Jealousy

[s/LaSH]

Joke or no, it would be a hit in Japan... any teacher who knows the first thing about Japanese pop culture will recognise that!

(Also, you have to post that rant in Japanese - I don't speak it myself, but it'll surely sound awesome.)

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

"I am really the Ninja overlord of the ENworld forums. All weekend I cut peoples heads off and devour their souls. I often eat babies. One day I shall rule the entire universe. I am the Lexx, I am the most powerful weapon of destrcution in the two universes. After nine years of pure awesomeness the smoke cleared and only the ninjas and pirates were left, but to kill Sigma they had to throw the moon at him. But the Gelatinous Cubes knew that that would not be enough, so they blew him up with the Death Star, but then the ninjas turned into fireballs, and volcanoes, and presidents. Then the SWAT team came and killed them all with their totally awesome laser swords with guns."

Actually, that sounds like every passage of translated Japanese I've ever heard. "Super Karate Monkey Death Car", anyone?

 

[The Horror]

Don't worry about the Japanese man. Switch courses to something you enjoy, and try to have a good time with it. Then after graduation go on over to Japan for a few months/years. You'll pick it up guaranteed.