I think I've lost my way.

[Bleys Icefalcon]

The DM isn't enjoying the game, and is considering quitting. So, no, it's not OK.

I'd tell the group flat out that you're unhappy and need a change or you're going to hand off DMing to someone else. Either way, the problem will get resolved.

I had to do this very thing. We were rambling through a 3.5 Dungeon, and the party came across a red skinned woman (no not a racial slur, a woman, with crimson red skin). They realized it was the main antagonist; a Red Dragon, who'd shape changed into humanoid form. Two of them engaged her two lackeys (modified Ju Ju Zombies - updated to 3.5), while the rest all initiated:

G R A P P L E S

This turned into a furious rules battle between two Meta-gamers, the DM (me) and a trouble maker who just liked to argue but didn't really have a horse in the race. 3 frigging hours worth. The party was all roughly 4th-6th level. The "rules" had her not only Grappled, but pinned and completely helpless, said rules went on to state that "She could perform no action, no spells, not even talk, without the consent of the grappler". The room she was in was not much larger than a prison cell, she could not become her full size.

1500 year old Adult Red Dragon, ECL 15. 3 low levels wtfpwned her in about 5 seconds flat; one of who was a twinked monk with mad grappling skeelz.

Please understand, the rules lawyers had been running our game (I was the DM) for several sessions now, and this was the final straw. I was done. Over it. Finished. I had been playing some form of this game since College, and I am 50. I was ready to quit completely that night. In fact I DID quit. The next day I got a call from a long time gaming friend, and we commiserated over the old 1.0/2.0 Days - how ti was more about story and role play and fun, and not so ONLY about twinking and build.

And I unquit.

The next game I had them put away their books and character sheets, and passed out crisp new ARMORY Character sheets I'd gotten printed on some nice parchment. And we sat down and made brand new characters for a 2.0 Game. And for the first time, in a very very long time - it's back to being a GAME and not WORK. We've been 2.0 for about half a year now;

NO

REGRETS

AT

ALL

 

[Ulrick]

1. Go old school with any of the older editions of D&D before 3e or a retroclone.

2. Have the players keep track of all of the characters abilities, skills, powers, and equipment on 3''x5" index cards.

3. If the description of an ability, skill, power, or piece of equipment can't fit on the card, then its too powerful and needs to be gotten rid of!

 

[steenan]

I'll add my voice to all the people that suggest changing the system.

Move away from D&D, d20 and everything d20-like for a while - or maybe for a long while, if you find that some other game suits you and your group better.

Try several different games, if you can. I suggest trying at least 2 or 3 games from the following:
- Ars Magica - to feel what it means to be a wizard (at no cost - Ars Magica 4e is a free download)
- Mouse Guard - because you can truly be a hero when nearly everything is bigger and meaner than you
- Spirit of the Century (or other FATE-based game) - to see how striving for mechanical efficiency can help portraying a character instead of detracting from it
- Mistborn Adventure Game - with very interesting world and fascinating magic system
- Nobilis - to destroy the Sun and create it back with a starting character, spending only a small amount of your resources

 

[jokamachi]

I find that when real life pulls me away for a year or two, I always come back to the game refreshed and ready for more. I don't plan these interludes, but I find they have a healthy effect on my gaming in general.

 

[Libramarian]

I think this sort of view is unnecessarily cynical, most of the time. Game companies build their business model on selling the players what they want. For a lot of players and for many years that has meant more rules. Should we really blame a game company for giving the players what they seem to want?

Well, yes. In the same way that I blame (look down upon with some reproach) McDonalds for filling people with cheap garbage.

It tastes good at first but ultimately isn't good for you.

Big Mac = character option splats
Coronary arteries = DM's passion for the game

 

[Agamon]

I can honestly say I haven't been as jacked to start a game as I am right now. And I've felt the OP's pain. The comments to look at OSR games is a good one. DCC had me very interested (and I'm playing in an online game of it right now), but ACKS has blown me away, an excellent mix of simplicity and complexity, and the economy/domain rules are great. The prefect mix for my upcoming hexcrawl game, and D&D-ish enough to keep the players happy. We should be starting in a few weeks once summer dies down and I've been able to prep the setting to my liking.

 

[Lord Pendragon]

This turned into a furious rules battle between two Meta-gamers, the DM (me) and a trouble maker who just liked to argue but didn't really have a horse in the race. 3 frigging hours worth.

This is definitely a player issue. I and my DM are rules lawyers as well, but if we don't reach a quick consensus (which we usually do,) we just go with his ruling and move on, period. I've even stopped myself from arguing with other players when it felt like it was going to get protracted, and just ended it with, "the DM will decide."

Being a rules lawyer is fine. But if you're a player, you have to know when to let it go, or you're hurting everyone's fun.

The party was all roughly 4th-6th level. The "rules" had her not only Grappled, but pinned and completely helpless, said rules went on to state that "She could perform no action, no spells, not even talk, without the consent of the grappler". The room she was in was not much larger than a prison cell, she could not become her full size.

1500 year old Adult Red Dragon, ECL 15. 3 low levels wtfpwned her in about 5 seconds flat; one of who was a twinked monk with mad grappling skeelz.

Savage Worlds has a rather elegant way of handling the situation. It basically acknowledges in its rules that sometimes the GM has to cheat to keep the story going in the right direction. When this happens, though, all the players are given a little bonus as compensation. Basically it's an acknowledgement that yes, the GM is breaking the rules. And IME it makes said breaking much more palatable to the players. Feels less like cheating and more like a "DM option" being exercised.

Assuming I need that red dragon and can't just have her sister show up, I will just be frank with the players that I'm breaking the rules, have the dragon bust out of the grapple, and give them a compensatory bonus of some kind to make up for it. Problem solved.

Glad the switch to 2e worked out for your group, though I have to say given my experience/love of 3.5, I wouldn't blame the system necessarily for the troubles you had.