Hulk and.. pants

[Krug]

From Ebert's Movie Answer Man column....

Q. The Hulk never knows when he'll be angry enough to metamorphose into a giant of extra proportions; yet whenever he does metamorphose, he always has his shorts on. I'm a science fiction fanatic, but I've never come across the explanation as to how the Hulk is not running around totally naked.

Her Lao, St. Paul, Minn.

A. "I'm as fascinated as you about that," "Hulk" actor Eric Bana told the London Observer. "Obviously it's got to do with the fact that otherwise we'd have a large green penis flopping around, and that would diminish the chances of us opening in 4,000 cinemas across the country."

 

[Chun-tzu]

D'uh! All Marvel super-people wear costumes made of unstable molecules (patented by Reed Richards). Bruce Banner must have bought some shorts made of unstable molecules (what normal shorts are purple, huh?). Think about it. If you were a scientist working with gamma rays, wouldn't you want extra protection downstairs?

 

[John Crichton]

D'uh! All Marvel super-people wear costumes made of unstable molecules (patented by Reed Richards). Bruce Banner must have bought some shorts made of unstable molecules (what normal shorts are purple, huh?). Think about it. If you were a scientist working with gamma rays, wouldn't you want extra protection downstairs?

Gonna have to agree, here. I actually have a pair sitting around just in case of accidental mutation or super power manifestation.

 

[Mark]

Gonna have to agree, here. I actually have a pair sitting around just in case of accidental mutation or super power manifestation.

Really? So they can get larger...or smaller...?

 

[John Crichton]

Really? So they can get larger...or smaller...?

The question isn't smaller but how small? I'm my own mini-Me.

 

[Hand of Evil]

They are not purple, those are Calvin's and they stretch so thin they cut off blood, which with his green skin makes it look purple! It also explains why he is always so angry.

 

[Villano]

D'uh! All Marvel super-people wear costumes made of unstable molecules (patented by Reed Richards). Bruce Banner must have bought some shorts made of unstable molecules (what normal shorts are purple, huh?). Think about it. If you were a scientist working with gamma rays, wouldn't you want extra protection downstairs?

I have to disagree. I mean, if they really were unstable molecules, his pants wouldn't be all torn up when he changes.

I can actually suspend my disbelief that they can stretch to fit a half-ton monster. I can even believe that they still fit when he returns to his 140 lb self. But I'm at a total loss as to how they stay intact after getting hit by lazers and artillery. Heck, in the comics, the Hulk's been known to get dropped in lava or molten metal.

Here's my theory: The guy who makes Captain America's costume designed a line of pants.

Seriously, Cap's costume isn't made of unstable molecules, but it's survived being frozen in ice since WW2, and is still in good enough shape for him to use today.

That's some durability!

Personally, I think the makers of the Hulk movie missed out on a great marketing license. You know that line of pants that are supposed to be so resistant to stains and such? How could they not link that to the Hulk?!

Picture this: The commercial begins with Bruce getting up in the morning and getting dress. As he walks around the bedroom to get his shoes, he stubs his toe. Bruce screams, turns into the Hulk and leaps through the ceiling.

Cut to a montage of scenes from the film of the Hulk being shot and explosions going off all around him. End it with bombers flying overhead and stock footage of a nuke going off.

Cut to the interior of a house. We see a door and hear a knock. A woman, whom we only see from behind, walks to the door and opens it. Standing there is Bruce. He's bruised and covered in mud and other filth. However, his pants are in perfect shape.

We now see the woman is Betty. She says, "Nice pants."

Fade to black.

 

[Umbran]

Please, Villano, go find out who does Dockers TV commercials. Tell them this idea. It is perfect. Please, go get that commercial made

 

[Chun-tzu]

I have to disagree. I mean, if they really were unstable molecules, his pants wouldn't be all torn up when he changes.

They don't get torn from his transformation. That's a common misconception.

Actually, Hulk tears them himself, to look trendy. He's really quite fashion conscious. Janet van Dyne's got nothing on him. Sometimes, when he says, "HULK SMASH!" he really means "Hulk looks smashing!"

Picture this: The commercial begins with Bruce getting up in the morning and getting dress. As he walks around the bedroom to get his shoes, he stubs his toe. Bruce screams, turns into the Hulk and leaps through the ceiling.

Cut to a montage of scenes from the film of the Hulk being shot and explosions going off all around him. End it with bombers flying overhead and stock footage of a nuke going off.

Cut to the interior of a house. We see a door and hear a knock. A woman, whom we only see from behind, walks to the door and opens it. Standing there is Bruce. He's bruised and covered in mud and other filth. However, his pants are in perfect shape.

We now see the woman is Betty. She says, "Nice pants."

Fade to black.

I'd buy those. Throw in some Mentos and we're getting somewhere!

 

[John Crichton]

Heheh. Good stuff.

Actually, I was thinking that he could be the new 7up guy...