I have a problem with a player!

[der_kluge]

Two options:

1. Don't give out XP awards for role-playing. This is pretty much why I don't do it.
2. Throw away the out-dated XP system. I did. Just level up PCs when its convenient to you. Throwing out the XP system is not as hard as you think it might be.

 

[Lavinia Teeblatt]

Thanks for some very good advices!

Hi,

first many thanks for your advices.
I think kicking the XP system totally is not possible because it´s not only me DMing in our party, it´s always changing between 3 party members.
But some advices especially to do a voting with the party members at the end of one session for a base number of XP for roleplaying awards seems to be a really great idea. I think I will try to get this idea in our party.
Some of you are really right, he is always a litle bit like a crybaby.
Someday another DM killed his character and can you imagine what he was doing? He stood up, went home and was very angry on the DM.
I think it´s always very difficult to play with such choleric guys.
Last I have to say that my decision not to give XP for roleplaying to him should not be a kind of criticism to him.
It was only an award for the other players.

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

beaten to the punch...

Kill him.

whoops

I can suggest that in the future all XP awards could be given secretly, or tallied up yourself in private and made known to the players when they level up.

That sums up but of my theories.

 

[S'mon]

He also threatened, that he would not play next time I will DM an adventure.

Definitely hold him to this.

 

[diaglo]

did you let everyone know ahead of time you would be giving out bonus xps?

i think it does look like favoritism if not.

 

[Brother Shatterstone]

did you let everyone know ahead of time you would be giving out bonus xps?

I think it does look like favoritism if not.

I don't know about that as the DM guide states that a bonus for good Role-playing is appropriate. I think it's said the same thing for 3 editions now....


Correction: 3.5 editions now.

 

[Cybern]

I say you should continue to award RP XP bonuses... only, when a player do or say something that should get him a bonus (or penalty, for that matter), take a note so you can respond to the "why"s you'll recieve.

I award XP for RP, mostly in secret, and crying players get XP penalties.

 

[Henry]

First of all, Lavinia, Welcome to ENWorld!

Second of all,

When the adventure was finished I gave the XP to the players in our party. I also gave a small amount of XP ( 50p ) for roleplaying very well to two of our party members.
After that I was attacked very hard and personally by one of the other members of the party. He couldn´t understand my motivation giving out roleplaying XP to these two players.
He also threatened, that he would not play next time I will DM an adventure.
This and all the other attacks hurt me very much because ist was really very personally.

It is possible that this player felt like it was a personal insult to him for giving others the extra XP when he himself did not get the award.

It's usually best to talk about the situation as an open group, rather than either ostracizing him, or writing a personal e-mail, as it puts the issue in front of the group, instead of making it personal.

Did you announce before the start of the campaign that roleplaying awards would be given? Or was it spur-of-the-moment?

In either case, talking about the situation in a non-hostile way with the group might bring more understanding of his concerns, and might also allow you to bring to light that you were hurt in this exchange, too.

Good luck, and I hope you stick around ENWorld!

Henry
Moderator
ENWorld

 

[Henry]

I don't know about that as the DM guide states that a bonus for good Role-playing is appropriate.

However, if the players do not own the DMG, then they wouldn't necessarily know this passage is there...

Perceptions and reality are often very different, and sometimes the perception has more effect than the reality itself.

 

[Thresher]

No one deserves to be insulted, guilt tripped or threatened over a game, least of all for what seemed a trivial occourance any mature person wouldnt exactly be offended by.

Dont stand for it. He's obviously a bully and and immature idiot who no one needs to put up with.