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I need some work advice

der_kluge

Adventurer
*sigh* I don't know what to do.

Some backstory, I'm an IT consultant. I moved to Virginia last year because the job market in KC basically dried up, and the company I worked for was outsourcing their IT to IBM. In retrospect, the people that are still with that company, absolutely loathe being there, and most of the people I worked with there have left. So that was the right decision. Unfortunately, it meant moving my family over a thousand miles away from our families, since most of the jobs in my field seem to be on the East coast nowadays.

Initially, I'd gotten a two-year contract with a definite end-date. That is, after two years, I'd leave that assignment, and would have to find a new one.

So, 10 months into the assignment, I decided to leave, because I wasn't doing anything. I'd found a job within the government, since I thought it might have some long term potential. I started there in August. Going there was a bit of a gamble since government budget's end on September 30th. Some of the people who are there had been there for 6 and 7 years, so it seemed like a good bet. My consulting firm was waiting on a new contract to be awarded, and it would guarantee them a place there for the next 3-5 years.

That didn't happen. After September 30th, I was placed on the bench because the budget hadn't been updated, and then my consulting firm found out that they lost the contract. So, my firm started looking for me a new job. That was a month ago.

In the meantime, we bought a house - perhaps not the smartest decision I've ever made, but the reason was because we were having our second child. So we needed out of the apartment for the extra space. Plus, we hated renting. I also decided that I didn't want to be held hostage by my career, and I didn't want to worry about my job to prevent us from living in a house.

So, the timing has been great - we moved into our house, and we had our child, all while being on the bench. Being on the bench means that while my company actively looks for me a job, I continued to get paid. It's a great benefit, but one that obviously does not last forever.

So, Monday of last week, I got a call from my manager that they were giving me two weeks' notice. That, at the end of this week, they'd be cutting me off.

Then on Wednesday, they called me and wanted to know if I could go to New Jersey for a short (2-3 week assignment). I had woke up that morning having caught some virus, and had just finished vomiting when they asked me to go to NJ! Not good timing.

Before this time, I'd been actively talking with other firms in the area, and on Wednesday I was meeting with two, and had an interview with a local company set up. So, pulling myself together as well as I could, I went to those, and then decided that I could go to NJ even though I didn't really want to. I figured that since they'd been so kind to give me 6 weeks of Bench time, it was the least I could do, really.

One of the other factors was that my in-laws were in town (and are leaving today), and then my parents will be up for about a week. Next week, my wife would be home alone with a 3 week old, and a 2.5 year old. I'm afraid she'll just be overwhelmed trying to take care of herself and our kids.

The other problem I have is that while I'm here, I'm not able to really actively look for another job. At best, I can do a phone interview, and I had one last Friday. That job was something I could easily do, but pays about 13k less a year than what I'm currently making. Admittedly, what I currently make is a bit high for this market (there's a long story as to why that is; long story short, when I went to the federal side, the company played hardball to get me to leave, and they raised my rate, even though I was perfectly happy where I was). This is a 6 month job, but the consulting firm seems like a good one.

At any rate, I'm torn on what to do. On the way back home last week I had a conversation with someone at the Newark airport waiting to fly back to Richmond. He was experience at flying, and was discussing a delay. I asked him if he'd been doing this for a while. "Every week for the last 6 years". Whoa. I told him that this was my first week, and that I didn't care for it. He told me I was a whiner, basically. I asked him if he missed his family "No, my kids are grown, and I hate my wife", was his answer. Interesting.

So, I can't help but wonder if I'm not just being a whiner. Part of me says I should just suck this up, and work up here for the next few weeks. It will be hard on me, and harder on my wife, but we'll get through it. It *might* mean that my company could find something for me in Richmond. Although, given that they were unable to do so after 6 weeks, my confidence level is not terribly high. However, it does keep me at my current rate, so I'm still maintaining my salary.

And then I wonder if I'm placing too much value on my salary, and I should place my family first. If I call my manager and inform the manager onsite here that I just can't come back next week, there's a good chance my employer will come back and say, "ok, we're letting yo go then". There's a very real possibility that that could happen. Being unemployed isn't terribly appealing to me. Alternatively, I could see if I could get an offer for this 6 month job, and even though it pays so much less, it would be *a* job, and it would allow me to stay in Richmond, and the firm it's with seems like they would have more opportunities available for me down the line.

Conversely, taking this job now means that I risk foregoing some other job that might come around. I mean, my fear is that I would accept this job, and then tomorrow someone would call with a better job. This all takes time, though and no one is really moving fast enough. Consulting firms like to just sort of give lip-service to everything, but in the end you don't really mean much to them. So none of them really have any vested interest in me.

So, I'm not really sure what to do here. On the one hand, I could stay here, and let the recruiters in Richmond work for me to find me something new. It gives them more time to do that, and keeps me from being unemployed. On the other hand, it keeps me away from my family, and makes it harder for me to interview there.

Anyone have any thoughts?
 

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der_kluge said:
And then I wonder if I'm placing too much value on my salary, and I should place my family first.
Well, what's more important to you - now, and in the long run? Family may be great, but if you can't feed them... (for example).
 

Curtis,
That's a tough gig. I work with a bunch of consultants on an implementation right now. To be honest, the travel lifestyle is not for me. Are you being a whiner? Not even close. You are placing a different value on things than other people choose to. Should you stay with the current company or accept something less? That's a tough call and it is really hard to offer advice from a single posting on a messageboard. But I think you are feeling the stress of being the sole provider for the family right now and you are missing out on the family development and growth. If you can still live comfortably on a lower salary, there is a compelling arguement for taking a pay cut. But still, it is a pay cut. It hurts to take those.

How good a relationship with the consulting firm do you have? Do you think they are really looking out for you and trying to get you a good job near home? Or are they just billing you out to whomever is willing to pay? If they aren't really looking out for you, then you will probably end up travelling more and more.
 

BardStephenFox said:
How good a relationship with the consulting firm do you have? Do you think they are really looking out for you and trying to get you a good job near home? Or are they just billing you out to whomever is willing to pay? If they aren't really looking out for you, then you will probably end up travelling more and more.

Well, I've only been directly employed by them since August. I was subcontracting through them since last year. Essentially, I worked directly for a company based out of Charlotte, but the contract we used was through this company. It's an odd relationship.

I think they are trying well enough, but there's only so much they can do, I think, and they certainly don't have access to all jobs in my area, so I have to work with as many as I possibly can. I told them up front I wasn't interested in traveling. If I was, I think they could have placed me in D.C. right away. I think they called me about the NJ thing on a long shot. I think they've been very grateful that I came here. It sounds like they had a hard time getting someone to come. I think several people fell through before I arrived. So, maybe this is winning me some brownie points. Not that it will do any good if they can't find any jobs which are a fit for me. Ultimately it boils down to who has the right job for me. That's how the game is played.
 

Hi Curtis,

Long time, no sexual favors. ;)

Admittedly, I am completely ignorant of how things work in the IT industry, and mostly ingorant of how things work in consulting. But you know I'll never hesitate to offer an ignorant opinion.

Don't obsess about missing opportunities while you're on this gig. If something comes up, explain what you're doing and when you'll be available. A couple of weeks shouldn't cost you any real opportunities.

For the stuff at home, I'm less sure of what the right answer is. Sometimes the cost of being able to have a stay-at-home mom is having a work-away-from-home dad. If it is a short job, with a definite and not-too-far-out end, I say stick with it. If another chance like this one comes up afterward, evaluate it then. But definitely stick this one out; you have a commitment to your family, yes, but you also made a commitment to do this job. Don't back out.

Good luck man. I'll be sending along good wishes frequently, bro.
-Dave
 

If someone calls with a better job then you take it and don't look back, man. If you're at some place for a grand total of three days or something, no matter.
 

Take a breath, lean back in your chair and ask yourself- "what should I do?" The first thing that comes to mind is the right answer.

As far as taking a job then getting a better offer a day or three later. Don't burn bridges, but always look for a newer and better job. Presently I am in construction so I don't have to worry, a crappy job and a great job is just around the next bend for me, but you have to be more selective then that (I realize your position).

Good luck, and don't stretch your family thin over money, it isn't worth it. You have a family that loves you and that is truly whats important (though a big lotto win never hurts :) ).
 

Harmon said:
Take a breath, lean back in your chair and ask yourself- "what should I do?" The first thing that comes to mind is the right answer.

As far as taking a job then getting a better offer a day or three later. Don't burn bridges, but always look for a newer and better job. Presently I am in construction so I don't have to worry, a crappy job and a great job is just around the next bend for me, but you have to be more selective then that (I realize your position).

Good luck, and don't stretch your family thin over money, it isn't worth it. You have a family that loves you and that is truly whats important (though a big lotto win never hurts :) ).


That reminds me, Harmon, how did you career stuff go? I know you were looking at changing careers a while back.


As far as me, I accepted a position with another consulting firm in town, and I'll be going back to Capital One. This job pays quite a bit less than what I'm making now, but according to my budget, it's about the minimum I could make and still pay all of our bills, and be ok. So, I'm not too worried. The job is actually in the marketing department, and isn't in IT, so that'll be a new opportunity for me. It's actually a technology-centric "data analyst" role. It's sort of a glorified report writer, actually. But, I'll be able to add a couple of new technologies to my resume, so there are some positives to the position. It's only a 6-month gig, but hopefully the consulting agency I'm going with is big enough that they'll have something else for me by the time this one ends. I'm optimistic that they can.

I'm flying home for the weekend tonight (Wednesday), and I'll fly back to NJ next Tuesday morning for the duration of the week, and then I start the new job on the 5th. So, we only have to suffer through one more week of commuting, and then I'll be back home.

Thanks for listening to me therapatize myself. :)
 

I'm not sure what the best thing to do is, but don't ever place a job higher than your family. Family should be, IMO, the most important thing to anyone, period, hands down, no ifs, ands, or buts. Yeah, it hits a chord with me -- my father, back when I was 11, decided that his new job was more important than his wife, son, and daughter, and broke our family apart. No job is worth that. Your family should always be your top priority. So whatever you decide to do, talk it over with your wife, and figure out what the best thing to do is together.

And yeah, I think I'm coming in late, but still, wanted to say it. Good luck, Curtis!

-Matt
 

der_kluge said:
That reminds me, Harmon, how did you career stuff go? I know you were looking at changing careers a while back.

Still working as a carpenter, though I am keeping my eyes open for other prospects. We have are having our first child somewhere around Feb28th. The wife (Lelenia) is staying home for the first few months while I work then we trade off. A few months after that (I figure about July) I will start looking for a job that I can work between the hours of 7 pm and 5 am.

Thanks for asking :)

der_kluge said:
As far as me, I accepted a position with another consulting firm in town, and I'll be going back to Capital One. <snipped>

Sounds good, though the pay seems like its keeping your mood a little reserved. Keep an eye out for something better, and try to keep your options open (don't burn any bridges behind you).

der_kluge said:
Thanks for listening to me therapatize myself. :)

You are very welcome, we are all in this together.

Have a good Thanksgiving.
 

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