Well, Elaina doesnt want to see me anymore. We got pretty drunk together Halloween night and she told me a few stories about ex boyfriends. and asked me about some of mine, and I had to tell her that I've never had a girlfriend before and she was the first girl I ever went out with. She got a weird look on her face and said that kind of freaked her out, and then didnt really say much to me the rest of the night. Then the next day she sent me a text message saying she would be my friend but she didnt want a long distance relationship. Its funny,. but it never seemed to bother her before that night. Thenm when I asked her if it would have worked out if I lived in pittsburgh too and she said yes, but she had never even considered it so it didnt matter, it really hurt. She hadnt ever considered it? Then why had we been talking every day for the past month and gone out twice?
I dont understand, and Im feeling really numb and empty so I dont really want to try to understand right now.
That same night my dog died. I'm not kidding at all. He was fifteen, and Ive been pretty well devastated by everything.
I have another back surgery on tuesday. Im almost hoping I dont wake up from it.