Urgh, I ran out of time and I'm sorry to submit something so rushed and half-baked. That definitely needed another few hours of work and an editing pass. Not happy with it at all, even though I think the core idea is good. Too much scene-setting, not enough action, and too many of the ingredients didn't get enough time front and centre. And worse still, I didn't even remember to LABEL Harsh Reality (the realisation on the part of the locals that the Company was going to let them rot on Gaharne forever). So I'm a big fat zero on that ingredient already. I think I can write this one off as a loss.
I HAVE to ask though - @Gradine especially. Was it INTENTIONAL that I was given Rampaging Gnomes as an ingredient, given I've had that exact same ingredient before in a previous Iron DM, that you in fact judged? IRON DM 2020 Tournament Thread
So, for those of you who are new, a quick breakdown of how judging will work from this point forward.
Each judge will be posting their judgment individually and independently. We will not be reading each other's judgements as we do so. Each judge will be able to offer one vote towards advancement. Two votes mean you're on the final round!
I'll be offering the third and final judgment, and will only read the other judgements after I have posted. I will then make a post to announce the winner.
Rune’s Judgement for Round 2, Match 1: humble minion vs. AustinHolm
Overview
I kind of love it when two competing entries could dovetail together into a single adventure. This isn’t quite that. Despite using different systems, both entries so seamlessly fall into their shared genre that they could be easily run back to back using one system or the other. That kind of thing is a cool byproduct that sometimes happens with a pool of shared ingredients. But that’s not what this tournament is about. Let’s get into it.
Hooks and Stakes
AusinHolm’s So Real It Burns (henceforth, “Burns”) and humble minion’s Forgotten Meat (“Meat”) both offer DNA recovery missions that will likely go from investigation to chaotic action. Both use hooks so similar they are practically parallel. Both assume the PCs are working for a wealthy/powerful patron and simply are expected to do the job. As fits the genre.
As such, the stakes for both adventures go initially from “get paid” to “hopefully survive and maybe save some people and maybe also get paid.” Pretty solid.
Structure
“Burns” leans more into its investigative structure (with its very compelling mystery) and an underlying subtle horror that might give way to a fiery climax if the PCs do the kinds of aggressive investigation that PCs tend to do. Meanwhile, “Meat” is inevitably going to switch to violent horror as soon as the xenomorph gets free and starts doing what they do.
Both entries are likely to have bleak outcomes, even if victorious. Saving the settlers in “Burns” may well be against their will and will probably not lead to their happiness. Returning the part-alien DNA of the clones to the PCs’ patron also can’t be a good outcome in the long run.
“Meat” forces its PCs to abandon most (if not all) of the colonists simply because the Company (Weyland-Yutani?) has deemed their rescue too expensive. Presumably, the PCs’ ability to save any of them (in a non-digitized form) would depend on how many cryopods they free up by dying. If that happens, the surviving PCs are presented a delicious moral dilemma as they have to figure out who gets saved and who doesn’t. All this assumes, of course, that the xenomorph and the NOMs have left any of the colonists alive.
This is all good stuff. I would very much like to run both of these adventures. However, one of them is considerably more polished in presentation than the other and, thus, would likely take less preparation from the GM to do so.
Add to that polish such sections as “Countermeasures” with clearly presented truly complicating and likely twists. It looks like “Burns” takes the lead, here (although I will point out that “Meat” also has some very good complications – for example: the NOMs targeting the only available effective weapons that can be used against a xenomorph).
Except: one thing is bugging me. If the alien setup requires the human/clone’s psychic drama to function and even keep the satellite in orbit, how did it do so for so long before the settlers showed up (it is ancient, after all!)? I don’t have an easy answer to this and it forces me to question which entry truly would be easier to prep.
I guess I’ll have to revisit this if the ingredients don’t present a clear lead.
Ingredients
Flaming Spirits
“Burns” gives us two variants of this ingredient. Katrina appears as a flaming ghost because of an illusion and is neither really flaming, nor actually even dead. The PCs also will likely be made to appear as such during the course of the adventure. Felicity and Robert are clones of the original and likely only to be flaming when (if) the atmosphere ignites. They are not ghosts.
Possibly, the hoarded memories could count as ghosts. But, as they are located underground, I’m not certain how likely they will ever be aflame. I think maybe this ingredient would have been stronger if the memory angle had been better developed and the others either less emphasized or dropped altogether.
On the other hand, the flaming spirits of “Meat” are much more straightforward. They are an essential weapon against the xenomorph and a crucial resource to be protected when the NOMs turn on the colonists (and PCs). As such, “Meat” uses this ingredient best.
Harsh Reality
“Meat” is far less clear with this one. Presumably, the entire situation being covered up by the Company through Miss Primrose is meant to fit, but a number of situations therein might apply: the Company’s callous abandonment, the hibernating xenomorph, Miss Primrose’s programming, or the NOMs’ programming.
In “Burns” we have a cultivated illusion that has an underlying reality that cycles endlessly (or at least indefinitely) through high passion and murder. And if that cycle is interrupted, the atmosphere ignites. That’s harsh.
“Burns” has this one.
Gelatinous Pyramid
There are numerous gelatinous pyramids in “Burns”. The satellite, the knowledge hoard, the healing pyramids. Even the aliens, themselves. The ingredient, of course, is singular, so I suppose I should look for one of prime importance, but I’m not sure I can find one. They all fulfill their roles in the adventure.
Does it matter that they are gelatinous? It matters more that they are flammable, but the psychic jelly works. Why pyramids? I guess the best answer is why not? That doesn’t usually indicate irreplaceability of an element, but the fact that the shape makes garden gnomes an ideal illusion for the aliens is fun.
“Meat” gives a big pile of (mostly) bovine bodyparts that hides the xenomorph amidst its geletanized and frozen midst (as well as Miss Primrose’s secrets). That it isn’t, strictly speaking, a pyramid is overshadowed by the necessity that its massive and gelatinously conglomorated pile-shape influences the adventure. It must be thawed for the PCs to carry out their mission. Thus, this ingredient is crucial to the shape of the adventure and, therefore, better.
Dead to the World
“Meat” gives us an entire colony that has been written off by the Company and therefore is effectively dead to the world, assuming the world means everyone outside of the colony. That the PCs probably can’t save them adds significance to the ingredient. It’s good.
“Burns” gives us Katrina, who is presumed dead (aided by the aliens’ illusions to keep her isolated from their psy-garden). Her ability to ward her mind from the aliens’ illusions make her an important piece of the puzzle, especially because the PCs are going to need that protection.
This one looks like a draw.
Ancient Satellite
“Burns” gives us the orbiting pyramid that will likely crash into the atmosphere and ignite it. Additionally, the PCs will likely see and try to interact with it at the start, which will kick the chaos off pretty early in the adventure. That’s fun. The ancientness of it (and all of the alien setup) adds a fun layer to the mystery of the entry, but does raise the question I alluded to earlier (and one lesser question I will get to in a bit).
“Meat” sets its colony on an asteroid, which is ancient, but not significant. And not a satellite, either.
“Burns” takes this one handily.
Knowledge Hoarder
We get Miss Primrose in “Meat” keeping Company secrets from the colonists and taking steps to ensure they stay secret. This is an important element of the adventure, but they aren’t really being hoarded (that is, kept for the sake of being possessed or for their value).
The knowledge hoarded in “Burns” actually is valuable to the aliens (and will be to the PCs even after the adventure is concluded). That said, the relevance to the shape of the adventure seems a little less than in “Meat”.
I was going to give this one to “Burns”, but I think this one is a draw, too.
Rampaging Gnomes
The NOMs in “Meat” are an excellent additional betrayal of the Company. Their inevitable rampage will be glorious. But they are not gnomes. Their shape, size, and appearance somewhat resembling them has no real significance.
Of course, the aliens in “Burns” also are not gnomes. That they appear as such does at least matter, somewhat, though: they are intended to be ignored by the settlers and (once you get past the inherent creepiness of a bunch of garden gnomes placed all over your settlement) they pretty easily could be. Although – I do wonder what the settlers thought when they first got there and the gnomes were already there. Maybe they took on some other appearance at first?
At any rate, “Burns” fits better here.
Here we go.
“Burns” implements its ingredients better on the whole, but not by much. Even if the two adventures are equivalently good (which I think is the case, given the verisimilitudinous lapses it presents amidst its polish), So Real It Burns comes out ahead in this judgement.
As I write this, I do not know where the other judges will fall. No matter the outcome, I must emphasize that both of these entries are excellent.
I’m not sure I have much to offer in the way of advice for either contestant. humble minion is, of course, a previous IRON DM and, as such, has proven to know how to play this game. This entry seems like it might have been a little rushed, but that’s just how it goes sometimes. Life happens or inspiration strikes late. On the other hand, AustinHolm, you clearly get it. Even if you don’t advance, I’m sure you’ll do well in future tournaments.
That said, to whomever of you does advance this time, I offer a warning: as you get deeper into this tournament, the ingredients increase in importance. This is just a natural (and intentional) byproduct of their increasing number. Do with that information what you will.
FitzTheRuke’s Judgement for Round Two, Match One: AustinHolm vs Humble Minion.
Following the Rules
Both @AustinHolm’s So Real It Burns (henceforth “Burns”) and @humble minion’s Forgotten Meat (“Meat”) came in on time and under word-limit, cutting it close on one or the other.
This part’s a tie.
Readability & Structure
Both adventures are well-written and entertaining. I enjoyed both quite a bit.
I had a few very minor gripes with gripes with some of Burns' organization when I first read it, but after reading it a few times, I'm not sure that I remember exactly what they were specifically.
Meat has missing periods, the occasional words that are meant to be another word, or other absolutely extremely minor editorial mistakes (truly – this is terrible nit-picking, but I have an editor's eye and can't not see it.)
A teeny tiny bump to Burns.
Playing the Adventures
Or at least, how I imagine they would play. Honestly, both seem like they’d be fun. I’ve never played Mothership, nor an Alien RPG, but I can imagine how both would work. They’re surprisingly similar – the PCs arrive by spaceship to a working-class settlement, interact with the locals, discover a mystery, find themselves in danger, and work to escape. The details are very different, though.
Ultimately, Meat seems a little bit too scripted – the events happen the way they happen with very little that the PCs can do, even to rearrange their order. The PCs simply survive the scenario, or they don’t. It’s a very well-done Alien story, and it would probably come together as very fun to play and evokes the typical Alien scenario while being its own thing. I like it, but Burns slightly beats it in this category for having what I can imagine to be more room for the players to alter the course of events.
Another small bump to Burns.
Ingredients Usage
Of course, the most important thing is the use of ingredients. Let’s see how they do:
Flaming Spirits
In Burns, we have a multi-use: The presumed-dead Katrina has an alien-imposed psychic glamour that makes her appear as a flaming ghost, but she’s also spent thirty years making moonshine, which keeps her free of the alien’s psychic influence (by being drunk all the time). To top it off, her booze-still is likely to go boom, and even if it doesn’t, the PCs can use it for its Molotov Cocktails. Not all the uses are strong (the psychic glamour could have theoretically made her look like anything, or possibly even erase her) but they definitely get the job done. There’s ultimately little way to avoid the adventure containing “spirits” which are “on fire”.
In Meat, we also have burning booze, in the form of Flamethrowers improvised using “Heckfire Hooch”. It’s fun, but by comparison feels a little tacked on. Besides, in an Alien game, would the Agents of the Company have need to improvise weapons? They might, if it was forced on them, but I feel like players sitting down to play an Alien game would want at least a few of them to be decked out with weapons, even if the scenario pretends that they don’t know that they’re going to run into Xenomorphs. The players know.
One might question if the same should be true for Burns, and it’s a good point, but those PCs are there to investigate a murder that happened thirty years prior, to inform the plot of a docu-drama! Unlike Company folk in the Alien franchise, I can imagine them being much less prepared for the events that transpire.
I’ll give another bump to Burns.
Harsh Reality
In Burns, we have another psychic glamour – on the whole colony, which appears to look just like it would have thirty years ago, a small farming colony just getting started. In truth, it is thirty years gone to ruin, fed upon by alien slime.
In Meat, well, the reality there is pretty harsh, I suppose, but I’m not sure that I spot a more specific use of the ingredient. In fact, as I see it, one of the drawbacks to calling out your own uses of the ingredients by explicitly naming them in (brackets), is that when you fail to do so, it looks like the ingredient is missing, when it’s not really. When I first wrote Iron DM entries, I did that too, and I was essentially told to cut it out by a judge (I don’t remember who). IIRC, the advice was “Trust the Judge to be able to find your ingredients. If they can’t, then you probably haven’t done a good job with them”. Of course, we judges are also fallible, but I admit, I feel like the “calling it out” takes me out of the narrative. It’s also a crutch – I may find that I quickly search for the spot where you call it out and miss your more expansive use of the ingredient elsewhere. Or, like this one, find trouble finding it because you didn’t call it out, when I would otherwise read the whole thing through with an eye out for just that single ingredient.
All that said, I’m giving it to Burns again.
I’m a little surprised at this point, because I want to make it clear – I really like Meat. It’s a matter of fine degree.
Gelatinous Pyramid
Burns has multiple distinct gelatinous pyramids. I want to make it clear here that generally more doesn’t equate to better. That said, I can’t find too much fault with these. Sure, it’s convenient that they look like gnomes but are really pyramids, they are somehow gelatinous, but at the same time flammable. I guess that might be the weakest part of this ingredient - why gelatinous; why pyramids? They don’t really shapeshift into gnomes, they just make you think that they look like them. And they are only in the shape of pyramids because the text says so. They could probably be any shape at all and otherwise be the same. They also ultimately serve as multiple ingredients, as we shall see.
In Meat, we have a Fatberg in the “Larder”. It appears to be a pyramid simply because the (let’s call it) “material” drops down a chute and piles up that way. It’s appropriately disgusting for the horrific tone of the adventure, and it’s where we find our Xenomorph, so it’s important for the plot.
That’s one goes to Meat.
Dead to the World
In Burns, we have Katrina. She was thought to be dead even before the Massacre and has been drunk for 30 years. She’s effectively been “Dead to the World” for years, sure.
In Meat, the Asteroid staff is expecting to get paid out and go home eventually, but the company has (without telling anyone, naturally) decided that it’s too expensive, and they’ve abandoned them. The PCs are the last ship in and out, and they’re ostensibly there for one last cargo pickup. They’re certainly dead, and the world has forgotten them, yet still it feels not quite as strong as it ought to be to me.
Here I’m giving a very, very weak bump to Burns.
Ancient Satellite
Burns has an upside-down pyramid in orbit. The PCs can dock with it, in which case they’ll find out that it’s not the technological satellite that it appears to be, but rather part of the alien collective. It’s not entirely clear what role it plays, but PCs can find clues here. Also, they can blow it up. Unfortunately, it seems possible that they could blow it up as the very first thing that they would do when they arrive on the scene. (I know players who would do this). This would derail most of the rest of the scenario. But as an ingredient, it’s fine, if not spectacular. It’s only “Ancient” because we are told that it is.
Meat’s Satellite, we’re told is Ancient, and it has the feel of being so – it’s a mining asteroid that is running dry. It’s a space rock, which are ancient by their nature, but also it seems that it’s been mined for a long time. It’s simple, but it works.
I give the edge here to Meat.
Knowledge Hoarder
In Burns, we have the underground pyramid. Twin to the satellite, and I suppose, some kind of parent or god-figure to the smaller, gnomish creatures. It extracts memories (skills), and the PCs can, I think, gain some of the colonist’s abilities, or perhaps lose some of their own. I think it’s pretty clever.
In Meat, our Knowledge Hoarder is Miss Primrose, the Company Synth, who knows more than anyone else about what’s going on and keeps it to herself. While this is typical for Alien, it seems that her twist is that the NPCs are really fond of her. If I were running it, I’d try to make that true for the PCs as well.
I’ll call this a tie.
Rampaging Gnomes
Burns’ Gnomes go on a Rampage if the PCs set fire to either of the bigger pyramids, which seems likely to happen either at the very beginning, or (hopefully more likely) after most of the mysteries have been solved. They burn and thrash and chase. Works for me.
In Meat, the Non-Organic Mineworkers (NOMs, pronounced Gnomes) are reprogrammed by the Company Computers to protect the Xenomorph asset over their human companions. They destroy parts of the facility and attack anyone trying to defend themselves against the Alien. It’s not strong, but it does the trick.
This one’s also a tie.
In Conclusion
Adding it all up, it appears that my vote is for @AustinHolm to move forward to Round Three.
I'm not sure that I could have guessed it going in - I liked both entries enough to have not had a favorite between them when I started writing this judgement (a few days ago now).
I look forward to seeing what my fellow judges have to say!
