If you threaten them, they are aware they cannot cast defensively. They might not know why.
Based on the thread title, I thought this was going to be the trickier question of "Do you threaten someone you can't see?" - that is, if the opponent is invisible, can he cast defensively? (Let's say, for example, you have Mage Slayer and can't see invisible, and your buddy can see invisible but doesn't have Mage Slayer - can the evil wizard cast defensively to avoid the AoO from your buddy?)
You can't take an AoO against a creature you can't see... but that doesn't necessarily mean you don't threaten them. For example, if an orc and I stand diagonally around the corner of a corridor from each other, the orc has cover from me - I can hit him (at an increased AC), but I can't make an AoO on him. If my buddy is behind him, does he get a flanking bonus? I'm his ally standing directly opposite, and the orc is in a square into which I can make a melee attack, satisfying the definition of 'to threaten'... so even though I can't make an AoO on the orc, I threaten him and can grant a flanking bonus to my buddy.
Similarly, if the orc is a wizard, despite the fact that I can't make an AoO on him due to cover, he's still in a square I threaten, and thus he can't Cast Defensively due to my Mage Slayer feat.
-Hyp.