Mac saves teen from D&D

[Desdichado]

You can wait for your dream girl, or you can be proactive, go out there, and find her.

Right. Anyway, I'm not sure there's anything left to be said, other than trying to critique anyone's specific lifestyle choices, and since I'm not going there, I'm probably done, unless the thread takes on a new spin.

 

[SpiderMonkey]

Hmm...

On the one hand, I will say there has evolved, in the last few years, a sort of 'geek chic,' in which D&D (and all things geeky, really) have become a lot more acceptable and have even (gasp!) attracted female adherents. This makes life for the gamer guy immensely easier.

On the other, we tend to place way too much emphasis on what people like, as opposed to what they're like. My wife doesn't game. Every now and then, I try to get her to play, and she'll go along with it for a session or two, but lose interest. I, by contrast, love gaming and try to play at least twice a month. She's cool with that, because she loves me for what I'm like. By the same token, I love her, despite my disdain for aerobics, yoga, and the lifetime channel (my wife is the epitome of 'girly girl').

I can see why you'd fail to mention that you gamed when you first meet/date a person. It's what I did. I've got a bazillion other interests/hobbies, so it never cramped my style (back in my single days, when dinosaurs ruled the earth).

Still, those "Made" shows just annoy the heck out of me. "Imbuing self esteem in a young person is simply too difficult, so we'll just make them another pop culture clone." Ugh.

Play DnD. Date. Do both. Why not?

 

[nerfherder]

There aren't that many women actively looking for somebody who goes half-naked and body-painted to cheer a sporting event, either.

You've never been to Newcastle, have you?

In Newcastle, the half-naked ones are the women.



Cheers,
Liam

 

[Majoru Oakheart]

On the other, we tend to place way too much emphasis on what people like, as opposed to what they're like. My wife doesn't game. Every now and then, I try to get her to play, and she'll go along with it for a session or two, but lose interest. I, by contrast, love gaming and try to play at least twice a month. She's cool with that, because she loves me for what I'm like. By the same token, I love her, despite my disdain for aerobics, yoga, and the lifetime channel (my wife is the epitome of 'girly girl')

Yes, I just don't think I'd be able to stand this, it's the way I am as well. I can tell you that since I believe in my own sort of screwed up philosophy about life and love, that a lot of people disagree with me. THIS is the core of who I am rather than RPGs. Unfortunately, that philosophy involve getting really frustrated at a lot of girly activities which I view as pointlessly stupid to the point where I can't understand someone who does them. Due to the fact that I can understand it, I can't respect someone who does things I can't understand, if I can't respect someone I can't love them.

It may be that I'm impatient, but when I'm with someone and they say "So, I did (insert thing I can't understand) today, it was great!" and my thoughts are "That's because you are an idiot and don't know what is good", I know we aren't really destined to be together. *grin*

I respect people who can understand logical concepts, have a sense of fun, know how to use their imagination, like to joke around. All of these concepts are central to my way of thinking of RPGs...people who don't like them wouldn't have a personality that would mesh with mine.

You can wait for your dream girl, or you can be proactive, go out there, and find her.

Note: to be proactive, you must be willing to change yourself into someone who can talk about many things.

OR I could be proactive about finding my dream girl without changing. Because my dream girl wouldn't want me to. Once again, this always veers into "your lifestyle choices are horrible and will get you nowhere" territory.

 

[Merlion]

I respect people who can understand logical concepts, have a sense of fun, know how to use their imagination, like to joke around. All of these concepts are central to my way of thinking of RPGs...people who don't like them wouldn't have a personality that would mesh with mine.

I can sympathize with a lot of what your saying...although your mentions of everything being up to random chance and the idea of there being no concept of right or wrong I cannot agree with. Some things (murder for instance) are simply wrong. And there is Purpose of one kind or other to things...existence isnt an accident.


I think the imagination thing is an important point here. Many, many people in our culture...and I some times think especially women...do not use their imaginations and tend either look down on, fear, fail to understand or otherwise have negative reactions towards those who do, for one or more reasons. Especially if it involves outright fantasy, and especially something like RPGs. They tend to think they are childish, or wasteful or "escapist" or the just "cant get into" them or dont understand them.

Our culture is very much focused on mundane, wordly things. Making money, spending money, the day to day neccesities of life. These things can have their own magic certainlly, but many people in our culture have no interest in thinking beyond their jobs, and whatever sitcoms, sports, or contrived social events they spend their time on.


None of these things are bad or wrong in themselves...but the lack of imagination, the lack of wonder and of curiosity can be quite disturbing.


Its those deeper things, not gaming itself, that cause me to often feel a great rift between myself and others.

 

[nerfherder]

OR I could be proactive about finding my dream girl without changing. Because my dream girl wouldn't want me to. Once again, this always veers into "your lifestyle choices are horrible and will get you nowhere" territory.

Celibacy is a perfectly valid lifestyle choice, and I don't think anyone should criticise you for choosing it.

Cheers,
Liam

 

[reveal]

Yes, I just don't think I'd be able to stand this, it's the way I am as well. I can tell you that since I believe in my own sort of screwed up philosophy about life and love, that a lot of people disagree with me. THIS is the core of who I am rather than RPGs. Unfortunately, that philosophy involve getting really frustrated at a lot of girly activities which I view as pointlessly stupid to the point where I can't understand someone who does them. Due to the fact that I can understand it, I can't respect someone who does things I can't understand, if I can't respect someone I can't love them.

It may be that I'm impatient, but when I'm with someone and they say "So, I did (insert thing I can't understand) today, it was great!" and my thoughts are "That's because you are an idiot and don't know what is good", I know we aren't really destined to be together. *grin*

I respect people who can understand logical concepts, have a sense of fun, know how to use their imagination, like to joke around. All of these concepts are central to my way of thinking of RPGs...people who don't like them wouldn't have a personality that would mesh with mine.

OR I could be proactive about finding my dream girl without changing. Because my dream girl wouldn't want me to. Once again, this always veers into "your lifestyle choices are horrible and will get you nowhere" territory.

So what you're saying is that you won't change for anyone and anyone that talks to you about anything that doesn't pertain to an RPG is an idiot? Do you realize how much of a "not a nice guy" the above quoted passage makes you sound like? Cuz right there is why you don't have a GF.

 

[Kanegrundar]

Majoru, with your attitude to other people, you might as well play the lottery. You chances of hitting it big are better than your chances of having a truly stable meaningful relationship.

 

[Merlion]

So what you're saying is that you won't change for anyone and anyone that talks to you about anything that doesn't pertain to an RPG is an idiot?

Thats not quite what I got from it.


I think he was refering to the people who dont or cant:

understand logical concepts, have a sense of fun, know how to use their imagination, like to joke around

 

[reveal]

Thats not quite what I got from it.


I think he was refering to the people who dont or cant: understand logical concepts, have a sense of fun, know how to use their imagination, like to joke around

Which is all in your point of view. Not everyone understands the same logic, not everyone has the same sense of fun, not everyone uses their imagination the same way and not everyone likes the same joke. Again, if they don't think like him they're an idiot because he determines what is "good" as far as how people use the concepts listed.