(IR) The Imaginary IR

[Edena_of_Neith]

This is the Imaginary IR.
In other words, it has nothing to do with the 5th IR.
If you think that this affects the 5th IR in any way, you are being very foolish.
This IR exists only in our deluded imaginations.

In other words, this is a What If situation that never happened. (If you think it happened, this isn't the place for you!)


- - -

Aliador, tired of all that TEC nonsense, INVADES.

The Lord and Lady of Aliador, along with 2 Epic PL, 25 Elite PL, and 125 Regular PL, teleport to Doraaka, and open fire.
That's right, they're gonna LEVEL the place. Even as I write this, Doraaka - Capital of the Empire of Iuz - is going up in flames.

And the Good Drow, recovered from the Withdrawal, teleport to all over the Empire of Iuz and into many parts of Uveneleis' lands, and begin SLAUGHTERING the Dark Drow.
Never again, vow the Good Drow, shall the Drow - Dark Drow or otherwise - terrorize and traumatized the Surface World!
And Eilistraee leads the charge.

Aliador and the Good Drow call on all the good powers to lend their assistance, as they stamp out the evil of Iuz and the Dark Drow forever from the Oerth!

 

[Creamsteak]

The peace loving illithids will send 20 epic PL to devour the countries of the gnomes. Unless they are wearing bright white hats, which are obviously a sign of peace.

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

Since the Imaginary IR uses 1st, 2nd, and 3rd and 3.5 rules (pick whichever is most convenient for you) some of my elves have the 2nd edition Lifeproof spell up. (Most of them don't have the spell up, of course: there wasn't time to throw so many 7th level spells, and I didn't have enough mages: wait until I get 10th level magic! )
Which means physical damage has no effect on them! Curse in vain, you slackers!
How can you kill these Elite Forces? Figure it out. But you better hurry, because they are destroying and rampaging quickly across the city of Doraaka as I write this!

EDIT: 20 Epic PL? LOL. Those illithid were busier than we thought!

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

Oh, forgot to mention this:

Since that Forrester person ran away, the humanoids are defenseless! Without Forrester to stand up for them, what hope do the humanoids have?!

The elves, begin slaughtering the humanoids ... (Yes, Paxus, that means you. Remember how Legolas stood against your average orc?)

25 Elite Armies and 50 Regular Armies teleport up into the Rakers, and begin systematically destroying the humanoid cities and enclaves. One by one, these places are put to the torch, and their populations massacred (except the orc babies. They are taken back to Aliador, where the 8th level spell Metamorphosis will be used to turn them into elves, thus increasing the elven population.)

Before anyone thinks to attack Varna, capital of Aliador, there are 1.5 MILLION in militia there.
And every one of them prepared to fight to the death for Aliador, the Seldarine, and each other.
Let's see, at 5000 persons per militia, that would be ... 300 militia.
Of course, Aliadors' main armies can teleport back at anytime they want.
So curse in vain!

Elves WILL rule the Oerth.

Unconditional surrender is always accepted, of course.

 

[Uvenelei]

After long periods spend with a therapist, the Tempest has revealed a dark and hidden truth about himself that he was never able to accept before now: he is a halfling trapped in a human's body. A brief bout of cathartic weeping later, and the Tempest is a changed man. He now understands that not violence and combat, but peace and understanding, are the answers to life's problems. The oppression he practiced on his subjects was a horrible crime, for which he has a whole new lifetime to atone.

The newly renamed Tempest of Puppylove hangs up his massive greatsword forever, and takes up the path of love and peace. A few powerful spells and Vows of Peace and Nonviolence later, and the Tempest is transformed into a halfling champion of Yondalla. The religion of Yondalla takes the Tharquish Empire by storm as the Tempest teleports nonstop across all his lands for the next few weeks, giving impassioned speeches before his armies and subjects.

After the faith of Yondalla has taken hold, and the army is well into the process of beating their swords into ploughshears, the Tempest turns to doing right to those whom he has previously wronged. The treasures of the Imperial palace are sold, and the funds raised are used to build temples to the Blessed One and orphanages through the land. Slaves are released and given the opportunity to build new lives for themselves. The gladatorial arena is throughly cleaned of all the dried blood and body parts, and converted into a great library. The old torture rooms are levelled, and schoolhouses are built atop the ruins.

My entire force (300 regular PL, 35 elite PL and 6 epic PL) fully invest their time and energy into public works projects

A golden era of peace begins anew for the Tharquish Empire.

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

Because the people of the Tharquish Empire are becoming peaceful, and the Tempest is not resisting, it should be no problem for the valiant elves and elfesses of Aliador to sweep away the Dark Drow.
Elven maidens in gleaming armor, riding unicorns, down the fiends with shining swords.
Valiant elven men in shimmer elven chain fire spell after spell against the foe.
The Dark Drow, unable to endure the sunlight, are forced underground once more.

But the elves are not content to let them escape.
The Elven High Mages throw Wrath of the Just (in a very limited form, so it destroys only small areas ... the elves don't want the whole Tharquish Empire on their backs) on the ground and Underdark which the Dark Drow fled into.
In a cataclysm of earthquakes, the Dark Drow are squashed.

The assault against Doraaka and across the Empire of Iuz continues.
The assault on the Rakers continues.
The elves and good drow are on the offensive.

Elven blades, gleaming brilliant bluish white (ala Tolkien) chop down demon and humanoid alike. The famed archers of the elves mow down the enemy, and many of the elven arrows carry spells into the enemy, detonating into Fireballs, Lightning Bolts, Cones of Cold, Death Spells, and other such niceities.
Elven Aerial Cavalry, riding griffons and pegasi, fire curtains of spells and arrows down upon the enemy.

The Faerie spring into action, and legions of trees arouse themselves in Aliador, marching forth, crossing into the Empire of Iuz.
The titanic strength of the trees crushes houses, towers, and defensive walls alike. Towns are torn asunder, bridges shredded, the very countryside trampled under the fury of the treees, while the Faerie and Treants urge the trees onward, marching towards the major cities of the Empire of Iuz and the humanoid cities of the Wolf.
The slaughter is on.

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

Archcleric Hazen of Veluna, magically charmed by the elves of Aliador, pulls his country out of the League of Athyr, and declares war on the Empire of Iuz.
A final reckoning with the Old One, he declares, is in order.

The forces of Veluna marshall in the great city of Mitrik, preparing to aid in the onslaught.

Celene and the Yeomanry break with the League of Athyr, and declare their allegiance to Aliador renewed.
Then they declare war on:

The Empire of Iuz
The Wolf and his Humanoids
The Scarlet Brotherhood

At once, Celene and it's allied treants (and armies of trees) begin marching southeast from the city of Enkstad towards the Suss Forest and the humanoid fortresses there.

In the Yeomanry, the peasants are drafted. Great peasant levees, the famous levees that once withstood the giants and their drow mistresses, are marshalled and readied.
The Yeomanry prepares to strike southward at the Hold of the Sea Princes and westward at the humanoids of the Crystalmists.

The Lendore Isles declare war on the Empire of Iuz, the Wolf and his Humanoids, and the Scarlet Brotherhood.

The Ice Elves of the Adri declare the whole of Adri Forest is THEIRS, and invite Greater Nyrond to leave.
An invitation, state the Ice Elves, the Nyrondese (and everyone else in the forest, Nyrondese or otherwise) can't refuse.

The Empire of the Yuan-Ti declares war on the Wolf, stating that it is intolerable that 4 million humanoids are sitting under their capital city.

There is a rumor that Vecna appeared in Niole Dra, and that King Arden, the Lord and Lady of Aliador, and Eilistraee combined were able to defeat him and dispel him.

 

[James Heard]

In Aestia Zagyg reveals himself as the ancient hero "Saint Nick" along with his trusty steed Rudolpho. The gnomes come out of the closet and declare themselves elves, and not only elves but marshmellow elves (+2 to smore). All over Aestia the slavelords crack the whips for the preparations for the invasion day known only by its acronym: X.M.A.S.

Meanwhile Scrabbles and Ruddy go camping with the Gnome Scouts, where something awful befalls them. They never amount to anything, only needing years of therapy to work out their issues before they finally settle in Masyrus to become a homeless boy and his giant psionically-grafted-to-his-backside hamster. Eventually they pull themselves out of the gutter and Scrabbles becomes the biggest coke dealer in Aestia: El Scrabbles.

 

[Uvenelei]

The Tharquish Empire may be peaceful now, but we do resist any attempt to take the Dark Drow. A human chain surrounds any and all Dark Elf safe houses, and the elves themselves within the safe houses. The first elven warrior to come against the Dark Elves is confronted by a little halfling girl with big round eyes, who presents a single daisy to the warrior. "Pwease don't hurt the elves, mister/ma'am. We'll be your fwiends."

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

The elves, believe it or not, seem at a loss, when confronted by the halfling girl requesting they not hurt the Dark Drow.
They are elves, after all.

However, the Dark Drow solves the problem for everyone.
She (the Dark Drow) Fireballs the elves as they stand there.
This isn't one of those 3.0 or 3.5 jobbies. This is an old fashioned Fireball, of the useful kind. It melts the elves into goo, evaporates their clothing, and leaves their armor glowing red hot.

Then the Dark Drow walks outside and up to the girl, smiles and pats her on the head gently, and gives her a gentle 'thank you'. She then turns and walks back inside.