The answer is "too complicated to summarize with a single word". Mu, one might say.
It must--always--be a give-and-take, for everyone. Receptivity and respect from everyone. Not unilateral absolute power on one side and a forced choice between absolute obedience or bridge-burning on the other. GMs have more latitude; that means they are held to higher standards as a result. GMs restrict more things than players--and should; that means they must genuinely sell their players on those restrictions, and part of doing so is being receptive to reasonably-limited, but also reasonably generous, flexibility.
But of course, as always, it becomes exactly what it always does in these ridiculous "debates". The GM must have absolute, unmitigated, unrestricted power to do anything they want, no matter what, eternally, and players get the choice of "meekly submit to every restriction no matter how much they might bother you" or "almost guaranteed upset people by refusing to participate". I reject this ridiculous extreme. People who respect one another don't do that.