Let's Write a Bad Module


Encounter 21: Obligitory Bar fight.

after opening this door the players all fall asleep and wake up in the tavern the Pleasent Haddock in the town of Lum, in west Hayt.
the tavern is apparently empty, containing only 2 elven women and four peasents drinking at a table. The Bartender will over a variety of excellent beers and paastries. When the peasnts hear the characters speak they will know them for eniemies and attack immediatly- One peasents is actually a Ninja! The other for are noncombatants and will not fight unless they are attacked. If they fight or are killed, use the stats for hobgoblins from encounter 2: a dark smellty cave, except that they each have 10hp, are not wearing armour, but do use tables as shields and they must each spend 1d4 rounds to get weapons from among those haning on the walls.

Ninja - lvl 8 hp 40, AC 22 (+6 armor, +6 dex) BAB +6/+1, sword +12(1d10) or Shuriken +12/+7(1)

Skills and Feats - Hide +17, Move silently +17, Spot +11, Listen +11, Search +11, Tumble +17, Jump +13
Climb +17 Weapon finess, improved iniative, Doge, Mobility, Spring Attack;
Class abilities: Sudden strike +4d6, ki power, ki dodge, great leap, Acrobatics +2, Gost step (invisibility) Ghost strike.

Equipment: +1 Katana, +2 Ninja Armor, 100 gp

The Inn keeper will allow the players to spend the night, and he is honest.
players may level up and regain spells before being teleported back to the dungeon the next morning.

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First Post

Ride to the "Pool"

You are forced through the dragons innards into its belly, landing in a pool of stomach acids!

PCs take 5d4 acid damage each round in the acid. Within 1d4 rounds a white orb lands to the belly, a wisdom check allows to notice it says "laxatives". Now PCs have hard time remaining in the belly and must save each round versus bowel movements or be drawn under the acid level, into the dragons intestines. When they fail the saves, read aloud, but not too loud:

The dragons bowel movements are nasty fast! Before you know, you've gone through the dragon, into a white room shaped as a bowl, with some water in it, and an underwater tunnel seemingly going downwards. Bad news is, you're not alone, even if you had no party companions left. You land in the water pool with the dragons dookie! A neo-otyugh attacks.

The dragon poops more into the 'chamber' each round, and PCs must save vs. death each round or suffer nausea and 1d4 damage. Each round there is a 37% probability that the dragon will flush the toilet, leading characters to encounter #23.

edit: revised a bit, I'll have the stats for otyugh later
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First Post
Encounter 36 (Encounter 35 is missing from the manual)

When the PCs enter the room, read the text in the box:

[box]Upon entering the room, you see an ant carrying an amazing longsword, but the longsword is really too long for the ant to be swinging it like that, so it must be an ant of amazing strength, but what you realize is the ant is also dancing like the badgers, but it then turns into a badger like a werebadger might, but you also see the sword is dripping jello, which you find odd for a sword.

Roll a 1d4 to see if the PCs see the ant/badger's special shoes.[/box]

The PCs will attack the badger, and if they can kill it, he's a really mean badger, they get the sword, which is a sword of jellow turning*. They can swing the sword around until they find out its power of turning anything it touches into jellow, which but only not the hilt does or the warrior swinging it would already be turned into jellow.

ANT/BADGER - WEREBADGER ANTKIN - 1 HD, 7 hp, AC 7; Attacks: rapier 1d6. Edged weapons and arrows only do 1/2 damage.

The badger's skull turns into a door after it dies. The door is just a diversion from the chandelier decending over the skull to crush the PCs like a trap. The PCs cannot first detect this chandelier trap cause the DC is 78.

If they survive, the chandelier is really a portal to the next room to the east, after turning left once. Roll a 1d6.

*This sword is much too powerful, but we couldn't remove it as it's needed to kill the main bad guy's assistant in Encounter 92.

(the sword thing actually happened to me in a game - lol)


First Post
After the disturbing encounter #23 the characters will be in a pond/lake. There's a huge rusty pipe dumping sewage into the pond/lake. If the party has a druid, (or they picked up the one from room 72c) he must make a DC 25 will save, or wax poetically about how humans are destroying the enviroment for 3d10 rounds. For this time, no spells with verbal components may be cast. Not just by the druid, by the whole party. It's that loud.

The water is the exact colours of the legendary crimson emerald the Eye Of Argon (In the special Bonus Module when you buy The World's Most Tedious Railroad Dungeon) In it are swimming several (7d9) dace
Vertical centerbar the text goes around said:
Dace - A small, freshwater fish commonly used as a weapon. Lives in iron and fertilizer rich waters. Can be used exactly like a dagger for 1d6 attacks before it disintigrates, except it does 1d3 damage, requires the Exotic Weapon: Fish feat to use without a penality of 3 to AC, and has 15 hp and 20 int.
. They attack using Stirge stats, but instead of flying make them swim, and instead of draining HP they drain constitution. Because they're part of the natural ecology, all druids must deal subdual damage to the fish.

Also, because of the very thick marsh gasses and smell, flight and levitation spells are right out.

If successful, the party will be able to choose to continue to what you should say is room 300, but is actully room 1 again, but with enemies from room 48, (Stats specified in Encounter 35), or they can choose to go on to room 25. Also, the party can't go back into the pipe (although they certainly shouldn't want to, given what's in there). If they try, they will find a DC 45.4 pit trap that's full of black pudding. Real black pudding. It's rotton.


First Post

Read this text to the players:

You enter a room. It is neither a small nor a very small room, but a room of dimensions that might properly be called large. In the centre is a lecturn that stands in the centre. Steps are leading up to it.

PCs may climb each step with a DC 12 Climb Check. They may not take 10 on these checks as they are being pelted from above by rotten fruit that goblins are throwing from above. The goblins cannot be killed because they just run away if the party tries to kill them and then come back and throw more fruit from above. There are 12 steps. If a check is failed then the character falls back down to the bottom and takes 3d6 damage and must make a will save or start crying. If they reach the top of the steps they encounter a vision.

Read the following text to the playrs:

A woman appears before you shimmering ephemrally (but she't not actually in the ephemeral plane she's in this plane). She is a very nice woman, with pretty hair. She says in a voice that is quiet: "I am Lady Orvela who your questing to save. I am betrothed to Prince Shanor of Tuman. Please save me before they execute me, or they will kill me. The Tumanish solders would come to save me on the orders of the Tumanite King, but theyll never get here in time to save me and anyway they can't because the Tumanarian King doesn't want to ruin the Holiday Festival and if the soldiers invade Hant then they will do so verily. So you have to rescue me first or my father the King of Hant won't give you your just reward. Hurry! Hurry to Tuman and save me!"

The woman is actually secretly working for the King of Tuman, because he said that otherwise he would torture her and sell her to King Sheldeon as a slave. She is neither happy nor jubilant to be used in this manner most foul, but she has no recurse so she does it under duress. Duress is the torture master, and he is neither pleasant nor handsome but very smelly and unpleasant and she doesn't like him. So when he sits on her she does whatever he says, under Duress. She is luring the players into a trap. While she was talking she cast a Geas on them, so they have to do what she said or suffer 4d12 Con damage every minute until they do what she says.

For getting down the other side of the steps see the rules for the first steps, but instead of falling to the bottom when they fail players fall back to the top and have to try to go back down again. On the other side of the room is a door that leads to the next room.


This 10 x 10 chamber has no doors or windows. It is inhabited by Tytherandathraxiotus, a huge ancient white wyrm. He is ravenously hungry and attacks on sight 80% of the time. There is a 25% chance he will parley with the party if offered food. There is a 35% chance he will parley if offered all of the party's treasure.

The dragon guards 2 gold pieces and a small piece of charcoal. If the charcoal is smeared over the floor, a limerick involving the King of Tuman and a pair of milkmaids is revealed.

Edit: If the dragon is killed and cut open, the AXE OF MORGOSH can be found in its stomach contents along with 12 large pepperoni pizzas and a case of Mountain Dew.
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First Post

Beyond the 10' by 100' chamber with no doors or windows is a long, slender hall, 20' by 20'.

read the following text to your players:

This is a long slender hall

There are bats in the hall. They attack the players unless one of them is wearing pink. The bats that is, not the players.

Bat: Small Humanoid (Goblin); Warrior 1; CR 1/3; HD 1d8+1; HP 5; Init +1; Spd 30ft.; AC 15, touch 12, flat-footed 14; Base Atk +1; Grp -3; Atk +2 melee (1d6, Morningstar) or +3 ranged (1d4, javelin); Full Atk +2 melee (1d6, Morningstar) or +3 ranged (1d4, javelin); SQ Darkvision 60ft.; AL Neutral Evil; SV Fort +3, Ref +1, Will -1; Str 11, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 9, Cha 6.
Skills and Feats: Hide +5, Listen +2, Move Silently +5, Ride +4, Spot +2; Alertness.
Languages: Common, Goblin.
Treasure: Standard

If the bats do not attack then do not use these stats. If the goblins do not attack use these stats. If the Purple Worm does not attack then roll a d4. On a 1-4 the players each earn 500xp. On a 4-1 the players each lose 500xp.

At the end of the pit is a trap. Search DC 42, Disable Device DC 12, Fort Save vs. Death DC 2 every round for the rest of the adventure or until a player casts Animate Rope. The sauce of the trap is not visible. If the players do not find the trap do not use it on a roll of 10 or more on a d6, unless one of the bats succeeds on a Decipher Script roll DC 15 or one of the Purple Worms succeeds on a Ranged Attack roll on a bat or the sum total of your characters levels multiplied by 4 and square rooted, then integrated, comes to less than the number of bats they have fought. Beyond the trap is a locked door to the next room. It does not open unless one of the players speaks the word Cyrrlqin, which means to open in ancient Slaaadish. Bardic Knowledge check DC 45 to know this. Otherwise the players cannot continue and lose all XP and treasure so far acquiesced during the adventure.
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Samuel Leming said:
You know, a module such as this isn't complete until somebody maps it. ;)

Map 2A: The Uppermost Levels


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