(humor) The REAL reason humans hate elves

[Saeviomagy]

Actually, I think there are so few elves about because they dying to the slightest thing.

The average elf peasant has a single hitpoint.

You want to wipe out the elves? Send them houscats as presents. A human will probably live long enough to run away or scream when his housecat turns nasty, but that elf is going to be unconscious when the second claw digs in...

 

[Angcuru]

Actually, I think there are so few elves about because they dying to the slightest thing.

The average elf peasant has a single hitpoint.

Umm....no. Elves only have a -2 to Con. Peasants have 4(-1) hp at first lvl and 1d4 each level after, so the average peasant has 3 hp. Enough to survive a slight stab wound, but that's about it.

 

[Truth Seeker]

Amin merna quen

So...... so this is what we have been describe as.....weak, fragile, annoying, long lives, and frivolous.

If what of us bother you, then why are you interested in our culture...our ways, when it should be you looking to find your own.

We have watch you Edanea slowly ravage the lands, the blossom of nature cannot withstand your hungry deserves for all things new. But yet...in some ways, we admire you, for the drive that burns within you...seeking to conquer all obstacles that come your way.

Forgive my harsh tone, but we know what will become of us...in the end, at least we are aware, for you however.....it is treated with fear and repulsion.

Sometimes......Amin n'rangwa edanea, sorry, must remember to speak in Common.

But there is something you must know, something that is rarely spoken to you Edanea, for those who have befriend the Olven in the past, we have not forgotten them, or their kin that came after them thereafter.

They are remembered in song, and in memory....yes in memory....their faces, the sound of their voice, the moments.....we remember everything, and if you do not know.....your lives enrich us to a higher degree and gives us sorrow as well.

In your simple and short term lives.....you get to do more things frequently than we, you challenge, you strive, you taste the friuts of success or failure. From there, you learn how to deal with life then and there.

I need not explain how we look at life....but from your view....it is exciting from beginning to end.

In that...we envy you.

Tenna' ento lye omenta Edanea.

And by the way.....our pre-adults are not your concern.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Re: Amin merna quen

So...... so this is what we have been describe as.....weak, fragile, annoying, long lives, and frivolous.

If what of us bother you, then why are you interested in our culture...our ways, when it should be you looking to find your own.

We have watch you Edanea slowly ravage the lands, the blossom of nature cannot withstand your hungry deserves for all things new. But yet...in some ways, we admire you, for the drive that burns within you...seeking to conquer all obstacles that come your way.

Forgive my harsh tone, but we know what will become of us...in the end, at least we are aware, for you however.....it is treated with fear and repulsion.

Sometimes......Amin n'rangwa edanea, sorry, must remember to speak in Common.

But there is something you must know, something that is rarely spoken to you Edanea, for those who have befriend the Olven in the past, we have not forgotten them, or their kin that came after them thereafter.

They are remembered in song, and in memory....yes in memory....their faces, the sound of their voice, the moments.....we remember everything, and if you do not know.....your lives enrich us to a higher degree and gives us sorrow as well.

In your simple and short term lives.....you get to do more things frequently than we, you challenge, you strive, you taste the friuts of success or failure. From there, you learn how to deal with life then and there.

I need not explain how we look at life....but from your view....it is exciting from beginning to end.

In that...we envy you.

Tenna' ento lye omenta Edanea.

And by the way.....our pre-adults are not your concern.

I'm sorry, but... WTF?!

 

[Dark Jezter]

Umm....no. Elves only have a -2 to Con. Peasants have 4(-1) hp at first lvl and 1d4 each level after, so the average peasant has 3 hp. Enough to survive a slight stab wound, but that's about it.

NPC classes (Commoner, Adept, Warrior, Expert, and Aristocrat) don't get maximum hit points at level 1. So the average elf commoner does, indeed, only have a single hit point.

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

Oh no!
Not the dreaded Cat-Versus-the-Commoner argument again?!

You DO REALIZE, don't you, folks, that if the elves get ahold of that argument, they will argue the matter for the next thousand years (elves do tend to debate for long periods ...) and the thread, instead of running for only hundreds of posts, will run for tens of thousands!

Concerning Elven Teenagers, it is a known fact that some of them try the Dwarven Look, and have beards and mustaches magically grown.
Not so different from human teenagers who wear their hair green or purple.

As for the business of Dwarven Teenagers banging on their Anvils out of rhythm with the adults, or wearing their beards braided backwards (now THAT would be truly radical), I must hear more.
Anyone?
Anyone here an expert on Dwarven Teenagers?

Jasper has it right.
Do you realize how much golf clubs cost?
Do you realize just how extravagantly offensive it is for another to touch one's sacred golf clubs?
Do you appreciate what water does to such exquisite and delicate items as golf clubs?

The game of golf was invented by the Halfling Race, which cherishes that game as no others do.
So, now you know why it is halflings hate the elves as well.