If you are looking for feedback I can give you my thoughts. I am hardly a professional but...
The quest is fairly typical but not badly thought out. The encounters have some variety and some of them I like a lot.
Now for the negative
The whole presentation is not quite that of a module but seems more like the notes I would make for one of my own campaigns. For it to be a module, the layout needs a bit of work and some of the areas need fleshed out a lot more. In fact the whole thing seems more like an overview than a true in depth presentation. That and the fact that you should find out the names of the XYZ river, etc. before throwing it out for public consumption.
You need to begin a module with some discussion of who the module is meant for (level, number of party members, etc.).
As well, the setting for
Nemoren's Vault is not by default Kalamar and if you are going to start from there you need to explain better a bit more where in Kalamar you placed
Nemoren's Vault.
Finally, some of your work requires a bit of heavy proofreading...
for example...
A magic missile and falls out the back of the wagon killed one of the warriors as they pass the PC’s.
...is given as a complete sentence and makes absolutely no sense. I had a lot of trouble trying to follow what you were describing because of this.
Personally I think what you presented has the ingredients to be a decent adventure but it needs quite a bit of work if you really want to present it as a 'module'
Keep at it. The more you do it the easier it gets.
