Let them go?

[Man in the Funny Hat]

I was planning on running D&D 5e, but I'm not where I wanted to close with SR nor am I ready with the D&D campaign yet.

This seems like as good a place to start as any. Whether it was done rightly or wrongly it sounds like you SR game is done whether YOU wanted to finish it or not. What are you going to do? FORCE the players to keep playing a game that YOU KNOW they are no longer interested in playing in any fashion whatever? I sympathize that you still want to play a bit more to wrap it up properly but as Mick said, you can't always get what you want. You're just gonna have to let that one go.

Next, -IF- you're going to still run the 5E game then you need to do some work on it to get it ready, yes? Well, if you need time to do so then you need to inform the players that you need time to do so. If that means doing something completely unrelated for the next game session or two, or maybe just having everyone take a break from gaming entirely for a session or two (which by the sound of things is not an awful idea in and of itself) then do so. Run the 5E game when YOU are ready.

Yet half my gaming group is apparently ready to quit SR, and rather than talking to me about their desire to play D&D instead of SR, three of the players decided to have a conversation about basically shunting me into Dungeon Master mode by derailing the SR campaign and providing non-participation at the table.

This is a problem. Whether it will be an ONGOING problem is something that needs to be ironed out between you and your players. They need to know that plotting behind your back to sandbag the ongoing game, rather than TELL you that they just really don't want to play SR anymore is a **** move. It's SERIOUSLY rude and disrepectful and you should politely ask them to apologize for it. Whether you'll get an apology or not should tell you a lot about just what kind of players you really have there. You may need some additional consideration about choosing to run games for them if they're going to unapologetically treat you that way.

It was discussed, he offered to sit out the rest of the campaign but then rescinded because he wanted to play with the group. And now after a shared trip with two others in the group, suddenly they also are not wanting to play SR anymore when they haven't ever expressed anything of that nature to me.

Of course you can let them know that you really wanted to wrap up the SR game properly, but again, it really sounds like one way or another that ship has sailed, so let it go. They do need to know, however, that it just doesn't work to have the PLAYERS trying to run the game. You sit in the DM's chair for a reason and until they INFORM you otherwise they have every obligation to respect the time and effort that you put into running the game FOR THEM. Hey, if they truly don't want to play SR anymore you can't force them to play it - but they have to have the testicular fortitude to at least be upfront about it. That business of, "I don't want to play this... Okay, I'll keep playing for a while... Hey, we all decided we're not gonna play SR anymore and instead you're going to run 5E for us..."? That inability to stick to a decision isn't going to work and needs to end.

He also brought his young teen son to the an adult game and lets him plop out a dice bag without even asking the rest of the group about how they feel about that and if the kid can join in.

This also needs to be directly addressed. It may be the players choice about whether he believes his teen son is mature enough for your mature game - but it's YOUR choice about whether you are comfortable running a mature game for young players. It's also SERIOUSLY bad form to invite ANYONE into a game without asking the DM first. It doesn't matter if you're inviting your girlfriend, your husband, your great-grandfather or 6 year-old child. You ASK PERMISSION. This issue of maturity of the gameplay versus the perceived maturity of the participants is only one obvious factor in why that is so. Now you need to make a decision about the game you ARE going to run (if you're going to run it at all.) It's your choice about what kind of game to run and who you're going to allow to participate - and why. But obviously you then also need to consider the consequences of refusing the players teen son permission to participate. Will the player get angry? Will others? Is it going to be a significant enough issue that people decide to leave the group? Can't answer those questions for you - you have to find out the answers for yourself and live with the choices that you make.

From here on out I am pretty much in a position I do not want to be in.

If it's any consolation it sounds like it wasn't YOUR choice to be in this position. You were put here by the choices of your "friends", the players. They get to live with the consequences of their choices too.

I am not over fond of confrontation within what amounts to a social group of people I considered friends, but at the same time I feel like this guy is flexing his Alpha at me or something and trying to dictate what I will and will not bring to the table and who will be a part of this circle.

People CANNOT take advantage of you if you don't give them permission. Decide what YOU want and what consequences you are willing to abide by when you choose it.

Mainly what I am looking for are any suggestions on how to handle this confrontation when it occurs, because I know it will happen. Should I even attempt any further conversation when this guy isn't even willing to talk to me as I asked in the beginning?

If you have players that are genuinely not willing to talk to you about the conditions of your participation or their participation in the game then YOUR GAME IS DONE anyway and you just have to come to grips with that fact. If the players are still willing to talk about it then you at least have a chance of salvaging the situation.

Is diplomacy even called for here since it's clear this guy is willing to go behind my back to force my hand into doing what he wants me to in some kind of high school cliquish power play, or should I just cut my losses here and tell him to gtfo?

Well, have YOU asked HIM why he's doing what he's doing? Of course diplomacy is still called for. Ultimatums are simply not going to achieve the effect you say you want. Diplomacy may fail too, but in 40 years of gaming I have never - NEVER EVER - heard of a situation anything like the one you describe being satisfactorily resolved by anything but diplomacy and communication. Telling someone to gtfo is what comes when diplomacy and communication options have been exhausted. Again, if your gaming group isn't ALREADY dead then keeping it from dying is only going to happen by diplomacy. You may not like your choices. The players may not like THEIR choices at this point either. But that's the reality of it.

 

[Wednesday Boy]

...you should politely ask them to apologize for it. Whether you'll get an apology or not should tell you a lot about just what kind of players you really have there.

I think the rest of your advice is spot on. I think they need to discuss the issue frankly and I think Icharbezol deserves an apology. But I don't recommend asking for one. I think it could come off as a demand (even if asked politely) which will cause the offenders to dig in their heels rather than discussing the issue openly. And in my experience with my kids, the best way to get an insincere apology is to ask or demand it.