Make up some funny quotes!

[BullMarkOne]

Select quotes from Grognard's Halfling School of Adventuring Wisdom:

"When in doubt, set something on fire." - Grognard the Incendiary

"Halflings are NOT the lost fifth food group." - Grognard the Indegestible.

"This is your codpiece. Your codpiece is your friend. It just might save your life!" - Grognard the Drill Instructor

"Adventuring parties are like a box of chocolates. Someone else has already eaten all the good ones. You get left with a bunch of weird nuts that nobody likes." - Grognard of the Forrest Gump.

"Try to achieve knighthood or noble title as quickly as possibly. In most lands people of rank are not subject to trial by the common courts." Sir Grognard the Larcenous

"Let me introduce you to my cousin Grognard." - Grognard the Doorman

"How many Grognards have we got in this place?" - bemused non-Halfling, non-Grognard Alumnus

 

[kirinke]

Charging is not an option when going against a devil or anything really from the lower planes. Naverone Roelhafar, redeemed demon of unknown origin.

Never piss off a solar. They have odd senses of humour and access to redeam the wicked spell. Naverone Roelhafar, recipiant of redeem the wicked spell.

You cannot snuff out a water elemental with a fire elemental.
Elrik, summononer extraordinar.

Befriend the cleric, be nice to the barbarian, stay out of the wizard's spell range, don't lie to the paladin and hide behind the party tank.
Wally Wobbenacker, gnome rogue.

When adventuring, never forget your boots of speed or your bag of holding.
Wally Wobbenacker, gnome rogue.

 

[Chimera]

Riffing off one of the greatest Bond lines of all time;

"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die. Then be ressurected at great cost by your friends, re-equipped at even greater expense....and come back to seek your revenge."

 

[Cedric]

"Kick down the door and spit on the floor is a perfectly valid tactic."

"What did you call this again, an advancing retreat?"

"Otyugh, it's what's for dinner."

Famous Barbarian Trainer: Wait until he makes the funny sounds and wiggles his fingers, then brain 'im.

"What do you mean you aren't opening the door? You're the rogue, you're only here to open doors."

"Should be a safe place to camp, I don't think we need a watch."

 

[Solarious]

"Levers were ment to be pulled!"
"Oh please, this lever makes utterly no sense in this room. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"
*insert generic loud screaming here*
"At least it can't get any worse."
*insert ironic moment of silence here*

"Ack, Hennet, run! It's the Mind Flayer!!!"

 

[mythusmage]

"I'm not stupid, I'm not expendable, and I'm not going." Traditional

 

[Slife]

"It's only a kobold"

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

Kicking a Solar in his Plexis is FUN!

Alright, I've met all the Prereqs for the Eunach Warlock PrC... What's a Eunach anyway?

"Remember, Have your Familiar Spayed and/or Nuetered" Robert "Appraise +50" Barkeem

"If you can't Kill the Dragon; Solid Steel d30 to the DM's Head should be Plan B"

"Yes there are really hot chicks that play D&D. I married one. Yes, I am Bragging"

For fun, make all Disable Device DC's 'Rogue Result +5'.

Alien Probes. D20 Modern or not. Alien Probes.

Penguins. Dancing. Greatest Concept EVAR! (Then Party should encounter Awakened 20th level Bard Penguin).

Orcs. The other White Meat.

 

[Stalker0]

NPC: "You look like a man whose interested in a deal" (as he puts his hand on the pc's shoulder).

PC: "Aye, and you look like a man who likes to be touchin other men!!"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"What side of the Prismatic Sphere was the Paladin on?" Canser the Archmage

"Any magical artifact that 2 demon lords are fighting over obviously belongs in MY hands!" Canser the Archmage

"I have Globe of Invulnerability! I...probably should have...cast one of those in the last combat, huh?" Anonymous