Is this a case of GM bias, if so, what to do?

[Ashrum the Black]

I suppose I'd have to actually observe thing to give you a real suggestion on favoritism. As it stands right now everything can be looked at as just a matter of DMing.

Giving the Tank good armor, seems like a natural fit to me when dishing things out. The bit about quickdraw, eh, I've considered it my self. The undead portion, well that does suck, but as a DM I'm made decisions myself that may screw one charater more than another or favored one more than the other.

In some cases my wife was happy with me, in others she wasn't. Told me things were pretty balanced. Then one of the female players accused me of favoring her and giving her cool things and none to the others. I didn't see it, but there it was.

I examined what I did and still didn't see it, so the player left the group in a huff. :\ I personally think she was focusing to much on the things my wife got and not looking at what she had. She had "cool" items, but she under utilized them and complained that my wifes were better.

(I utilized leveled weapons and my wife sank a lot of xp into her weapon. By contrast that player never did sink much into her weapon and then complained hers wasn't a good. )

What it tought me was that sometimes people will sometimes see a problem where none truely exists. Talk to the DM concerning your issues, in private. Maybe he just needs to nudge his wife into a more combat instensive build. It sounds like that's what she wants to be playing anyway. But also let him know that your SO is feeling a little jilted as well, and ask him to see what he can do. Modify the undead traits, or give her a personally designed shiney or something. Just so they both feel like he's paying attention to them and not "penalizing them".

Once they're both feeling the love so to speak, things can move on. Of course if the DMW is still whining about things, and generally making a pest of herself in that regard it may be time to move on. Some woman just can't handle another woman around. Especialy one that takes the light from them. Heck, I've seen woman that can't even have another woman as a friend without self destructing the realtionship because of that.

Talk to the DM, it's the only way you'll sort things out.

-Ashrum

 

[tonym]

... the GM and my SO are currently arguing by e-mail about the how the changes effect her character. He is arguing that the special abilities granted balance out the penalty....

I'd suggest your SO attend another session. Before the game begins, she should say to the DM, "It seems like my character got hosed. But you think otherwise, so I'll play and see if you are right."

Then you say, "I agree with her" and hold her hand and frown at the DM.

Then, during the game, everytime your SO's character misses with her bow or fails a Reflex save or has some other penalty related to her lowered Dex, you scream, "THERE! She failed! Because you HOSED her! See? She was hosed and you hosed her and that's why she failed!"

And later, when the DM drops his d20 and it falls off the table and rolls under your chair, you say, "Pick up your own die, hoser!"

Wow. That advice might be the worst advice I ever gave. Proceed with caution.



Tony M

 

[TheEvil]

So what happened to the other characters during the transformation? We don't really have enough evidence (yet) to conclude that this was done to hose your SO's PC's Dex unless nobody else got penalties in the transformation.

*snip*

To clear up any misconceptions, here is the roll out on our characters (the only ones I have any knowledge of):

Me, some kind of Revanant: +4 on strength, +2 on charisma, 5/+1 damage reduction and a bunch of immunities.

Her, some kind of vampire: +2 str and -4 dex, +6 natural armor, spiderclimb, gaseous form, dominate (DC14) blood drain, slam attack with energy drain, and some resistances.

She got a pretty good deal, I think most will agree, but ones that just happen to strike right at the heart of the strengths GMW vocally complained commented on. By comparison, mine only helped me, even the charisma bonus since my Rage ability is now charisma based.

Now, there are some red flags here, but you point out that the DM doesn't pull any punches during the game. So he may not be aware of what he's doing. Have you pulled him aside for a little one-on-one about this? Better yet, what about your SO doing it? For something like this, email may be a bit clunky or prone to misinterpretation when it comes to emotions.

Talking to would be my prefered approach, but distances and schedules make that somewhat unlikely. Also, we are not friends outside of the game.
Amen on the e-mail comments though.

As far as the competitiveness, don't a lot of male players vie for the spotlight? So how is that a red flag?

As a card carrying feminist, in the couple of experiences where another woman entered a gaming group, the preexisting one seemed to get a bit competitive. My experience is limited, however.

 

[tensen]

Quickdraw as a feat looks pretty sucky when you think that anyone over 1st level can basically draw their weapon as part of a move action. However ask the players who take the feat for other reasons, and you will find they really appreciate the feat.

Thrown weapon experts most especially.
Those that use multiple sorts of weapons and want to change between them.

It sounds like the awkwardness is that the other character with Improved Initiative and Quickdraw was designed with a specific concept in mind... that sort of got overshadowed by someone with a high dex.

However.. step back from the game and take a look. Don't compare characters or things.. Do you enjoy the game or not?

 

[TheEvil]

Thanks for the responses so far!

Think I will do a general response post now:

The game is set in Ravenloft and we have been bouncing around different domains so far. The game is more roleplaying based then combat based, and the GM gives XP for overcoming challenges, not killing things, basically, all XP is plot XP (something we like). One session had absolutely no combat, and it was a blast.

Are we having fun:
Yes. I can say that this campaign has reaquinted me with the love of roleplaying. We also feel that the GM also runs a pretty good storyline. However, GMs playing favorites is a BIG show stopper for me, even if I am on the good side of it. After the first night with the ad hoc ruling on Quick Draw, we were pretty close to dropping the game right there. If you think a feat is weak, giving it something else, don't take things from the other player. Heck, let her pick another feat if she doesn't like it anymore, esp. since she is a new player.

I do feel that talking to him in private, or by e-mail is the best route, as it is pretty obvious to me that he doesn't like having his authority challenged at the table, so to speak.

SO is not a big fan of getting lots of toys, and the low magic nature of this campaign suits her just fine. It is more a matter that her complaints seem to get addressed. For the record, when we recently found a suit of full plate, we immediately gave it to GMW character, since she was the most suited for it.

The fact that he shot himself in the foot on trust right off the bat has, I think, made this a bigger issue. Exactly why I think it is time to address the matter openly with him now. Tell him what it looks like from our point of view. On the down side, since whatever is said will almost certainly get back to GMW, this could get a whole lot of ugly, even if he does take it will.

Bad Tonym, no biscuit.

Keep the comments coming!

 

[ph34r]

Does your GM have a firm grasp on the rules and how everything works? Not being able to draw a weapon as part of a move action because it makes Quick Draw useless is stupid.

"So you're telling me I can't run 60 ft. and draw a knife at the same time?...No!....*Door shuts*"

And to your GMW, who gives a crap if your SO's to hit bonus is higher. It's not like she cheated. Everything she did was by the rules. Sounds like she just likes to complain about things.

Maybe finding a new group or starting your own would probably be the best thing to do, but what do I know?

 

[TheEvil]

However.. step back from the game and take a look. Don't compare characters or things..

Advice that the GMW seems in great need of. She is actually the only one doing this sort of thing.
FWIW, our characters were made with no knowledge of what the others were playing, just what classes were covered so far. SO picked a rogue/ranger because she likes them. I took a barbarian/fighter because I wanted a break from spell casting and skill monkeying (and it has been very nice). In hindsight, I should have made a cleric.

 

[ph34r]

However ask the players who take the feat for other reasons, and you will find they really appreciate the feat.

Thrown weapon experts most especially.
Those that use multiple sorts of weapons and want to change between them.

Don't forget rogues who like to sneak attack people!

OMG, Stealth Kill! pwn!

 

[JesterPoet]

If you find yourself fuming the whole way home you are better off playing canasta once a week with some old ladies.

HEY!!! I like canasta!


/doesn't know what canasta is

 

[trentonjoe]

HEY!!! I like canasta!


/doesn't know what canasta is

Maybe the single hardest card game that makes no sense whatsoever.

www.pagat.com/rummy/canasta.html