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First Post
Encounter 13: The Duck of Many Things.

The next door out of the hag's room leads to a winding passageway that winds up north around the path that it winds along. Once it was the lair of the carrion crawler who left for a new lair. The % chance of the carrion crawler relocating back to this lair is equal to the number of turns after it was first encountered, along with half the number of hours before it was encountered. If the carrion crawler has not yet been encountered, sent the party to the carrion crawler encounter unless it is no longer there but is in fact here. If the carrion crawler is dead reduce the chance it is in this lair by 15%.

Because the walls are only 4 feet across any character wider than 4 feet can't enter. Once the party, except for the wider-than-4-foot characters, reaches the end they see a desk with a skeleton behind it. The skeleton is of a human with no clothes. It is holding a magical duck that can produce a variety of effects (see table 13A for effects). To activate the duck you must squeeze it. If the skeleton is damaged or attacked it will not fight back, but will squeeze the duck. The skeleton has no hit points because it is dead.


Table 13A Duck of many Things
1 Blind the holder
2 Deafen the holder
3 Duck changes color
4 Color changes duck
5 Elephant appears in holder pajama's
6 All party members get 1d2 inches shorter
7 All party members gain 5d1000 copper coins (recalculate weight immediately)
8 All gold in parties possession shifts 1 foot to the left
9 All female party members undergarments shift 1 foot to the left
10 All males in the party suddenly lose all body hair
11 All skeletons in a 20 foot radius gain 1d20 hp and skin
12 Polymorph holder into a duck of many things
13 1d20 random gnomes appear, and start to pose as scenery
14 All characters gain 1d4 random clothing items
15 All characters lose 1d4 random clothing items
16 Wielder becomes a Gnome
17 1d4 waiters appear and serve the party lunch
18 A carrion crawler appears
19 Roll 1d20 3 times
20 All of the above
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First Post
Encounter 14 - The Red Lobster

The party finds itself at one end of a large chamber. The ceiling and walls of this chamber appear to be some sort of a membrane, holding back a bubbling, pale yellow liquid. The floor of this chamber is stone, with a lapis lazuli mosaic depicting long-forgotten gods rolling non-Euclidian dice.

On the opposite side of this chamber there is a monstrously large lobster. The lobster is mindless, but will immediately attack the party.

Monstrously large lobster HD 20, HP 110, AC 34, Attack 2 claws +25 (1d4+35 damage each), immune to every spell that the party's magic-user knows except for erase, which will make this entire lame encounter disappear.

The lobster will attempt to overbear any party member wielding a sharp weapon, wearing armor spikes, or even having a sharp wit, and maneuver that party member into the membranous wall. The membrane is holding back an underground lake of melted butter, and any contact with a sharp object (or even someone speaking in a loud voice), will cause the membrane to tear, releasing a torrent of hot melted butter into the chamber. This will do 10d6 fire damage and 10d6 acid damage to all creatures in the chamber each round. The lobster wears an enormous lobster-sized copper band on one pincer, the magic of which makes it immune to fire and acid damage.

Upon defeating the lobster, the party will find a treasure chest, holdling 300d10 cp, 1525d4 ep, 1d3 gp, and a +1 glaive-guisarme (+3 vs. xvarts).

If the party thinks to cut up the lobster's body, they find a key buried in the lobster's brain, which fits a keyhole in the center of the floor.


First Post
Encounter 14 - The Pudding

You approach a door which has no lock, hinges, knob, or any other door attributes. In fact, it looks very much like the floor, but it is, in fact, a door. You must speak the Common word for "friend" to open it.

Once opened, read the following boxed text:

[Text Box] The room is large with a round spinning ball of light casting strange colors around the room. Atonal thumping music fills the room. Scantily clad Drow dance provocatively as a large jelly-like substance with facial features watches nearby. It claps its sticky hand-like protuberances together in appreciation. [/Text Box]

The mass of jelly is, in fact, an awakened black pudding with a harem of Drow. It enjoys listened to bad disco music and watching movies starring John Agar. It does not like long walks on the beach since salt causes fine lines and wrinkles.

The Black Pudding introduces itself as Sir Blorpalot and will invite you to join it in watching the Drow harem dance. If you speak to the Black Pudding, it will attack. If you do not speak to the Black Pudding, it will be offended and begin to cry. It's tears heal 1d10-9 points of ability damage.

Black Pudding: 20HD, 190 HP, AC -1 Attacks: Noogie of Death, Round House Punch Special Abilities: +15 Charisma bonus against all Drow disco dancers, Tears of Healing


First Post
Encounter 16
Cavern of Immense Riches

Read the following to the party:
”You stand at the entrance threshold to a humongous cavern. There are stalagmites on the ceiling and stalactites all over the floor. Some of the stalagmites seem to have tiny eyes on them. The cavern ceiling is 350’ high. The cavern is oval shaped, and is 300’ wide at its widest width, and 400’ long at its largest length.

“The cavern is a nature-made natural cavern, as opposed to a man-made or dwarf made natural cavern. Illumination is achieved by glowing phosphorescent fungi that cling to the cavern walls, giving off light of purple, green, blue, and violet. The air feels cold and damp, like when someone licks their palm and presses it on your cheek.

“The cavern is filled with a deep roaring silence, and there’s absolutely no sound except for the sound of your footfalls falling on the floor. No matter how experienced adventure you are, you are absolutely amazed and astounded at this cavern, and practically sink to your knees in profound admiration for the sheer natural beauty of nature’s handiwork in spending millennia, even centuries, in naturally carving this cave out of the unyielding stony subterranean underground rocks. (DM Note: Dwarf players should make a saving throw or wet their pants in sheer admiration. People who play dwarven player characters should do the same).

“You all know that you’d like nothing more than to walk in an explore this lovely beauty cave, but unfortunately your path is blocked by a statue of a swineosphinx (half sow, half sphinx). ‘Halt!’ she grunts.’Who dares enter the cavern of immense riches?’”

At this point, the PCs need to talk with the sentient talking statue. Eventually the statue called “Mizpigee”, will ask them a riddle. If they get it right, they can pass. If not, she will sit on them, crushing them all.

The riddle:

From all over, many cooks gather
To create something stupid, with lots of blather
It’s just for fun, so please don’t fight it
But if people like it too much, we’ll copyright it.

Answer: This adventure.

Finally, if the players answer the riddle, Mizpigee allows them by, and they can move into the latter half of the cavern, where lie the immense riches.

“Your eyes settled eagerly on the prize. Well, they would if not for the gigantic humanoids you see. They might be giants, and in fact they are, and each one is 35’ tall and has arms like huge smoked hams. Each of the six giants wears a backwards turned baseball cap and a t-shirt that bears the words “Waterdeep University”. They are congregated around a large metal keg of beer. Yes, it’s a gathering of dreaded Dorm Giants.

Dorm Giants (6): Str 34, Dex 7, Con 25, Int 1, Wis -2, Cha 2; Dam 5d20 (Smack with baseball cap); AC 24; To Hit +24; Treasure: That keg has 456 gallons of beer.

Oh yeah…each giant has a nametag that reads “Hi, my name is Rich”.

Oh, and there’s a way out on the wall opposite where the players came in. If they survive.
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First Post
(first: Thanks Wystan! I knew a righteous dude (-ette?) like you would provide a table for the duck).

Handout 17: The dragon. When the party sees a dragon, hand out this handout.
(,\ /,)\
/ / \


Encounter 17

Elevatory Chamber

This area is accessible only for characters who have found the key in the brain of the giant lobster in Encounter 14. Upon placing the key in the lock and turning the key clockwise as seen from above (see "Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey" in Alarums and Excursions #2), the PCs will hear a roaring sound that seems to come from the very stone around them, and, in fact, does. The floor of the entire chamber will descend at a rate of 10 feet per round. After four rounds, the entrance to a passageway will appear on the east wall. Turning the key counterclockwise will interrupt the descent of the floor and allow PCs to enter the passageway; otherwise, PCs wishing to enter the passageway must jump before the floor descends beyond the passageway. Roll 4d6 five times and take the best two dice from each roll. Record the total on a piece of scrap paper, throw it away, and allow the PCs to enter the passageway. They will think they just did something risky and heroic. This is essential to maintaining the air of suspense crucial to a successful adventure.
The passageway leads to Encounter 104, Owlbear Trench Latrine.
Should the PCs continue to ride the floor downward, they will plunge into a pool of flaming lava acid that leaves behind only a general impression of an unpleasant event.

WARNING: This adventure is only valid with official World's Stupidest Dungeon miniature game figurines. We cannot guarantee that relative sizes, number of limbs, terrifying aspect, weaponry &c. will be accurate unless you use WORLD'S STUPIDEST DUNGEON miniatures. These precision sculpted miniature game pieces are made with pure lead for durable play. Suggested figures for this adventure:

WSD 0104: Bloated Carrion Crawler
WSD 0345: Assorted Baked Goods (includes pie, tarts, muffins, pasties)
WSD 0107: Toothless Hag


lukelightning said:
(first: Thanks Wystan! I knew a righteous dude (-ette?) like you would provide a table for the duck).

Handout 17: The dragon. When the party sees a dragon, hand out this handout.
(,\ /,)\
/ / \

Mr Wystan it is, not Mrs. or Ms.... :)

Table 13b Duck of many Things mishaps:
If a player rolls a 13 number on table 13a roll 2 times on table 13 b
1 All hair tuns blue
2 All skin turns purple
3 Character gains 1d4 strength and loses 2d6 Int
4 Character loses 2 wisdom
5 All characters in a 10 foot radius become drunk 
[SIZE=1]            (-4 to hit,  -4 AC, -4 Wisdom) lasts 1d4 hours[/SIZE]
6 All players lose 1d4 dollars (give them to the DM RIGHT NOW!)
7 Roll 1d6, all players with a birthdate that contain that number must buy snacks
8 1d100 kobolds appear and attack the party
9 Character loses all body hair and starts to grow feathers
10 Character gains 1 gold piece
11 Nothing happens
12 Roll 2 more times on table 13a
13 Character is polymorphed into a Black Cat
14 Character gains 1d100 pounds
15 Character becomes an elf
16 All Elves in the party gain Pointed Eye-brows and lose all emotion
17 All characters lose 2d20 hitpoints and gain 1d20 gold
18 Roll 2 more times
19 Roll 3 more times
20 Character Dies and must Roll a Gnome Illusionist


First Post
A long hallway
(10'w x 10'h x 120'l)
This long hallway gently slopes to the south. The floor is made of smooth cooble stone. The walls are hand carved rock. The ceiling is covered with a green glowing algee. Every 10' there is a flaming torch hanging from the wall. There is a single iron bound door at the end of the hall. Otherwise there are no exits.

I the center of the hallway there is a 10'x10' wide pittrap. The pittrap is activated by any Pc passing above it. Even if the PC is Jumping, flying or levitating. Any Pc that activates the trap will fall 120' to the bottom of the pit taking 14d6 falling damage and and additional 5d4+9 damage from the poisend spikes at the bottom of the pit. The bottom of the pit is covered with 1d4pp, 2d6gp, 4d8ep, 6d12sp and 10d100cp. There is also 4d6 various gems. If the PC rolls a 85-100 there are 1d6 magical items from table III.e and 1d10+2 items form talbe III.g

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