Mac saves teen from D&D

[Desdichado]

My fiancee works long hours, so when she gets home she watches show that she's recorded. I couldn't care a whit about most of them, but I certainly don't think she's an idiot. I listen to her talk about whatever she's finding interesting enough going on in the shows and discuss it briefly before going back to whatever I was doing. Sometimes, I even sit down and watch a show with her. It's all about being flexible. I watch something like What Not to Wear with her because she'll watch The Venture Brothers with me. Relationships are full of that kind of give and take. People that can't (likely won't) grasp that stay alone more times than not.

Exactly. Hell, I even watched The Batchelor for three or four seasons with my wife before I told her I couldnt' stand it anymore. Being with my wife, believe it or not, is usually funner than gaming, even if we're watching a really retarded show.

 

[Merlion]

I don't care to empathize or try to understand why MO feels the way he does. All I know is that he is a poor example of a person who claims to be imaginitive when he can't even use his imagination to try to understand why something may be appealing to others and not him. He's the epitome of the stereotypical gamer mentality that people make fun of and does nothing to promote the game but, instead, makes it less approachable because of the type of people non-gamers would have to deal with.

You realize that means you could be said to be doing the same thing he does. I'm not saying you are....I'm saying it could be viewed that way.

I'm not going to make a decision like that about a person based on as little information as we have.


Especially not when I have days that I feel almost the same way. People like us get abused by people for having the audacity to use our minds, but let a person like me or you say anything about sports fans or whatever and we're misanthropic gamers.


EVERYBODY needs to get it through there heads that a persons value is a matter of how they behave, and their intentions. Not their interests, their race, their income, their hobbies or anything else of the kind.

EVERYBODY needs to start having basic human respect and consideration for EVERYONE else. In word and action.

 

[reveal]

You realize that means you could be said to be doing the same thing he does. I'm not saying you are....I'm saying it could be viewed that way.

I'm not going to make a decision like that about a person based on as little information as we have.

Especially not when I have days that I feel almost the same way. People like us get abused by people for having the audacity to use our minds, but let a person like me or you say anything about sports fans or whatever and we're misanthropic gamers.

EVERYBODY needs to get it through there heads that a persons value is a matter of how they behave, and their intentions. Not their interests, their race, their income, their hobbies or anything else of the kind.

EVERYBODY needs to start having basic human respect and consideration for EVERYONE else. In word and action.

MO has showed no respect for anyone. I don't care if he rescues kittens for the local animal shelter on the weekends, I have nothing to go on except for what he's posted.

And "[p]eople like us" get abused because you use your minds? How old are you? There comes a point where you just have to say "screw you" and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished. No one's going to say "poor you, you poor downtrodden smart guy." I'm a smart guy but no one gives me crap about it, in fact some are impressed by it, because they know I wouldn't take it.

Also, I have a lot of varied interests, on purpose, so I can talk about sports, science, just shoot the breeze, and I get along fine with a lot of people because of that.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Well...I'm about to re-discover what dating is like at some point, I suppose. My wife of 15 years told me she wants to go ahead and divorce. I'm a Christian...or at least trying to be...and a gamer...with fairly conservative politics... and I'll be 42 this month. I think the odds of finding a compatible companion are mighty slim, given my location. Good thing I'm not the kind of guy who absolutely feels he must be in a relationship to be complete or whatever and that I actually LIKE to be by myself most of the time!

Which is a bummer, Cal.

Christian and gaming can be problematic if you're around the wrong people... Both myself and a friend of mine are Christians who game. We don't see it as "being evil". We can differentiate between fantasy and reality to distinguish the two. There's Christian gamers out there if you know where to find them.

 

[Mercule]

I'm a smart guy but no one gives me crap about it, in fact some are impressed by it, because they know I wouldn't take it.

Also, I have a lot of varied interests, on purpose, so I can talk about sports, science, just shoot the breeze, and I get along fine with a lot of people because of that.

Ditto. My IQ is in the top .05% (that range where they start guessing at the actual numbers). Oddly, I am able to hold down a job, get respect as an elder in my church, have a wife and three awesome kids, etc.

It ain't being smart that's the problem. It's using your brain to cope with the world around you. Go read "Who Moved My Cheese" (I can't believe I just made that recommendation). If anything in there sounds even remotely like a revelation, ask someone for help. If you don't understand the allegory, ask someone of average intelligence for help.

 

[Mercule]

Then again, you have to accept that random chance ended up with society the way it is. I'm willing to accept that as a pretty big geek I have a couple of options when it comes to women: a) Do what I like in life, enjoy it and hope that I eventually run into someone who likes the same things I do, b) change to become a more desirable man for the opposite sex, losing things I like about life in the process, or c) forget about ever getting a woman

I've already decided that one of the 3 will, in fact, be my fate for the rest of my life. Right now, I'm sticking with A. I have met 2 women already who accepted me the way I am, and I think there are more out there. Just have to be patient.

I wish you the best of luck, seriously. To discard "B", though, you've gotta think you're perfect. Kudos to you, man. I can't tell you how many books I've read trying to better myself, but I'd say it's more than 40, and I'm still not even close to done. I envy you having gotten there on your own.

 

[ssampier]

This is verging on non-topic territory.

[my crazy life ideas, not to hijack so I'll spoiler them]

Spoiler

I am a single man. I am also painfully shy. I wouldn't call myself "happy" in the traditional sense. I am, however, content with my relationship life. I'm not interested in dating right now. I want to focus more on my career and getting my "stuff" together. A relationship wouldn't "cure" these problems. So by choice, I'm single and that's okay.

If and when I decide to have a relationship, I'd try to have an equal relationship, give and take. I hope to find someone who's tolerant of gaming and my other geeky behaviors, just as I'd be tolerate her "strange" behaviors. As for changing myself, I think it depends. If I leave my socks out or the habit of forgetting to eat my vegetables and lack of exercise, fine. But if I have change everything about myself to get a date, I'd rather not bother.

[/crazy]

 

[Merlion]

How old are you?

Whats that got to do with anything?


I'll be 24 in Dec, not that it matters.

There comes a point where you just have to say "screw you" and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished

I never said I'm not. I said I dislike being treated like a moron/freak/serial killer because I like dragons and I like to think about "deep" things.

No one's going to say "poor you, you poor downtrodden smart guy." I'm a smart guy but no one gives me crap about it, in fact some are impressed by it, because they know I wouldn't take it.

I never said anything about being "smart" or even about intelligence. That isnt the issue. I firmly believe everyone has about the same level of "intelligence" whatever that means. What I am talking about falls more under imagination, curiosity, wonder.

I find many people have no interest in anything "deep". Like who we are, why we are, why the world and people's minds work the way they do, what if anything is outside of what we know (life after death, other worlds, wether we are the only intelligent life in existence) etc.

Most of the people I know are perfectly intelligent people, and perfectly nice people but dont think much beyond their jobs, bills, kids school functions and what have you.

That doesnt make me better than them. But the fact that I do think about other things doesnt make me worse than them either...but many seem to think that.

Also, I have a lot of varied interests, on purpose, so I can talk about sports, science, just shoot the breeze, and I get along fine with a lot of people because of that.

I dont really see how one can cultivate an interest. Either something interests you, or it doesnt. Now you might look into something that doesnt interest you right off hand, and find that it does...but thats not quite the same thing.


And as I have mentioned...I *get along* just fine with pretty much anyone who isnt rude or nasty. But getting along, and feeling a meaningful connection with arent the same things. I like pretty much everyone I work with, but I dont really relate to most of them on any deep level because they just tend to stare blankly at me any time I happen to bring up something having to do with any of my real interests.





I have come to terms with my own relationship with other people in the world, for the most part. But I still dislike being looked down on or treated poorly or like a loony because I like japanease animation and I use words like "monotheistic"

And because I have come through those things, I can sympathize with people going throgh the same issues who havent.

 

[I'm A Banana]

OR I could be proactive about finding my dream girl without changing. Because my dream girl wouldn't want me to. Once again, this always veers into "your lifestyle choices are horrible and will get you nowhere" territory.

Being proactive without changing is a logical fallacy. Stasis is inactive. It's even keel. It's steady path. It's not proactive. It's not involved. It's not making a difference. It's not aggressively taking life by the horns and shaping it into what you want.

A lack of change isn't proactive. It's giving up.

As for the rest of it? Well, if one is lonely, if one doesn't have all they want, if one isn't content with their life now, then there is a problem. Maybe it's your lifestyle choices. Maybe it's your obsessions. Maybe it's your self-definition. Maybe it's your peer group. Maybe it's your denial. Maybe it's your stubbornness. Maybe you aren't lonely and you have all you want and you are content with your life and there is no problem. I don't know you from Edwardo, my talking burro. But if there is a problem, rest assured, it's yours, and only you can do something about it. And "doing something" involves being proactive, being flexible, and changing. Change is good. Change is the natural state of the world. Surrender to stasis is a bug, not a feature.

 

[SoulsFury]

So it's really no wonder I ended up getting into RPGs and D&D and such. And I suspect it's at least part of the reason I've been in absolutely no hurry to get a boyfriend or get into the sorts of trouble that other teens were. Much safer to be inside at all hours of the night playing D&D than going out and getting in trouble with the police.

Just trying to understand how people think... but are there a lot of people with this kind of perspective? The people I grew up with playing DnD (11 years old to present, 21 so 10 years of gaming) are the ones who have ended up in jail due to alcohol and drugs. While the people that I have been hanging out with in my social life (football games, drinking parties, beach trips to get ladies, etc) have for the most part, never been arrested, go to college and will make something of their lives. Having a life outside of your house is a vital part of growing up. If you've never experienced a night on the town with some of your girlfriends, you really are missing out on a lot of fun. I really hope you try and get out just to experience instead of sitting at home. Good luck, hope I'm not off base here.

Nik