How to tell a friend's girlfriend to get a job or something?

[The_Universe]

(2) Am I the only one who's put out by all those replies that, even in jest, speculate about having sex with this young woman?

Put out though you may be, you can bet your bottom dollar that it (or something VERY NEARLY "it") is happening. This guy is serious enough with a 17 year old young woman that they're LIVING together - clue 1 that something is happening. I have my doubts that they're waiting till her 18th birthday to move past holding hands into heavier territory, but if it helps you sleep at night, believe what you have to.

EDIT: And it could be much worse. I had a buddy in college (22 or 23 at the time, I believe) that found out the girl he'd almost moved in with (who'd told him at first that she was 21, then 20, then 18)...was only 15!!! He broke it off right away, but even after, he'd hold his head in hands and mutter, "I'm going to get arrested, I'm going to get arrested, jailbait, jailbait..." over and over again.

 

[nerfherder]

(2) Am I the only one who's put out by all those replies that, even in jest, speculate about having sex with this young woman?

Possibly not, but I don't understand why you're put out? Is it because of her age? The age of consent is 15 in Denmark where the OP is from and 16 where I'm from, so it doesn't seem odd to me. Or did you mean something else.

Cheers,
Liam

 

[WizarDru]

(2) Am I the only one who's put out by all those replies that, even in jest, speculate about having sex with this young woman?

Sheesh.

I was at College before I was 18...and I assure you I wouldn't have hesitated to have slept with a 23 year-old grad student if such an opportunity presented itself. While it's certainly not legal for a few months, I think it's a tad naive to assume that young men and women don't have sex until they're legally allowed to do so, any more than it should suprise anyone that some teens find access to alcohol and other substances far sooner than the law allows. There's a reason that sex education classes are taught in high school....that was true 20 years ago, and it's true today.

If their genders were reversed, would you have a different opinion of the matter?

Really, my main concern as a parent would be that a 17 year-old is living outside the house with a 23 year-old.

nerfherder, in the United States, the age of consent is 18. Under that age, I believe it's considered statutory rape, regardless of the nature of the sexual contact (i.e. regardless of whether it's consensual, her parents could press charges if they had proof). However, I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know if that's determined at the state-level or federal level.

 

[The_Universe]

I was at College before I was 18...and I assure you I wouldn't have hesitated to have slept with a 23 year-old grad student if such an opportunity presented itself. While it's certainly not legal for a few months, I think it's a tad naive to assume that young men and women don't have sex until they're legally allowed to do so, any more than it should suprise anyone that some teens find access to alcohol and other substances far sooner than the law allows. There's a reason that sex education classes are taught in high school....that was true 20 years ago, and it's true today.

If their genders were reversed, would you have a different opinion of the matter?

Really, my main concern as a parent would be that a 17 year-old is living outside the house with a 23 year-old.

nerfherder, in the United States, the age of consent is 18. Under that age, I believe it's considered statutory rape, regardless of the nature of the sexual contact (i.e. regardless of whether it's consensual, her parents could press charges if they had proof). However, I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know if that's determined at the state-level or federal level.

The age of consent is state-based, not federal.

 

[IcyCool]

Yeah, I know this girl. Well, if she gets bored of him and starts chain-dating all of his friends, then I definitely know this girl.

Cute but not hot.

Most definitely psycho.

At any rate, stay out of it. There's an important, and bitter, lesson he'll need to learn.

That or they are madly in love and things will work out ok.





Bwahahahaha!!!!! Damn, couldn't keep a straight face on that one.

 

[IcyCool]

The age of consent is state-based, not federal.

Yep.

I'm pretty certain it's 16 here in Montana.

 

[The_Universe]

And it's 16 in South Dakota, though I know there are statutes that could still get him in trouble because (though the age is 16) there are still funky laws about *how far apart in age* they can be until both are 18 or over.

Fortunately, it's never been a concern of mine.

 

[WizarDru]

Well, like I said, IANAL.

Hell, I'm probably dating myself by mentioning that I remember when the U.S. drinking age was different from one state to another....my brother loved going to NY from NJ, since he was allowed to drink beer there, when I was a kid.

 

[reveal]

The age of consent is state-based, not federal.

It's 16 in Alaska.

And it's not quite all state based. When I was in the Air Force, we could not date anyone under 18, even if the state said otherwise. That's a federal law that trumps state law but, for the most part, you're exactly right.

Not that I can talk, I started dating my wife when I was in the Air Force at 19 and she was 17.

 

[reveal]

Well, like I said, IANAL.

UWHAT?!