Jobs that Zombies can have, and some they should not.

[Cerubus Dark]

You know seeing all these Zombie movies has got me thinking. (uh oh here it comes). Zombies are getting a really bad rap lately. I mean would you like it if some looney came up and shot you in the head when you where just shambling around?

Well in order to help out our undead friends here are some jobs that Zombies should avoid.
1. Child Care: The temptation to eat the brians of the little tykes might be too much for a zombie to resist. Plus a 2 year old can out run you.
2. Food Service Worker: The last thing a customer wants to see in their bigmac is a big chunk of rotting fleash.
3. Doctor: Nobody wants to see a Zombie Doctor, can't figure out why.
4. Movie Projectionist: Okay, Zombies we have seen your movies now play something else.
5. Lifegaurd: Zombies tend to sink to the bottom of a pool.

Of course here are some jobs that Zombies can be great at!
1. Stunt person: Your already dead so you can do deadly stunts that noone else could.
2. Prison Gaurd: Your dead, do you really care if they stab you?
3. Road bump: You slow down traffic!
4. Politcian: Hey your brain is rotted out, not that you need it for this job.
5. Extra in a Zombie Movie: Jeez a natural talant for this

Got any more?

 

[green slime]

Sewage Maintenance: It smells bad down there already... it isn't like you are going make it worse... and it hardly matters if you should lose a body part or three...

Elevator Operator. These guys always freak me out anyway. Just standing in a little box all day...

deep sea diver: Who needs to worry about expensive breathing gas mixtures when you don't breathe?

High School Students: They don't do anything constructive but stare at the mystical writings on the blackboard. They regularly achieve a zomboid state on a biweekly basis.

 

[Altalazar]

Sports Announcer - They just say and groan the same thing over and over and over again, talking for the sake of talking.
Corporate Executive - See Sports Announcer above.

 

[William Ronald]

Some VERY IMPORTANT jobs that zombies should avoid are listed below:

Proofreader at gaming companies

Errata writers at gaming companies

Gaming shop employees -- if zombies don't gnaw on the customers, they might start chewing on the dice.

Workers at gaming conventions -- the lines at Gen Con are long enough.

 

[MarauderX]

Good:

- Construction laborers - they can haul bricks all day long, without a break and no complaints!
- Bouncers for Ozzfest '04 - somehow they don't enjoy the music quite as much as everyone else, and the peeps think they are the coolest.
- DJ for Top 100 pop music - they can't kill themselves after hearing the same song again day after day after day.


Bad:

- Court-appointed Lawyers - not so good with words, or even intelligible speach. Wouldn't want one to get me out of even a traffic ticket.
- Architect - everything they design looks like a coffin...

 

[WayneLigon]

Top Ten Jobs Zombies Should Not Have.

10. Carnival Ride Operator. Screams of terror from patrons not unsettling to zombies.
09. Grade School Teacher. Inability to keep tongue from falling out of mouth creates too much distraction in classroom.
08. Quality Control Testing. Zombies don't care if parts get lopped off by shoddy product.
07. Forester. Zombie + Chainsaw is bad combination.
06. Postal Worker. Zombie cannot dodge assault weapons fire from co-workers.
05. Telemarketer. No, wait, that's Top Ten Jobs Humans Should Not Have.
04. Marine Biologist. Dangling flaps of flesh too tempting for fish to resist.
03. Soldier. Too prone to stopping to devour enemy.
02. Weight Loss Counselor. Ability of zombie to eat anything it wants without gaining weight too intimidating to patients.


And the Number One Job a Zombie Should Not Have...

Midwife. Too much like a vending machine.

 

[Wombat]

2. Food Service Worker: The last thing a customer wants to see in their bigmac is a big chunk of rotting fleash.

Lord of the Fries! Give Me The Brain!

 

[Mercule]

And the Number One Job a Zombie Should Not Have...

Midwife. Too much like a vending machine.

Sir, that is a whole new level of sick and wrong.

Heh. Cool. Heh. Heh.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Good job for a zombie:

Any position at a fast food restaurant - They move faster than most people who work there, they can reach right into the deep fryer to pull out that chicken pattie they dropped, and their voice sounds no worse through the drive-thu speakers than normal.

 

[Cerubus Dark]

Hehe, I am glad I started this now, thanks!