Celebrim
Legend
While I don't try to make the spells themselves crimes the first scenario here would be treated as rape, the second as theft.
That's the traditional view I think most DMs have, and I think that is the assumption players usually make. If I don't use 'charm person' to commit a crime, then it's not wrong to use the spell. I think a few juvenile players might even assume that no violence is involved in 'charm person' and that the person 'consented', but I think that's pretty easy to dispense with.
But I came to feel that it was wholly inadequate. Mind control, even if not used to commit a crime, I think remains a crime largely equivalent to rape regardless of what it was used for. I say largely equivalent to rape because unlike rape, you could at least make a self-defense claim regarding mind control (that I think being the reason rape is often seen as more horrible than murder). But fundamentally, the reason the crime is heinous isn't because of its potential for abuse, but because it's always heinous to steal from someone their power of choice. Think about how you'd feel if you discovered someone had used 'charm person' on you.
And even if you don't agree with that, I think it's easy to see why a society would still write it's laws that way out of sheer bloody-minded. survival instinct. If something is real and a daily possibility, it very much changes your relationship to it. I think there is a mental gulf of understanding between the person in this world thinking about it, and how they'd think about it in a world were it happened.