Loyalty among gamers, does it exist?

[frankthedm]

In addition, there is a time for a friend to take one for the team.

Playing in a RPG campaign is a HELL of a lot more than "one for the team". "One for the team" is a session, not a campaign. Asking someone to play a campaign they don't like is the equivalent of asking a buddy to go steady with the trollish friend of the SO the asker is trying to get in good with.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Personally, I don't see it that way, but I can understand that others' experiences may differ.

I say that because I was in a group for several years where I played in RPG systems that were not to my liking- esp. a buttload of GURPS (the default system for most of the gamers in the group) and 5 or 6 different mecha-themed games- between campaigns of D&D and HERO. I did it for group unity (it was a very cool group), and because I knew that at some point, one of my preferred games would be up in the rotation again. Even if I had to run it.

And sometimes, it took a while. But we rotated screen monkey duties throughout the group...with mixed results. Still, that meant the pain was both spread out and shared.

It's not as if (returning to the present situation) the 4Ed DM intends o run this game forever. He, too, intends to take a break at some point. When he does, IF the 3.X guy is recharged, that will be the game. If not...

Well, it's not as if anyone else is making noises about running a game right now.

For the record, I've run a RIFTS, 3Ed and M&M game in this group over the past 13 years...all short-lived. There have also been 2 2Ed and 2 other 3Ed games run in that time period. Besides this 4Ed game, only my M&M game had less than full participation.

It's also not like I'm pro-4Ed, either. While i consider some aspects of 4Ed to be superior (like the Warlock), I GREATLY prefer 3.5. But I also recognize that, even though it's not my fave, I can and AM having fun roleplaying a PC in a well-run game. (Especially knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.)

 

[Raven Crowking]

A fund as a show of support for a fellow gamer.

I don't owe anyone loyalty because they are a gamer. I am loyal to my friends, some of whom are gamers and some of whom are not. If you have a spot at my table, I owe you something....but not carte blanche! I will remove you if you don't belong. And I will accept your withdrawal if you don't feel my table is a good fit. That doesn't mean that I won't be your friend.

But Joe Gamer down the road? I don't owe him anything. Nor does he owe anything to me.

Playing in a RPG campaign is a HELL of a lot more than "one for the team".

Personally, I don't see it that way, but I can understand that others' experiences may differ.

Given that we live in a culture where, increasingly, not having the spotlight on you all of the time -- or, gasp!, on another player! oh noeses! -- is considered somehow damaging to the game, it is hardly surprising that one might not want to play in a campaign one isn't enjoying.

The player definitely has the right to determine whether or not he wants to play. And the rest of the group definitely has the right to decide whether or not to ask him back when the preferred campaign starts again.

But the longer a period one is expected to "take one for the team", and the more painful that "one for the team" is to take, the less likely I would be to care whether or not I played with that group again.

BUT I would still be able to be friends with them. Gaming tastes do not dictate my friendships.


RC

 

[Raven Crowking]

Then those players have to decide whether or not playing in the 4e game is a worthwhile "price of admission" for getting the 3.X game back (faster or at all). If they don't think so, no friend would pressure them to make it so.

Note that the reverse is true too.

Some players may have to decide whether or not playing in a 3.X game is a worthwhile "price of admission" for getting the 4.e game back (faster or at all). If they don't think so, no friend would pressure them to make it so.

Or 1e. Or 2e. Or M&M. Or True 20. Or whatever.



RC

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

For the record, he has not even sat at the table once, nor hung out, drinking beer & heckling us while we played. He has made no attempt beyond looking at the books...the initial Core 3. Despite my dislike of most of what 4Ed offers, I at least gave the new guy- and by extension, the 3.X DM- the benefit of sitting at the table.

And while I agree that it's his decision, I'm disappointed that he's not even trying for his old buddy's sake.

 

[Raven Crowking]

For the record, he has not even sat at the table once, nor hung out, drinking beer & heckling us while we played. He has made no attempt beyond looking at the books...the initial Core 3. Despite my dislike of most of what 4Ed offers, I at least gave the new guy- and by extension, the 3.X DM- the benefit of sitting at the table.

And while I agree that it's his decision, I'm disappointed that he's not even trying for his old buddy's sake.

Personally, I would be more disappointed if he chose not to play, but expected to hang out drinking been & heckling while you were playing. When you brought this up with him, what did he say?


RC

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

In the interest of full disclosure:

I don't play everything in the group either. After all these years and the occasional boardgame night, the default fallback at our table has become poker.

I suck at poker.

I still played it with these guys intermittently for years, losing more than winning, but always improving...despite the fact that a couple have almost gotten to the final table at the WSOP. But since for me, it's still like riding a Big Wheel at the Daytona 500, I don't play anymore.

Still, I participated AND dropped my $$$ for quite a while before making that call...and I still show up in poker nights to heckle & socialize in occasion.

IOW, I gave it a chance; I took one for the team.

I think he owes his buddy at least that minimal effort.

 

[BlueBlackRed]

I have a loyalty to my group, though they aren't on the top priority level (wife+kids win that one, then job).

Granted several of them are good friends (one the best man at my wedding), but some of them are there just for the game and their loyalty to the group varies based on how much they like gaming vs. other factors.

One thing I've made sure of is to make sure that no one new makes it unpleasant for the rest of us to enjoy the game or irritates the wife of the host.

It's worth it to have a simple player interview so there is one less thing to prevent people from wanting to leave a group rather than looking forward to the game.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Personally, I would be more disappointed if he chose not to play, but expected to hang out drinking been & heckling while you were playing. When you brought this up with him, what did he say?


RC

Hanging out is an established norm in our group- it would be 100% cool if be did so. Especially since he's a funny MF.

When I brought it up, he shut me down. He would only listen to the 3.X DM's opinion...and he said he was having fun & recharging his batteries on his much deserved break.

Still no response, no give.

 

[Raven Crowking]

So, why isn't he allowed to take a break and recharge his batteries, if he isn't interested in playing anything that is happening now? What, exactly, are you expecting him to do here? Hang out and not participate?

I am sure that your friends appreciated your presence on poker nights, but surely you made a choice to show up without being pressured into doing so? And surely your friends understood when you decided not to?


RC