[Humor] 101 ways to tell the DM hates your guts

[Ridley's Cohort]

38) When its finally your turn to pull cards from the Deck of Many Things, the DM "adjusts" the deck to two cards -- Donjon and Void.

 

[howandwhy99]

39) Your DM calls to let you know that the next session will be a party "in costume" and gives you the time & address of the local HS girl's swim meet.

 

[Tewligan]

40) Rangers are able to take your character as a favored enemy.

41) If you neglect to tell the DM that your character is inhaling/exhaling, you suffocate.

 

[squirrel]

42. You are a psion (atleast with my DM)
43. You are only allowed to create a 7pt. buy commoner

 

[Drawmack]

43. You are only allowed to create a 7pt. buy commoner

and your abilities a based at zero

 

[Frostmarrow]

45) The DM calls you by name for the first time in years and says: "Hey Johnny, I heard there is a great game on the other side of town, perhaps you should join?!"

46) When randomizing attacks from enemies on the party the DM looks at you before the dice hit the table and says "You".

47) Suddenly the group starts to order indian food instead of pizza and you hate indian food.

48) When captured by goblins they decide to use Sensory deprivation-torture on you...

49) ...And the DM brought props. (Blindfold, gag, earmuffs and a nose clip.)

edit: numbering

 

[Drawmack]

50) Your character's name is always made perverse even when you make it an unpronouncable icon

51) The DM marks parking spots for all the players and your placard is on the pit bulls house

52) Assigned seating, yours is next to the toilet

53) Dinner break - your buying
54) steak
55) from the most expensive restaurant in town

56) The only dice you get to roll are when making a new character, every hour.

57) The DM says, don't you have something better to do?

58) The DM states that the party is took large so he has to cut a player and he has decided that the least biased way to do it is by choosing the player who's character's name comes last and he's sorry Zandriel, yes he knows he assigned that name.

 

[Jürgen Hubert]

6) When you arrive for the gaming session the DM lets out one of the most evil laughs ever heard.

You mean, you don't do this every time any player enters the room?

 

[Ravellion]

59) When you acquire your rabbit familiar, it attacks you. Of course, it is the Vorpal Bunny from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.

Rav

 

[Jürgen Hubert]

50) Your character's name is always made perverse even when you make it an unpronouncable icon

'The character formerly known as "Symbol"?'