Lethological Grammatacator

[Felix]

I'm in the middle of reading the Dying Earth books and Vance has some really quirky magic items. That, and if you'll reference my .sig, I like obscure words. Well, "Lethologica" means the inability to recall the proper word. To be used in "it's on the tip of my tongue" kid of situations. So I thought a magic item that alleviated this problem would be fun. So if you all will help out with the creation and the spells needed, I submit to you:

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Felix's Lethological Grammatacator
Unlike Dictionaries, using which a person may search for the proper word for a given circumstance, the Lethological Grammaracator searches your vocabulary for the best word to fit the circumstance. The Lethological Grammatacator assists people in negotiations and in bluffs by providing impressive exactitude in phrasology. It resembles an ancient tome, but its size and content depends upon the intelligence of the holder. Unfortunately, the Grammatacator has a low opinion of unintelligent people, and considers most people to be of low intelligence. It is not slow to point out the foibles in others.
Benefit Felix's Lethological Grammatacator provides a bonus to Bluff, Intimidate and Diplomacy checks equal to the wielder's INT bonus. The larger the vocabulary of the wielder, the more daunting the words the Grammatacator provides become.

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Now, I'd like to have this be an intelligent item, but don't want to use the weapon rules, since I don't see this thing having a purpose, an ability, or special powers beyond what was made. I just want a really friggin smart obnoxious book that tells you the proper words to say. Words like profunditoristic tramstibulations.

So... what do you think?

 

[Nifft]

I like the idea! I think you could give it a special purpose, tho'...

Special Purpose: Make people speak gooder common... er, more well common.
Special Purpose Power: Silence

This could be a good thing, even in combat... taunt the ogre who's guarding the evil wizard, and that ogre gets silence 15 ft. radius smacked on his illiterate butt.

-- N

 

[Fieari]

Although you labeled it as humor, I -really- like this item. I do agree that it's purpose is pretty clear... you know, to help people with vocabulary, but I'm not so sure about "Silence" as an extra ability. It's interesting enough merely able to speak. And taunting would be enough for combat as well, and it would be really quirky and memorable for any game.

This is great!

 

[Salthorae]

intelligence

You chould still use the weapons rules for guidlines. For instance, instead of it having three mental stats, maybe only two? Intelligence (obviously), and Charisma (really low, like a dretch tanarii ), then combine the int and wis score for an "wicked smart" book...?

Special purpose: Defeat idiocy in the world through grandiosity in words! Special power could be Tongues on the owner, that would allow him to be verbose in any language, for a time or even continuously....

So far though i like, it's fun

 

[Felix]

Right. Well considered. Here's a go at the Intelligent version of F'sLG

Felix's Lethological Grammatacator

Unlike Dictionaries, using which a person may search for the proper word for a given circumstance, the Lethological Grammaracator searches your vocabulary for the best word to fit the circumstance. The Lethological Grammatacator assists people in negotiations and in bluffs by providing impressive exactitude in phrasology. It resembles an ancient tome, but its size and content depends upon the intelligence of the holder. Unfortunately, the Grammatacator has a low opinion of unintelligent people, and considers most people to be of low intelligence. It is not slow to point out the foibles in others.

Benefit: Felix's Lethological Grammatacator provides a bonus to Bluff, Intimidate and Diplomacy checks equal to the wielder's INT bonus. The larger the vocabulary of the wielder, the more daunting the words the Grammatacator provides become.

Alignment: LN. Felix's Lethological Grammatacator worships at the altar of GRAMMAR

Abilities: Int 18, Wis 10, Cha 18. Felix's Lethological Grammatacator knows what it is talking about, and is never afraid to let people know that fact.

Powers:
120' Darkvision, Blindsense, and Hearing
Speech, Telepathy
Languages: All of them.
Three Lesser Powers
Greater Power
Special Purpose
Special Purpose Power

• Lesser Powers
  Silence 15' Radius 3/day
  Fox's Cunning 3/day
  10 ranks in Knowledge (Grammar)
  
• Greater Power
  Tongues on wielder 1/day. Caster level 8.
  
• Special Purpose
  Make people speak The Queen's Common
  
• Special Purpose Power
  Suggestion, to be used to correct the grammar of all eligible targets in range.

Item Ego
+3 ... Lesser Powers
+2 ... Greater Power
+4 ... Special Purpose
+1 ... Telepathy
+1 ... Read Languages
+1 ... Read Magic
+4 ... Int Bonus
+4 ... Cha Bonus
20

 

[Inconsequenti-AL]

That's a fantastic item.... I was looking for a gift for an arrogant mage... ought to compliment him perfectly.

 

[Salthorae]

question

my only question is why would an intelligent item that is designed to improve speech around the nations....be able to silence people? I guess if it got that tired of hearing poor common spoken. Any other particular reason?

 

[JimAde]

my only question is why would an intelligent item that is designed to improve speech around the nations....be able to silence people? I guess if it got that tired of hearing poor common spoken. Any other particular reason?

I think that's it. "If you cannot express yourself correctly, peasant, then be silent!"

With all those sensory powers it would be very handy for avoiding ambushes...IF it thought you were worth saving

 

[Felix]

Same reason nuns whap you on your knuckles when you are misbehaving during a lesson... when you stop making noise it's easier to hear the lesson, for you and for others.

[flashback]
*whap* Oww! Damn that hur - *whap* - OW!
[/flashback]



Oh, and I would say that F'sLG would only use its Silence, Fox's, and Suggestion powers to its own ends, and would not do so at the request of the owner. Indeed, I think that the F'sLG would keep its powers to itself. The PCs would be baffled when everyone around them begins speaking eloquently or not at all.

 

[Nifft]

my only question is why would an intelligent item that is designed to improve speech around the nations....be able to silence people?

It's designed to improve grammer, not to improve speech.

Why don't you shut up and read a good book? Hmm? Well, then, let me help you...

-- N