Keeping elves from overpopulating

[Pseudonym]

Where's Forrester when you need a good elf rant?

*sigh*

 

[ThirdWizard]

There is usually no such thing as an elven male, all elves are actually female. Now, every few hundred years or so, however, when the conditions are right and the population is a bit low, elven women start spontaneously turning into elven men. Only a small amount of the population, for some reason. Afterward, they revert back into females. Nine months later, little baby elves are born and the mothers rejoice.

During the period between these events many half-elves are born.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Saltpeter in the water?

Oh cripe!

 

[Sejs]

Oh no, it's not that all elven men are.. you know.. that way or anything. Elves are by nature heterosexual. It's just that, well, elven men look so much like elven women that a few cases of mistaken identity are bound to crop up from time to time. You know how it is. It's late, you've had a few drinks, you meet some nice girl, find somewhere quiet and have a little fun... later on you find out you both stand up when you pee. Then around the same time you both realize your mistake, you likewise become aware that barring the unforseen you're both going to be around for the next few hundred years easily, and it'd probably best to not go about alienating everyone, so you just smile, play it off as nothing, and both amicably go on your seperate ways.

Perfectly innocent. Could happen to anyone.

 

[Tinner]

There is usually no such thing as an elven male, all elves are actually female. Now, every few hundred years or so, however, when the conditions are right and the population is a bit low, elven women start spontaneously turning into elven men. Only a small amount of the population, for some reason. Afterward, they revert back into females. Nine months later, little baby elves are born and the mothers rejoice.

During the period between these events many half-elves are born.

"Life finds a way." eh?
So are you saying that elves have frog DNA?

 

[jasper]

darn you tinner to first level of Dante you stole my idea. I need to think less loudly.

 

[Zappo]

I kinda liked the idea where elves, dwarves and halflings are all the same race, being the females, males and children of the race respectively. I wouldn't use it in a campaign, but it's nifty. It does away with the dwarven woman problem, it gives the DM an excuse to make all elves ultra-hot chicks, and gives the players a justification to their kleptomaniac halflings' suicidally immature behaviour.

 

[cmanos]

I just figured out what keeps elves from overbreeding over their long life spans.

Most of them are "faeries," IYKWIMAITYD.

VERY bad taste, considering I'm Gay......

 

[reveal]

VERY bad taste, considering I'm Gay......

And if you weren't gay, would you still think it bad taste?

 

[Goobermunch]

And if you weren't gay, would you still think it bad taste?

I don't think that matters.

It's kind of like making a joke about Jewish people when you're standing in a room with one. While it might have seemed innocent at the time, you're still hopping around with your foot in your mouth.

And for the record, I'm straight and find it to be in poor taste.

--G