How to tell a friend's girlfriend to get a job or something?

[Gnarlo]

Stay out of the middle of it. Support them, love them both for their flaws, let them make their own mistakes, and be there for them to cry on your shoulder when the split happens. Then you should be in the position to get some hot rebound sex from her. Or him. Whatever floats your boat.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Considering she's about to turn 18, we may need to see photographs of her in a bikini at that time to make a better diagnosis of the situation.

 

[nerfherder]

He's been bragging quite a bit about all the hot sex they've been having

Sounds like she has a job then...

Cheers,
Liam

 

[Angel Tarragon]

:\ OYA!

 

[MadMaxim]

Thanks for the advice, people. I appreciate it, even though you strike as a little cynical, but then again I'm probably just a sensitive guy

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Rare is the guy that is sensitive. You and I are in the same boat.

 

[Torm]

Easy, go over to his house and play The Offspring's "why don't you get a job." on the CD player.

This was the very first thing I thought, too!

And then, he should follow it up with "Everything She Wants" by Wham. :\

 

[Nellisir]

Thanks for the advice, people. I appreciate it, even though you strike as a little cynical, but then again I'm probably just a sensitive guy

Maybe just a little cynical.

Seriously, it's not your place. Lets say you go over and tell her to get a job. What then? Are you going to kick her out when she doesn't? If your friend doesn't want to talk to her about this, he's probably not going to want to kick her out. Being the official "Bad News Guy" is only going to get you hated. The only reason she might listen to you is because she respects you &/or likes you, and the quickest way to blow that is by butting in and being a nag.

So my advice to you is to stay well out of it.

My advice to him is to cut off the cable, and be -VERY- supportive of her getting a job. I don't know her employment history, but she might be nervous about looking for work. She can't have a heck of alot of experience at 17-18. And no cable will probably go a long way to killing the glamour of the stay-at-home lifestyle, unless she's a reading fanatic.

Barring all that, she should at least commit to doing the housework. Having one person at home works for some couples, but that doesn't excuse them from all responsibility.

Cheers
Nell.

 

[WizarDru]

Thanks for the advice, people. I appreciate it, even though you strike as a little cynical, but then again I'm probably just a sensitive guy

Heh. 23's cynical is 36's life-as-we-know-it.

Seriously, some things can only be learned by doing. It's good that you feel for your friend; some of us have been in the exact same situation: in my case, it was a freeloading guy gamer living with a girl gamer; we liked them both, but he was the worst kind of leech on her and others. In another case, I had a male gamer friend who basically would do anything for a non-gamer girl...and all that trying to point that out to him did was alienate him to all of his friends. If you get involved, it could heavily backfire on you, destroying the friendship you were acting in the spirit of.

If he's not able to support the both of them, that problem will resolve itself soon enough. On the other hand, she doesn't have to be employed to help reduce the household costs - taking care of mundane chores, for example, can be worth a lot. But if she isn't helping to organize the bills or help with shopping and cooking, for example...well, like I said, the problem will fix itself in due time, one way or another.

Keep in mind that your friend has to decide his own priorities; if he's happy getting sex on a regular basis (and that ain't a bad thing) at the cost of other things...let it be.

Sometimes the best mark of being a friend is being there to help when after things have gone wrong and to not judge them, even when you think they're making a mistake.

 

[BlackSilver]

Everyone that has said- don't get involved is very right and sounds as though they have had at least one opportunity to do just what you have the chance to do right now.

I think Harmon’s suggestion of getting it all on paper is the best idea.

Nellisir’s idea of shutting off the cable should follow Harmon’s.

Show her the amount of money it takes to run the household, then start cutting luxuries. Cable is first to go, while power and water are the last.

Do yourself a favor Max- stay out of it. There are so many relationships that have been ruined because someone stepped into the middle of a relationship. Talk to your friend, try to be friends with them both. If she says anything about it to you, then speak up, but by all means do not say your friend asked you to talk to her.