge pain for me as a DM to handle. I took a two-pronged approach.

First off, I spoke to the person privately and explained that their behaviour was costing me a great deal of effort and time. I pointed out that it made it harder for me to maintain flow and suspense, and that them going off by themselves put me in the position of having to run essentially two campaigns simultaneously. Which I don't have time to do. I said that if they really felt their character would behave like this, maybe the best thing to do was to retire the character and come up with a more "party-friendly" type. What actually happened was that he and I sat down and spent a couple of afternoons working out some house rules and background material for his character. He's much happier now.

Secondly, I spoke to the group. I asked them, in public and in front of the particular player, if they minded when sometimes PCs went off on their own and took up my attention. My concern was to find out to what degree it was bothering them, but of course one of my aims was to get the player in question listening and realising that their behaviour was affecting the other players -- without them getting accused and therefore becoming all defensive and angry. It also served as a lesson to all the players, helping to remind them that the game is best when everyone's having fun, not just them. Sometimes that's easy to forget.

In general, I don't find punishment works very well. Not with my dog, not with my friends. It's a bad way to teach and/or train people. Positive reinforcement, an environment where everyone feels secure and plain old honesty work much better (and provide a more thorough solution) nine times out of ten.

Except with mimes. Mimes, you gotta beat to death. I mean, seriously.