How to tell someone not to come back.

[Summer-Knight925]

I think the name of this thread is self explanatory, but nevertheless I do have trouble with this.

There is a player in my group.

Takes too long to do anything, fails to stay focused during the game, slows play with both of these.

How do you tell someone to not come back?

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

IMO, it depends on many factors.

Are you friends with this person?
Is this person a friend of anyone else in the group?
Does this person actually enjoy the game?
Why does this person play the game?
Does anyone else in the group wish that this person would leave?
How might this person react to being told to being kicked out?
Will you see this person in other social, non-game-related context?
Has it been communicated to this person that his playstyle is not appreciated?

Maybe if we had more information, we could help you better.

AR

 

[Summer-Knight925]

Actually, after talking with a few members in the group, we know how to fix the problems that have occured.


We enjoy him, as a person, and outside of game is a swell guy, got me into 40k actually.

But during game is veryslow to do things, mostly anything on his turn.

Not only does he not use a character sheet, but he scans the internet and all that.

So we've decided we'll make him a character sheet and tell him no more computer, after all, he's playing a monk, there isn't that many rules he needs to look up (at least not compared to the sorcerer and the summoner who needs the SRD open every turn)

 

[RobShanti]

One way to get rid of a player or players is to bring the current story arc to a close and tell everyone that's the end of the game. Then, after a brief hiatus, invite back olny the players you want for the next story arc.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Have everyone else in the group fake their deaths, and burn down the place in which you game. Then regroup and game somewhere else. Like Tahiti.

 

[Ulrick]

The best way is the most straight forward:

"Don't come back."

 

[Sonny]

Actually, after talking with a few members in the group, we know how to fix the problems that have occured.


We enjoy him, as a person, and outside of game is a swell guy, got me into 40k actually.

But during game is veryslow to do things, mostly anything on his turn.

Not only does he not use a character sheet, but he scans the internet and all that.

So we've decided we'll make him a character sheet and tell him no more computer, after all, he's playing a monk, there isn't that many rules he needs to look up (at least not compared to the sorcerer and the summoner who needs the SRD open every turn)

Hopefully it works out and you can keep gaming with him.

 

[TarionzCousin]

Keeping players from surfing the Internet during games is critical.

 

[Ahnehnois]

I don't know. I've never done it. As many people as I've had leave for various reasons over the years, and as many problem players as I've had, I've never asked anyone to go. Maybe I'm just too nice, but I hate to give up on someone who wants to be there.

 

[delericho]

Asking someone not to come back is never easy.

My preference, in the first instance, would be to have the DM talk to the player (preferably one-on-one, preferably in person), and explain the issues. Give the player a chance to mend his ways. (This also allows for the possibility that there is an actual good reason for the problematic behaviour - it's always possible that there's some underlying problem that can be fixed, for the good of all concerned.)

If this fails, then again I would have the DM speak to the player (again, one-on-one and in person). Explain that there continues to be a problem, explain that the player has been given a chance to correct the issue. And then simply say that they are, unfortunately, no longer welcome at the game.

Two things:

1) This really needs to be done by the DM, and should be done one-on-one (and in person if at all possible). It's quite important that the other players are not present, because otherwise the player in question is likely to think he is being ganged up on.

2) Once things reach the point of asking the player not to come back, it's important to stick to your guns. The player may well take it hard, may make all sorts of promises, and whatever else. But once they've been given the chance to mend their ways, and have reached the point of being told not to come back, you need to stick to that. Otherwise, in another couple of months you'll just have the same situation again with the same player, which doesn't help anyone. (That's also why I strongly advise giving them a chance to fix the issue before simply uninviting them - you want to be sure before getting to this point.)

Naturally, as with all things, there is plenty of scope for exceptions of various sorts. That's just the general approach I would take; depending on the personalities involved I might do things differently in any specific case.