Hida Bukkorosu said:
i'm that loose, and I don't drink
i'd be perfectly willing to do someone i didn't know, as long as i was attracted to her.
Then go pay a prostitute.
I'm going to give you some tough love here, because I think you need it. (I haven't read every single post, so I may be repeating advice given elsewhere. If that's the case, sorry!)
The more you have said about yourself, about what you want, about your "matrix", the questions about how long to hold eye contact, the more convinced I have become that you *are* being creepy.
If you are attending a coed college or university, then you are around many women every day. Either you are invisible to them, or you are creeping them out, or you are doing something to rebuff them when they initiate conversation with you.
If it's the first, you need to look to your physical attributes. Do you bathe? Brush your teeth and comb your hair? Wear clothes that fit? Are you hundreds of pounds overweight? If you are guilty of poor hygiene, sloppiness or obesity, then that's where you need to start fixing yourself. And hey, don't do this for women, do it for yourself. Nobody is going to hire you after you graduate if you smell bad or dress like a pig. And if you're hugely fat, you'll die young. (Also, if you're hugely fat, you probably don't smell so good. Sorry, but it's true.)
So, what if all that stuff is ok, but you're creeping them out? Obviously you are concerned that this is the case. I'm afraid that I must suggest you seek counselling. Most people learn social behaviors automatically as they grow up, and have mastered things like eye contact, body language, personal space and so forth before they hit puberty. The reason it's hard for people to tell you how to do this stuff correctly is because the vast majority of folks never thought about it, they just picked it up. If you are one of the tragic few who didn't, you need to find out what's wrong with you. Seriously. I'm not saying you're rotten or anything, but something is wrong, and you need to fix it.
Ok, so what if women actually have tried to befriend you, and you rebuffed them without knowing it? In this case, maybe you're painfully shy, or maybe you're missing cues (of a different sort than I mentioned in the paragraph above) that other people learn automatically. Again, I'd suggest counselling.
Lots of people have told you to be yourself, to act natural. I'll add that you should stop over-intellectualizing your problem. Don't think, just be. People who make friends easily don't think about every word they're going to say ahead of time--they just wing it. If you want to enjoy life, you need to learn to do that. Be in the moment. Let it happen.
See, if you're obsessing about "hitting on girls" then you aren't going to be spontaneous. That's why I think you should just go pay a prostitute to get your first experience out of the way. Actually, as clinical as you're being about the whole thing, I'm sort of surprised this hasn't already occurred to you.
Final note. If they're over 18, they aren't girls. If you think hitting on them is a good idea, then you need to stop thinking of them as walking sources of your sexual satisfaction and remember they're just as human as you are, each one unique. You won't get respect if you don't give it.
