[Humor] 101 ways to tell the DM hates your guts

[Dispater]

100. He poisoned your Mountain Dew

 

[Drawmack]

101) He bought the local game-store just so he could refuse you service.

 

[jasper]

102.) Shows newby how precise shot works. Can't find an apple so he uses a grape. And he using a catapult.

 

[jdavis]

103 he makes a point of telling your parents how much he hates your guts every time he sees them, sends you post cards that read " Have a Merry Christmas and I hope you die a painful death, sends e-mail to where you work stating that you are an embezzler and a thief, turns you in to America's Most Wanted every week and stands outside your house with a rifle, yells BLAM!! every time you look out the window.

 

[Hejdun]

104) While you get up to get a Mountain Dew, your character sheet "mysteriously" gets tossed on a lightbulb and burned to a crisp.

 

[s/LaSH]

105) You cheat, broadly and openly - rolling loaded dice, writing new abilities on your character sheet, that sorta thing. The DM's smile grows wider and wider as you do so. A distant chorus of 'Resistance Is Futile' may be heard.

 

[Ravellion]

There is some misnumbering around #60 (two 59s and two 60s) SO the next one should be number 108.

Rav

 

[demiurge1138]

108) The DM decides to playtest the BOVD using your character to "check for balance".
109) The DM sends your character into a graveyard containing only the remains of your former characters.
110) Your character recieves a ring of wishes. The DM smiles.
111) The DM applys the Dead template from Portable Hole Full of Beer on your character.

Demiurge out

 

[Tsyr]

This one is relevent to me... It is based on the character I am currently playing in a campaign.

112) You started off the campaign playing a male wood elf. You're currently playing a hermaphrodite drow. It's the same character.

For the record, none of that can be blamed on a bad re-incarnation spell either.

To add insult to injury, I only get the penalties of drow, not the bonuses.

 

[megamania]

The DM has given your character a ring of ressurection and ALL of your party members Alignment changing +30 Vorpal Keen Ultra-nasty weapons.

All of your teammates decide to play an assassin and allowed to draw straws to whom kills you first to qualify.

You are sent to the Abyss while someone plays your character...."my- you've changed the furniture here"