Just now I checked myself for brain damage, and I realized I can't angst

[RangerWickett]

I yawned really intensely just a few minutes ago, and I felt something pop around my jaw joint. Nervous for a moment, I decided to see if perhaps my brain was damaged.

First came the knowledge and logic tests. Can I remember my name? Where am I? What's 5 factorial? Recite the alphabet, then backwards. All those went okay.

Hand-eye coordination appears fine.

Maybe, I think, my emotional center's fried. So I go down a checklist of emotions, trying to conjure up how each of them feel.

Love? Aww, I get tingly and smile a bit.

Hate? I imagine being very angry, and get a bit hot.

Joy? I grin widely and feel like doing a jig.

Sadness? I get a little down.

Awesome? I feel like I rock!

Angst? . . .

And instead of feeling an overwhelming bleakness pressing down upon me, I feel exasperated and amused. I feel like I'm trying to recite lines from a dramatic play just after a castmate farted loudly. I feel unable to keep a straight face, since I know I'd be faking it anyway.

This makes me happy.

One last emotion for the road, though. Quixotic. I have this wide-eyed, wild desire to travel to Wizards of the Coast, show them my work, and then lead them to the promised land. Maybe I've got my 'Quixotic' crossed with my 'Messianic,' but I figure it's close enough. *grin*

 

[MavrickWeirdo]

Here let me help.

Imagine you are dating a really exciting woman, and she seems to enjoy your company, but she is a 'mundane', and you haven't told her about being a gamer/writer yet, and she wants to meet some of your friends.

Feeling the Angst yet?

 

[RangerWickett]

Trepidation, perhaps. Anxiousness, sure. But angst? No.

I think it'd be more like, imagine you have been cursed so that every night you must kill someone and drink their blood. Maybe then I would feel "a profound and deep-seated spiritual condition of insecurity and despair."

 

[Umbran]

You wanna feel angst? I'll give you angst...

The fact that you can't feel angst means you'll never again fully grasp the joy that is schadenfreude. Your lack of pain means an equivalent lack of appreciation for joy. Have a nice day.

 

[RangerWickett]

Spoiler

Woe is me.

 

[Einan]

Wow. I think Umbran gets the Mission Accomplished award!

Einan

 

[Simplicity]

Perhaps you're looking in the wrong place...

Angst In My Pants Lyrics
by Sparks

I hope it doesn't show
It'll go 'way
It's just a passing phase
It'll go 'way

You can dress nautical
Learn to tie knots
Take lots of Dramamine
Out on your yacht
But when you're all alone
And nothing bites
You'll wish you stayed at home
With someone nice
But when you think you made it disappear
It comes again, "Hello, I'm here", and
I've got angst in my pants

You can be smart as hell
Know how to add
Know how to figure things
On yellow pads
Answer so no one knows
What you just said
But when you're all alone
You and your head
What's the computer say, it's mumbling now
It says "hey Joe"
It's spelled it out and
"You've got angst in your pants"
"You've got angst in your pants"

But when you think you've made it disappear
You're sure you made it disappear
And you've still got angst in your pants

I hope it doesn't show
It'll go 'way
It's just a passing phase
It'll go 'way
I hope it doesn't show
It'll go 'way
Give it a hundred years
It won't go 'way
And I've got angst in my pants
I've got angst in my pants

 

[MavrickWeirdo]

You wanna feel angst? I'll give you angst...

The fact that you can't feel angst means you'll never again fully grasp the joy that is schadenfreude. Your lack of pain means an equivalent lack of appreciation for joy. Have a nice day.

Of course once you feel the angst over being unable to feel angst, then you will have known angst, so you can be happy. :\

 

[Bront]

That popping was us replacing your brain with an artificial simulation. You will recieve further orders later.

 

[ssampier]

Spoiler

Woe is me.

Is that angst I see?