What do you call someone who is half Orc and half Dwarf? Ugly.
Jokes overheard in Ye Olde Fantasy Tavern
- Thread starter Wicht
- Start date
"Beguiler? I hardly knew her!"
Wicht
Hero
But never to their face.
How could you tell?
Oryan77
Adventurer
Here is a scenario I once used consisting of "dumb orc" jokes...
*A Bard named Lucious who specializes in ventriloquism is performing with his puppet named Luvets.
Puppet: I've got a few good jokes for ya ……..! Let me know if you've ever heard any of these. So what's the fastest way to get a one-armed Half-Orc out of a tree?"
Puppet: "You just WAVE at the poor fool!"
Puppet: "Ok..ok..so how do you get a Half-Orc to laugh at a joke on Tuesday?"
Puppet: "Ya tell it to him on Monday!"
Puppet: "So did ya hear what happened to the smartest Half-Orc in the world?"
Puppet: "His foot got stuck in a bear trap while adventuring, he chewed off his leg, and was still stuck in the trap!"
*Just then, a very large, very mean-looking Half-Orc in the back of the room stands up and growls. He throws his mug of ale down on the ground and it shatters. Then he slams his fist into the table, breaking off a good sized chunk of wood.
Half-Orc: "I'm sick of this blood making fun of Half-Orcs and saying we're stupid! I outta rip yer head clean off yer neck!"
*The bard quickly throws his hands up in the air apologetically and looks very nervous.
Bard: "My apologies Cutter. Didn't mean anything personal. I was just trying to get some cheap laughs to liven up the audience."
Half-Orc: "Sir, I wasn't talking to you so keep quiet! I was talkin to the little smart-a** sitting on your lap!"
*A Bard named Lucious who specializes in ventriloquism is performing with his puppet named Luvets.
Puppet: I've got a few good jokes for ya ……..! Let me know if you've ever heard any of these. So what's the fastest way to get a one-armed Half-Orc out of a tree?"
Puppet: "You just WAVE at the poor fool!"
Puppet: "Ok..ok..so how do you get a Half-Orc to laugh at a joke on Tuesday?"
Puppet: "Ya tell it to him on Monday!"
Puppet: "So did ya hear what happened to the smartest Half-Orc in the world?"
Puppet: "His foot got stuck in a bear trap while adventuring, he chewed off his leg, and was still stuck in the trap!"
*Just then, a very large, very mean-looking Half-Orc in the back of the room stands up and growls. He throws his mug of ale down on the ground and it shatters. Then he slams his fist into the table, breaking off a good sized chunk of wood.
Half-Orc: "I'm sick of this blood making fun of Half-Orcs and saying we're stupid! I outta rip yer head clean off yer neck!"
*The bard quickly throws his hands up in the air apologetically and looks very nervous.
Bard: "My apologies Cutter. Didn't mean anything personal. I was just trying to get some cheap laughs to liven up the audience."
Half-Orc: "Sir, I wasn't talking to you so keep quiet! I was talkin to the little smart-a** sitting on your lap!"
Grumpy RPG Reviews
Explorer
I once tried to tell a fantasy version of the Aristocrats joke in a game only to be stopped by the GM.
Yeah, I bet!
