[Humor] 101 ways to tell the DM hates your guts

[Mathew_Freeman]

60. You consider not dying for more than 10minutes a great victory over impossible odds.

 

[jasper]

59.) decides to show how much damage a lighting bolt will do. Ask you to lick your finger and stick in the 220 socket.

60.) decides to show how much emcumbrance the dwarf is carry. Ties cinder blocks to you. Then stares at the creek across the roll and mumbles swim check.

61.) wants to show the new guy how easy it is to kill commoners. Hands axe to new guy and points to you to play commoner.

 

[Assenpfeffer]

62.) Refers to you as "peasant". Out of character.

 

[Tisvon]

63.) when he gives out pre-gened characters, you get a kobold commoner with stats of 3.

 

[HeavyG]

6) When you arrive for the gaming session the DM lets out one of the most evil laughs ever heard.

64) When you arrive for the gaming session, the DM starts crying.


65) When you arrive for the gaming session, the DM gets up and leaves.

 

[Frostmarrow]

66) Your paladin is Chosen by Zuggtmoy

67) A gazebo swallows your character whole

68) Every time you try to speak in character the DM kicks you under the table

69) To simulate the size of your halfling you are forced to sit on the floor

70) At a crucial moment in the big showdown your character is knocked prone by tumbleweed

edit: numbering

 

[Lord Zardoz]

71) The Villiage you are staying in hires a band of trolls to rid the town of you.

72) The NPC Bartenders insist on serving you a drink called "Viper Venom" with rot grub sandwiches.

73) Your characters name is Kodak. The Dm creates a spell called Kodak's Instant Death, and when cast, Kodak, whereever he is and whomever he is, dies. No Save.

74) Your character gets a special feat called "Call Meteor", area of effect == YOU.

 

[Sanackranib]

DMhates you

75) your evil necromancer in a mid-level game (level 10-13 PC's) gets offered a deal, when you ack for some assurance that the NPC's can live up to their end they summon their boss who instructs everyone but you to leave the room then procedes to cast some BS epic level spell and tells you ro roll a REF save vs. 44d6!

 

[Sanackranib]

101 ways

76) the DM says #5 "Your guts ... boy, do I hate 'em!" more often then roll initiative!

 

[pisceanmars]

.

77. he insists that as you play your bard character you must sing in character, and for each note off key you must drink a full glass of bile.

78. it's your character that always seems to get leprosy