Lamest character deaths ever!

[Piratecat]

1. The 3rd level barbarian, murdered in his sleep by horses, prior to the first fight of the campaign. A pair of evil horses with psychic powers, but still, murdered in his sleep by horses.

Err -- sorry about that. If it's any consolation, I almost made them cows.

~ The author

 

[Chimera]

Err -- sorry about that. If it's any consolation, I almost made them cows.

~ The author

That would have been more fun.

[Kids in the Hall]

It's the Night of the Cows

[/Kids in the Hall]

Either that or they belong to Kemps. ("It's the Cows")


Mooo, baby!

 

[The Madhatter]

Carolfi!

A mid-level ftr/rog (?) killed by a maid with a candlestick during a break-in/assassination. Critical hit to the head and he folded. We didn't even kill the maid, we let her go.

 

[edventure]

Eek it's a squirrel!

In Rolemaster we had a Flying Squirrel attack a character from a tree. A 0 level creature mind you. The DM rolled a crit on the attack and a 66 on the crit table. Those familiar with rolemaster knows what a 66 means, instant death.

Also we had a player that always insisted on high-warrior monks. When he was fighting an alligator he hit on a crit that let him throw his opponent in any direction. Where did he throw the gator? Why of course at the party mage casting spells from the "safety" of a treebranch. Score one dead mage.

 

[Ricochet]

Call of Cthulhu, with a master GM. We were in a modern game, at this nobles estate, and people were dropping like flies because the dude was a vampire, and we had no means of escape. Well finally, we are down to three people (started 12, this was a Con game), and my character managed to get away from the mansion into the open countryside. I found some railroad tracks, and decided to follow them, hoping to get to some town away from all the killings. Suddenly I see this light coming towards me, and making loud sounds. I pull my knife, and ready against the impending charge... of a freight train!

The GM had me and the others so paranoid, we didn't even see this one coming, although it was so very obvious. Afterwards, I thought "man that was lame, but also very cool", and it turned out my character was the only one NOT killed by the vampire, so that's something.

 

[tarchon]

A mid-level ftr/rog (?) killed by a maid with a candlestick during a break-in/assassination. Critical hit to the head and he folded. We didn't even kill the maid, we let her go.

Oh, that happened to me once, though it was Miss Scarlett in the library.

 

[RichCsigs]

While going home from the latest adventure, the party is attacked by a group of giant wasps. I step forward; the rest of the party goes & hides behind the big rock (cowardly bastards!). They end up knocking me unconscious, but don't kill me.
I'm playing a cleric of the goddess of death in my brother's home made campaign. As a result, he is adamant that he never receives unnatural (read: magical) healing (and yes, he also refused to cast it). Respecting his wishes, the rest of the party doesn't heal him. They create a stretcher type device so that the two mules can pull him along.
This was all well and good until the three hungry griffons showed up and pounced on the mules... and that convenient lunch sack they were pulling. A few munches later and I was done.

But wait, that's not the lame part.

The party is rolling well and is making rather quick work of the griffons, so they decide to just pick up their lunches and leave. Well, the one that grabs my carcass is pretty low on hit points and two arrows later, he's dead.... and falls to the ground... on top of my character.
The next round another of the griffons is killed while flying in the air... above my body. So it was me, a griffon on top of me, then one of the mules and then another griffon. All in a big pile.

 

[Crass]

We had a TPK from a bunch of dire rats( i think they were dire and not just normal rats) And to add insult to injury, the sorc cast a sleep spell with my dwarven fighter right in the middle. So there I was asleep with about 6 or 7 gigantic rats.

To this day our party(new charachters, same players) fears nothing except for vermin. The vermin will get you everytime.

That's a classic akin to a near-miss one of our characters(call him 'GK') had. We were second level at the time. Bitten by a dire rat, GK caught some fever which drained con, failed to save, lost more con, etc... he went from 17 con to 3 con before another party member took pity on him, dragged his sorry carcass to a pawnbroker, sold his items for a pittance, and used the funds to have a cleric cast Remove Disease.

Same player - different character, same campaign, now 16th level or so - GK was riding a phantasmal steed. We met a blue dragon, annoyed it, and had almost killed the critter. The dragon breathed in GK's direction, the phantasmal steed snuffed it. GK fell about 300 feet, suffered 20d6 or so damage - 51 points, if I recall correctly... He was a cleric/monk, saves in the high 20's. GK rolled a 1, died of massive damage. We got distracted by GK yelling "I'll be right, one of you come down and pick me up" in mid-fall, when he died we were so busy laughing the dragon escaped...

 

[Connorsrpg]

Planted

I Dmed a (very short) Dark Sun solo campaign once.
Those who had the first flip-book module may remember this one..

After spending quite some time rolling up a character (a three multi-classed elf) said character was running down a road towards Tyr, when he stopped to inspect some tangled throny growth on the side of the road. After a bit, he chopped the stuff open. The worm-like living interior, shot out and strangled the guy in a few rounds, as he attempted unsuccessfully to free himself.

So the adventure lasted shorter than character generation, and was so funny b/c he had to tell everyone that the first PLANT he found killed him.

Connors

 

[The Forsaken One]

Well Thanee, jumping voer a 5ft chasm in armor without any ranks in jump and carrying alot fo equip makes it a very real possibility

And the guy got shot while jumping from the window, that kinda stuff